


Open Up, Everything's Waiting for You

by WasabiMalec



Series: The "Safe Haven" AU Universe [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec is hiding behind walls and his past, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Artist Magnus Bane, Artist!Magnus, But that death happens prior to the story, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Falling In Love, Hazel-eyed Alec, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, I have no idea how to tag, Looming Danger, Love, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus is still as fabulous and loving as ever, Minor Character Death, Nicholas Sparks, Past Relationship(s), Protective Magnus Bane, Romance, Running Away, Safe Haven, Single Parent Magnus Bane, Small Towns, Supportive Magnus Bane, Writer Alec Lightwood, Writer!Alec, and the love of Max and Rafael, but can't help but fall for the warm embrace of Magnus, but has his own ghosts, but there is a ghost type person, he finds his true home!, he is trying to be so strong for Alec, his safe haven!!!!!, single parent!magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2018-12-24 21:04:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12020964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WasabiMalec/pseuds/WasabiMalec
Summary: Alexander Lightwood arrives in a small, sunny beach town somewhere on the Eastern seaboard. Escaping a man who should have loved him but only caused him pain, he leaves New York in order to find peace and safety. In a place that is completely new and where no one knows him, he keeps himself on guard and his head down.Just as he's trying to keep his walls up and craft a humble new life, Magnus Bane appears and sparks a passion and safety that he never knew love could give him. Let alone from a man like Magnus, who's had more than his share of life's heartache and cares for two children as if they're his own. How long can he keep his walls up and his past hidden before he finds himself falling for him? And how long will it take for his nightmares to come find him again?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO MALEC FANS! 
> 
> My name is Wasabi (obviously a nickname but I've gone by this for a while).This is my first foray into fanfic writing and I am nervous as hell. I have always loved writing and think I'm half decent at it, but creating a story like this is so intimidating, and sharing it even more so. But I really want to do this for this fandom because people write such amazing stories and I would love to give something back.
> 
> This AU is based on the movie Safe Haven. Yes, a Nicholas Sparks movie, which I normally detest. And to be fair, the actors in this movie were pretty bad too. But alas, one day on Netflix, I sat through it and the storyline of leaving your problems and finding peace in a brand new place is a theme in fiction and reality that I find really interesting. I couldn't get the idea of putting it together with Malec out of my head so I went for it. I just have the prologue posted for now but I have a long Chapter 1 mostly done and everything else drafted out. I will get the first chapter out this weekend for sure.
> 
> This will probably remain mostly in Alec's perspective. He's probably the character I relate to the most so I'm looking forward to writing from that headspace. I'll see if I can incorporate some of Magnus, because he's the type of person I wish I could be more like. 
> 
> This story will have some mature themes so I'll be sure to mark any warnings that I need to with each chapter. This movie also has a great soundtrack and I am a massive music lover so I will try to link songs with certain scenes. This is my way of getting through the Shadowhunters hiatus so if you're joining this journey with me, welcome! I present the prologue, chapter one/two on its way. Also, I'm looking at about 7 chapters with this but I'll solidify that sometime soon. 
> 
> Lots of love,  
> Wasabi <3
> 
>  
> 
> (Characters belong to Shadowhunters, Cassie Clare and all those who create the show and universe. The storyline of Safe Haven belongs to Nicholas Sparks and everyone who made that movie. I own nothing. Please don't sue me, I'm a poor student with a bunch of loans. I'm writing because I can't afford a psychiatrist)

\---

With slightly soaked shoes and his hood pulled tightly over his dark messy hair, Alec rushes through the frenzied bus terminal, with the impending prick in the back of his neck reminding him that he couldn’t rest yet. Not yet, not until he finds a way out of here as soon as possible. The rain had fallen sporadically all night in Manhattan and now the lights from inside the building and out on the streets cast a glow through the dark night. The electric currents of the weather and the bustle of this environment seemed to feed into his mind. He pushes past the bodies swarming the path towards trains headed south and immediately quickened his step. 

Making his mind up at random and rushing for the bus at the end of the line, which seemed to be boarding its final passengers, he frantically signaled for the driver to wait as he bolted on. Keeping his quick pace until he reaches the empty back row, an exasperated and relieved breath escapes his lips as his head rests against the rain-soaked windows of the coach. The intensified beating of his heart that had palpitated throughout his whole body for the past hours had finally taken some rest as the driver maneuvers out of the tunnel and heads for the path to leave the city. 

Relief washes over Alec like a tidal wave, though he knows its a temporary respite. The bus makes its way down the Eastern seaboard as night creeps along its way, giving Alec a chance to rest, mind and body. The last few days have been a cacophony of fear and terrible anxiety, as he made the escape from the life causing him pain. Without the slightest idea of where he was heading, he took comfort in the growing number of miles between where he left and wherever this bus took him. He longed to know what it was like for love not to hurt him, to put his trust in someone who would cherish it and protect it with everything they had. 

With a level of willpower he didn’t know he had in that moment, he pushes those thoughts away and chooses to focus on the most important thing at that time: to get somewhere safe.


	2. New Places, Old Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec arrives in Southport, and back in New York, someone is not giving up the search for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOOO WORLD! I said I would deliver this chapter this weekend and I'm a little surprised that I got it out so quickly. The structure I was planning changed a bit, so I think It's going to be about eight 2k chapters. I actually already have chapter 3 done so I will post that sometime this weekend as well. I'm really looking forward to writing chapter 4 so I might start that tonight as well. 
> 
> Also, I do realize that Ch 1/prologue was written in present tense, which isn't typical of writing. Since I'm a bit rusty, I didn't realize that at first so everything else I've written is in the traditional past tense that's used in fiction writing. Aghhhhh apologies for that flub on my part. 
> 
> LOVE TO YOU ALL!! Thanks for all the support I've already received. This fandom is literally the best ever. Enjoy! 
> 
> CW: some small mentions of physical and emotional abuse but it's not graphic at all (but I'd rather be safe)

\---------------------

A sharp turn in the road caused the bus to jolt, shaking Alec out of his fitful rest. Outside, the sun was shining with ferocity, lighting up a bright blue sky along the road that was traversing from one coastal town to the next. And if he closed his eyes, he could almost taste the salt water through the air flowing in freely from the open window. These new sensations washed over him and he embraced the newness of his surroundings for a moment, closing his eyes to gather every bit of peace he could. 

Still unsure of where he was, he was grateful for some passengers leaving in the night, allowing him to stretch his long frame across a few seats. He was eager to make it to the next stop to get something eat and drink, as well as rid himself of the prickling feeling of not using his legs for so long. As he stared out the window, he noticed that small buildings became more frequent as they approached their next town, apparently by the name of Southport, North Carolina. It looked as charming as a number of beachside American towns did, a photo opportunity for passing tourists but probably the most peaceful respite for its permanent residents. For someone who was certain he felt at home in the bustle and congestion of New York City, he momentarily felt envious of the quiet one could have living in a place like this. He also then internally berated himself for thinking that anyone’s life could be so simple, surely the people who lived here had their own kinds of problems. 

As the bus slowed to a stop at a small pier with a smattering of buildings that looked like storefronts, he collected his sparse amount of things in an eagerness to get off the bus and stretch his legs. As he stepped off the bus, he saw a row of various shops lined along the small pier, with a similar row of colorful, idyllic homes across the street, all facing a sleepy beach with calming waves that crashed gently on the shore and the small boats at dock. Most passengers swarmed the general store to go to the bathroom and get something to eat, like Alec did when he got a coffee and some morning snacks that he placed in his bag. The crowd was still buzzing inside so he went along the pier near the other storefronts. There were about 4 more small buildings lined up next to it but immediately next store was a light blue building, starkly contrasting the rich orange that painted the outside of the general store. Over the door was a large sign with cursive letters that read _Magnus’s School of Art_. He could see the walls filled with colorful paintings so he stepped closer to the glass window to admire them further. 

As he walked up to the building, he could also see some children sitting in front of easels on one side of the large room and a couple teenagers were on the other side of the room at the potting wheels, their hands a clay mess. One thing he immediately recognized was that every person he could see had a massive smile on their face. That happiness lightened his heart at that moment as he glanced up at the collection of paintings on the wall. Most of them were smaller in size but one that immediately caught his eyes was at the center of the group on the largest piece of canvas. It was a medley of shapes and strokes, engulfed in warm colors that seemed to wrap around his eyes. Alec didn’t know too much about art but he knew that the abstract painting was striking and sparked emotion inside of him that was unexpected. 

Trying to hide the feelings that were surfacing, he glanced back at the children in front of the easels and noticed that a man with styled black hair and impossibly broad shoulders and arms was crouching next to one child, seemingly helping him with his artwork. His back was facing Alec but he could see the shimmer of his gold and maroon shirt that hugged his sculpted body. Moments after, he stood up to his full height which seemed to be close to his, and turned slightly towards his direction. And with just that one motion, all the air leaves Alec’s lungs as he saw the face of one of the most beautiful people he’d ever seen.

Before his eyes was someone that was a walking paradox by looking so put together, yet effortlessly stunning. He moved with an otherworldly grace, and Alec was transfixed by his tan skin and inviting eyes, the smattering of stubble across his sculpted chin, his perfectly crafted outfit and face perfectly enhanced with eyeliner. He just realized that he was probably staring so obviously but couldn't force his eyes away if he tried. The stranger had moved over to another child and was instructing him with a warm, comforting smile. Alec concluded that must be the Magnus indicated from the sign, especially from the way all his students regarded him with adoration. 

But then, as if the universe willed it this way, a shape at the window must have caught the supposed Magnus’s attention as he whipped his head to the side and locked his eyes with Alec’s. Alec knew he should look away to not seem like some strange guy watching his class, but he felt the strongest jolt in his heart as he saw the beautiful man look at him. As if it couldn’t get better in that moment, he smiles with such warmth that a new flush rises to his cheeks from being caught staring and he quickly turns around and walks towards the other end of the dock, leaving the image of that enchanting man burning only in his brain. 

He reached the middle of the dock and leaned against the wood railing, keeping a decent eye line with the bus, where he could see some people getting back on. As his eyes skimmed over the water and the boats bobbing with the subtle movement, he felt all noise around him fade away and the only thing that remained was the wind blowing gently against the saltwater, casting him under a spell of serenity. He not only momentarily forgot where he was, but who he was. He wasn’t someone who had been tormented by a man he loved, a man who shamed him for wanting to be his true self, a man who wanted him to hide that he was gay, even from his family, for his own professional reputation. 

A man that had hurt him, physically and emotionally, and claimed it was because of his love. 

That man wasn’t here, and Alec wasn’t back there with him. He was here, hundreds of miles away on a serene beach in a quiet town. With that realization, relief wrapped him up and he felt himself truly rest for the first time in months. Maybe it was this perfect atmosphere and the picturesque scenery around him that was getting to his head, but he knew this was a place he wanted to stay. So as he watched the driver of the bus be the last passenger to board and move the large coach out back onto the road, he watched it drive away. He let it leave while he remained, and the reality of the decision he just made brought a soft smile to his face, the first genuine one in too long. 

 

\------------------

_Back in New York, around the same time_

 

The harsh sound of someone banging on the door reverberated through the apartment, drowning out all surrounding noises of the city. It continued relentlessly until Izzy walked to the door with exasperation as he opened it to face the furious eyes of Kevin, Alec’s now former boyfriend. The very man that made her say goodbye to Alec for his own safety. 

“Where is he, Isabelle?”

Izzy scoffed at him, “You lost the privilege to know anything about him ever again, Kevin. Now leave,” and she began to close the door, but he lunged forward and wedged his foot in the door to come face to face with Izzy. 

Up close, he saw just traces of the handsome, fair-skinned brunette that Alec had mentioned to him before with eagerness. Before things got worse. Before he tried to force Alec back into the closet for his precious reputation at the precinct. Before he went too far and laid a hand on her brother. When she looked into his eyes, she saw a frenzied look that scared her for just a second before she regained her resolve and stood her ground with him.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me. I know you helped him leave. I’ll find him on my own either way, so just make it easy for all of us. Your brother is confused and he needs me, I’m trying to help him,” he said in a low voice that seemed like it was trying to manipulate. 

“HELP HIM?! All you’ve ever done is hurt him Kevin, you neglected him so badly that he always thought who he was wasn’t enough. He constantly felt like he had to change from the incredible person he was to please you,” she growled at him with a fury that could only be driven by her fierce protectiveness over her big brother. How dare he come to her like this, thinking that she or Alec owed him anything. 

She continued, “I don’t care if you’re a cop, you won’t find him. He’s somewhere far from here and safe, but most importantly, far away from you. Stay away from him forever.”

With that, she stepped back into her apartment that she shared with Simon and slammed the door in his face. She locked the door quickly and peeked into the eye hole to see if he was still there. As she suspected, he was frozen in the same place but she held back a gasp as the crazed look in his eyes grew more fierce. Kevin let out something between a scoff and a laugh as he threw his hands up with some defeat, but then Izzy heard him speak again. 

“That’s where you’re wrong Isabelle. I will find him and I won’t stop until I do.”


	3. Make Up Something to Believe in Your Heart of Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Alec tries to forget some of his demons, he starts accepting chances for renewal.
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: brief mentions of physical and emotional abuse again, though they aren't graphic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies,
> 
> WOW 2 CHAPTERS IN 2 DAYS?! I know, crazy. I already had this chapter done and I didn't see the need in waiting much longer to deliver it. I don't think this pattern of posting will be standard but since I have some free time lately, I've just been cranking it out. I'll keep you updated on how my schedule will allow for this more.
> 
> I will say this: this fic is becoming a monster and I have the utmost respect for fic writers now because I see the detail and care that it comes in. I'm trying so hard to make things flow nicely and stay true to their characters and also the theme of the story. It's definitely going to be more than 8 chapters at this point, but I'm cool with that. Thank you all for your support and patience. Writing is really a therapy for me so I love having people who are as excited as me. 
> 
> Thanks again and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Lots of love xoxoxoxx  
> (Chapter title is from the song Mistaken for Strangers by The National, one of my favorite bands)

Alec woke up in a jolt from his small, impromptu camp under the pier, a bed made up of his bag and a jacket. By the pinkish hue of the sky and the sun lighting up the sky without making its full appearance yet, he could tell it was the very early hours of morning. A soft breeze dusted past his hands, causing him to shove them in his sweatshirt pocket. He took a moment to listen to the ease of small waves hitting the shore and seagulls singing amongst themselves. He used these sounds to try and forget what his mind had been focused on in his slumber. Some painful memories still flooded his head as he slept, using the stillness of night to let his conscious fall back into the moments where he was terrified. But these monsters currently devouring his thoughts weren’t a distant nightmare.

They were the emotional remnants of the wounds of being a fool, desperate to think that this manipulation and pain he faced was love. They were why he was sleeping underneath the pier in a foreign town, on the run. It’s why he had to disappear from his siblings, who he loved and cared for his whole life, for the sake of his safety. 

Kevin always said he loved him. No one had ever loved him romantically before and he clung to the small inklings of affection that he’d grown fond of. He thought that the intimidation and disagreement was part of it. The fact that they were at different stages in figuring out and being happy with who they truly were was what he thought was part of it too. As threats from him to keep their relationship and his sexuality quiet grew more dangerous, one particular instance left bruises on his heart and on his body for the first time. As Kevin’s behavior became more erratic, Alec worried for his immediate safety. He didn’t want to stay hiding in the closet his whole life, but he also didn’t want to push the wrong button with the man he thought he loved. He felt utterly trapped.

Love wasn’t supposed to trap you. Was it not supposed to enrapture you in a warm embrace, allow you to be your truest self, be by your side while you opened your arms to the world? 

The night he came clean to Izzy and Jace regarding the relationship, he broke down in a way he never experienced. He had to tell his siblings that his foolish hopes about Kevin had been utterly wrong. He was overwhelmed, scared, hurt, and confused. He hated how he felt and he hated fighting with someone who didn’t want what he wanted. He had faced the pressures of expectation and living by someone else’s wishes for so long that when he started to make more decisions about what he wanted, he realized that he wanted to be more of who he was. Free, open, happy. 

His parents were successful lawyers and hoped for him to follow their steps so his major switch in college to literature and writing definitely perturbed them. His siblings had defended his choice though, like they’ve always done. That’s why when he came to their doorstep in desperate need of assistance, they saw no choice at the moment other than him escaping, at least for the time being. When someone who’s threatening you shares a key and knows where you live and work, it seemed too hard to create that needed distance organically. The idea of being away from his beloved siblings for an undetermined amount of time seemed nearly impossible, but he knew it was a decision that could work. It could save him. 

He supposed it was working so far, because he was in a place that would be hard to track him down. He took another deep breath of saltwater-tinted air and let it steady himself. He ate some of the food he bought the previous day as he watched the sun rise brightly over the horizon, making all the colors of this small town shine. No postcard he’d ever seen of North Carolina could have prepared him for the beauty of this place. 

He walked along the beach for a little while, keeping his head down and giving minuscule smiles to any person he passed. He took this time to attempt some kind of plan that will help sustain himself here. Walking for a bit longer, he sees the row of stores in the distance where the bus stopped in front of the day before. He could never forget the brilliant shade of blue of that art school. 

His mind wandered momentarily to the beautiful man he saw in the window yesterday but his swooning thoughts were halted as he saw a building in front of him that looked like a local seafood restaurant along the water, the kind that both tourists and locals would flock to. He approached the patio area, where there was already a handful of people getting an early lunch. The employees moved around the large, casual space quickly and seemed to be reporting back to a tall woman with dark, smooth skin and a sweet smile. She wore jeans and a light blue t-shirt with the restaurant’s logo, the same as everyone else was wearing. She said quick commands to people but with a kindness that made everyone take on their task with a smile. 

Once she was free of people around her, Alec swallowed any lingering nerves and went up to the counter she was reading a paper at. Once he got up to the other side of the counter, he spoke up and said, “Excuse me, are you the owner?” 

The woman smiled at him warmly but with a hint of mischief as she stated, “You’re observant, I like you already. Yes, I’m the owner. Catarina, what can I help you with?”

“I was wondering if you needed anyone to work here.”

She glanced around the restaurant momentarily before turning back to Alec. “We have been pretty slammed since summer is just starting. I haven’t really had the chance to think about getting someone new. But maybe, do you have any experience?”

He smiled carefully and said “I waited tables in college for a couple years so I might be a little rusty but I am a quick learner and I'll work my ass off.” He was now mortified that he had just cursed in front of the person he was trying to get to hire him. 

Catarina took a few silent seconds to regard him carefully, as if she was listening to her instincts make the decision for her. I’m sure his slightly disheveled appearance and bag filled with miscellaneous belongings made him look questionable but he hoped she would see past that. Just when the silence seemed like it would last forever, she smiled wider and said “Okay, you’re in. But I’ll need you to start now, if that works for you.” 

It seemed like this place kept giving him chances and providing him with relief that he could stay here and be comfortable. He accepted with eagerness, following Catarina into the back so he could get started. 

After some quick instruction, Alec worked through the restaurant’s lunch hour and only fumbled a few times with orders and carrying large trays of food. Later in the afternoon, everyone confirmed that his first day was great and he picked it up well. The free lobster roll he got for lunch helped in loving the spot as well. He knew it wasn’t the most difficult job in the world but it allowed him to keep busy.

As he took his stuff and started to make his way out of the restaurant and off the steps of the patio, he heard Catarina yell for him to wait. While she still had warmth in her face, she started to ask Alec if he was new in town and how he got there. Though Alec hesitated for a bit about what to tell her, he offered a truncated version of the truth, stating that he was far from his home and wanted to go somewhere to get a clean start. 

Initially worried at what her reaction would be, he was more than surprised when she responded by offering him an opportunity to live in a small house in the wooded area about a mile away. “It's a small house for sure, enough for one person really and a bit of a fixer-upper, but it could be perfect for you.” 

The shock of her generosity lingered on later as he stood in the house with Catarina as she showed him around. The small but beautiful white house with the front porch was surrounded by willow trees, but just enough space for the sun to shine through so the forest would light up during the day. There were some houses in the general area but far away enough to feel like he could enjoy his solitude. Luckily, there were some leftover pieces of furniture, making the offer almost seem too good. Without any more hesitation, he told Catarina that he was in and worked out a payment agreement with her with his coming paychecks. 

Just as she was walking down the steps of the house’s front porch to leave, Alec rushes back out and asks her, “How come you did this for me? I appreciate it so much but it just seems crazy. Almost too good to be true.” 

Catarina paused again before she spoke. She tended to do that, or at least he thought she did in the short time he knew her, as if she was choosing her words very wisely. 

Then she spoke, “I see good in you Alec, but I also see pain in your eyes. It’s a look and a feeling I get from you that I’ve seen before from a friend of mine. You clearly left something behind that maybe was bad for you and I’m glad you did. Sometimes, those decisions are the hardest to make but they speak the greatest to who we truly are. If this is where you can be safe and happy, then I am more than happy to assist in you sticking around.” She finished her words with a resounding certainty as she waved and turned to head back towards the restaurant. 

\---------------------

In the first night in his new home, Alec curls up in the bed against the wall of his room, next to the large window that allows for the moonlight to cast a soft glow inside. The muted sounds of wind blowing and small animals outside create a surprisingly peaceful atmosphere. Unfortunately, it was not loud enough to keep his menacing thoughts at bay. Thoughts of being captured, of being taken back to a life he hated against his will, of Kevin’s love being used as a weapon against him. Closing his eyes and trying to will those thoughts away with all the strength he had, his tiredness eventually led him asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Alec meets someone finally.....any idea who?


	4. It's Just Gravitational

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec meets a few locals, including someone that is impossible to ignore...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies,
> 
> This chapter is a baby monster. I honestly didn't know where to break it up without making coming chapters confusing. I am so so so sorry about the lack of real cohesion so far but I'm doing my best to do better. The problem is.....when it comes to describing Magnus, I literally cannot be stopped. I want to spend hours describing how beautiful he is. 
> 
> Alec meets quite a few people in this chapter. There's going to be some explanation into Magnus's background soon. I have to admit, that part is getting a bit complicated so I want to take some time fleshing that out well. 
> 
> I hope you like this really long chapter, and apologies for any mistakes. I've got some school tasks to finish this week but I'll try to devote my nights to writing because it helps me sleep :) 
> 
> Wasabi out <3  
> (Chapter title is from Unstoppable by Lianne Le Havas)

—————-

Heavy summer sunlight streamed down on Alec’s face as his eyes flickered open. Despite the thoughts he continued to have trouble escaping, he had managed to get a few hours of sleep and took that as a small victory for the day. After washing up and getting dressed in jeans and a dark green t-shirt, he stepped onto the front porch of his humble spot in the woods, admiring the sway of the willow trees branches in the wind. He inhaled deeply and allowed the newness of his surroundings to fill his body and sink into his bones. For someone who had lived his whole life in the chaos of New York, he never knew he could get accustomed to living somewhere so quiet. But there was something here that made his mind hum with a feeling he’d never experienced. It was hard to understand, even for him. 

He went inside and ate the banana that was the last of his food he’d purchased on the day he arrived. He sat at the small table in between the sunny living room and the kitchen as he observed the barren walls of his new place. 

At this point he realized two things: he would need to get some food soon and he might want to paint his walls, or anything really, to spruce up his spot. Remembering that the town was only a mile away from his walk with Catarina, he headed out into the warming summer day. Since he didn’t have work today based on the schedule he agreed on, he was eager to keep himself busy and get acclimated a bit. 

As a familiar group of colorful buildings came back into sight, he made his way towards the orange storefront he’d gotten his coffee from two mornings earlier, smiling slightly at the always brilliant blue of the art school next door. As he walked into the general store and grabbed a shopping basket by the door, he noticed that the store was empty but some distant voices were coming from somewhere. He meandered around the store for a bit, picking out some food basics that he could prepare. Despite his love of cooking, he didn’t feel the need to invest in complicated ingredients right now. Once the basket was filled, he went to the counter where there was an empty register, so he continued to glance around the store until a small head popped up from behind the counter, causing Alec to whip his head back around. 

“Hi! How are you today?” said a small boy with fluffy dark hair and big eyes, wearing a bright blue shirt. After he stepped onto something that gave him more height at the counter, he started to unload the items of Alec’s basket. 

“Hi. Uh…is your mom or dad around?”

“Not right now, but I can help you,” the boy stated with a sweetness that was impossible not to love. “Were you looking for anything else?”

The small smile on Alec’s lips grew wider at the young boy in front of him, enjoying his easy kindness in that moment. He leaned forward on the counter a bit before he replied. 

“Well actually, I was wondering if you had any paint. My house looks really boring so I wanted to make it more exciting.” 

Thrilled at the idea, the boy’s face lit up as he exclaimed, “Really?! I want to help with that! I love painting. What color do you like?”

“Hmmm, I’m not sure. What about you, what’s your favorite color?” 

Without a moment of hesitation, he eagerly stated, “Blue! It’s the color of all the best things. The sky, the water, blueberries, so many flowers are blue too!” 

His excitement was infectious and this small conversation with such a happy child was already becoming the highlight of his day. Alec replied, “Okay I’m sold, blue it is. Do you have any blue paint I can buy?” 

The young boy giggled to himself and smiled, “Of course we do! We have so much paint to choose from, my dad is an artist!” 

With those words, Alec had a major realization about where he was next door to. Just as he started to connect the dots of who his father could be, the boy yells out, “Papa! Can you come in here please?!” 

As quick footsteps were heard, he looked to where it was coming at the wall furthest from him, where he noticed a door for the first time. As the door swung open, he was pretty sure he already knew who would be entering the room, but that hadn’t stopped him from forgetting how to breathe as the beautiful man from two days ago came striding through the door.

With the grace of a panther, the man waltzed into the store and headed to the counter where his son was standing. Alec took in his ever-perfect appearance. He wore ripped black jeans and a silky patterned shirt in an fluid array of greens and blue, with sleeves rolled up to his elbows and buttons undone until the middle of his chest. Through the set of necklaces he was wearing, he saw a sinful amount of tanned skin, from his sternum to his collarbone. His hair was in a similar swoop of black spikes on his head and those beautiful eyes put him under a trance. Now without a glass window between them, he got to appreciate all of his beauty up close. 

As he stared at the man walking towards him, he thought he could see the man’s eyes widen for a moment as he stared back, as if he was surprised to see him. Their connected gaze continued for a few more moments as he wore a small smirk until he looked back at his son, “What did you need, Max? Is this handsome customer giving you any trouble?” 

Alec’s cheek flushed at the flirtation but before he could respond, Max stated “Nooooooo Papa, he’s so nice. He needs to be buy some paint.”

Smiling wide as he locked eyes with Alec once again, the man stated, “Well we can certainly help him with that. Max, could you do me a favor and get the paint color booklet?” And with that, the boy he now knew was Max jumped down and ran back through the door that led into the next building. Alec was now left alone with the most stunning man he’d ever seen, his feet shifted in nervousness because he couldn’t stop himself from staring. 

“I’m surprised you’re still here. Most of the bus passengers are in town for about 10 minutes and then they’re more than ready to leave.” He finished the unloading of his basket items that Max had started, his strong forearms directly in front of Alec’s eyes, with graceful hands that had painted tips. 

It took Alec a second to gather himself but the first thing he could think of, “You…you remember me?” 

The man smirked, “It would be nearly impossible to forget someone so wonderfully tall and with those eyes,” he replied with a small wink that shot flashes of red to Alec’s cheeks. 

Aiming to keep his low profile, Alec muttered “Oh…yeah. It was unexpected but I like it here. So I’m here…for now.” He looked away in uncertainty in that moment but he could tell Magnus’s gaze was on him, attempting to decipher this unexpected visitor. And then, he saw one of those hands of tanned skin extend out to him. 

“I’m Magnus. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

“Hi…Alec.” Magnus’s eyes shone as Alec grabbed his hand firmly, feeling the lovely softness of the tantalizing skin he could not escape in front of him.

“Alexander,” Magnus purred as he kept holding Alec’s hand for a moment longer. “I do hope you like it here, it’s a place of splendid beauty if you ask me.” The use of Alec’s full name irked his brain for a second, only because he hadn’t heard it so long, especially in a way that wasn’t to berate him (either by his parents or Kevin). But when Magnus spoke his name, it rolled off his tongue and he made it sound like some beautiful piece of prose.

Blinking himself back into reality, he watched as Magnus bagged up his items and pushed it towards him. “Thank you, I hope I like it too” he said to him. Alec found it so hard to not just stare and get lost in this beautiful man, but he kept his head down and only went on with brief glimpses. Just then, Max came running back into the store and up to the counter, a large swatch book of paint samples in his hand. He ran right up to Alec and handed him the book, “Here you go! There’s so many great colors in there but blue is the best.”

“Max honey, please let the nice man decide what color HE wants.”

“But he told me! We talked about it! He liked that blue was my favorite color and now he wants to paint his walls blue,” Max exclaimed.

Alec’s cheeks blushed for another time because he couldn't catch a break, but also because Magnus look at him with the most amused look at a stranger catering to his son’s whims. He’s also just now realizing that Max doesn’t look anything like his father, curious about what the reason of that could be. 

He paid for his food and thanked Max for the paint options. Magnus mentioned that he could look through all the colors and pick what he liked, and that if he didn’t have it in his supply room, he could order it for him. Alec nodded and thanked him quietly as he started to leave. 

Then he heard Magnus’s silky voice again, “Grab a book before you go! We have a bunch of books that tourists leave behind so we leave them out for customers.” At that moment, Max piped in, “Yes take a book!” As Alec glanced down at the basket in front of the counter, teeming over with books of all kinds, he felt his heart beat faster with excitement.

In his warranted frenzy of leaving New York, he betrayed his one rule of traveling anywhere and that was to take a book with you. Reading had been one of his most long-standing passions and what initially inspired him to become a writer. Knowing that he had no books here, this seem like a blessing that landed in his lap. 

He crouched down in front of the basket and saw a medley of genres to pick from. But before he could seriously peruse any of the options, he saw one of his favorites at the top: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. He picked it up without hesitation and put it in his shopping bag. 

He looked at Magnus, taking him one more time as he said, “Thanks again.” He spent the entirety of his walk back to the house thinking about Magnus’s eyes. How was it possible for a combination of green and gold to exist like that? It was unlike anything he’d ever seen, just like Magnus was. But even though the kindness he put on display, Alec saw the tiniest glimmer of sadness beyond those depths, fueling his curiosity even more about this beautiful man.

—————-

As he approached his house, still on an emotional high from his pleasant encounter with Magnus and Max, he realized he saw someone standing on his porch and peering into the windows of the house. The momentary happiness faded fast as the previous fear of being on the run returned. As he got closer to the house, he could see a slightly older man wearing a clean white button down and trousers with brownish-hair slightly curled hair. The man had his hands casually in his pockets as he glanced around.

Alec approached cautiously, “Um..Can I help you?” Upon hearing that, the man jumped with a fright and grasped his chest as if he was shocked. 

The man spoke with a smooth British accent, “My heavens, you frightened me….which is ironic since I’m the one who is suspiciously looking at your house. I apologize, I haven’t had a neighbor around here in so long so I was overtaken with my curiosity.” 

Alec seemed surprised, “Oh, I didn’t realize I had many close neighbors around here.” 

“I’m not close at all by city standards but I’m just a walk up the road. I didn’t mean to bother you, I truly understand the need to move here for some quiet so I promise not to be a bother. I'm Thomas,” as he extended his hand out to him, which Alec took. 

“Alec, nice to meet you.” 

“It’s a pleasure, Alec. If you ever need anything, feel free to come find me. I may be a grumpy, old Brit but I think I can be good company from time to time,” he laughed at himself as he sauntered off down the tree-lined road. Alec said goodbye, grateful that the conversation had remained minimal as he made his way inside the house.

—————-

Later that night, he made himself a simple dinner as he perused the colors of paint he had available to him. Though many of the colors appealed to him, his hands kept wandering back to the 4-5 rows of blue shades. He looked closely at the range of darks and lights and came across a color he had a memory of but couldn’t place exactly where he’d seen this light blue with gray undertones before. The color, named Carolina Blue, was calming yet would bring some needed energy into his house.

After a night of reading Frankenstein and slightly more restful sleep, he woke up the next day and got ready to work at the restaurant, with the intention to drop by the general store and check if they had the color he needed. 

As he walked up to the familiar orange building, he could see Max sitting outside in front of the entrance, coloring on a few pieces of paper. He was sitting with another boy who was a few years older, with shaggier brown hair and tanner skin. He had a fishing pole in his hand and ran toward the dock once he had fixed something on it, leaving Max with his drawings. He said hi to Max, who responded with his irresistible sweetness. 

When he asked if his dad was around so he could pick out his paint color, Max took his hand and led him through the store but instead of staying in there, he took him through the door he watched Magnus walk through the day before. Now he was definitely not in the general store, but very clearly, Magnus’s Art School. The space was filled with artwork on the walls and supplies scattered around the room. Near the back of the large space, there was a small desk to the side where Magnus was currently reading a book, but as they burst through the door, his eyes lit up as he saw Alec, or maybe that was just his wishful thinking playing tricks on him. 

“Alexander! What a lovely way to start my day,” he stated fondly as he stood up and went closer to them. 

“Papa, Alec picked out the paint he wants! And it’s BLUE,” Max exclaimed with unbridled excitement and Alec couldn’t help but hold back a chuckle at that. 

Magnus beamed at him, “I see that, sweetheart. You’re quite the visionary. Now, go keep an eye on the store while I check if we have the right color.” With that, Max said bye to Alec and skipped with glee back into the general store, leaving him alone with Magnus for the second time. 

As he turned to face him fully, Alec had no choice but to have his senses engulfed by his presence yet again. He had such an effect on him that his brain seemed to short-circuit in its feeble attempt to form a coherent thought. Today, Magnus was wearing a sheer button down in a deep purple color, with a single long necklace that wrapped around his neck and hung in a long string down his chest, adorned with small skulls and beads. His black pants were impossibly tight and showed off his sculpted legs, which led down to a pair of camel leather slip on shoes. He loved how he could always find new details everywhere he looked, he was insanely tantalizing. 

He then realized Magnus had been talking to him and he missed every word of it. He cleared his throat, while also clearing his mind in the process, “Sorry, what was that?”

Magnus’s smirk confirmed that he saw the trail of Alec’s gaze moments ago. “I was simply asking how you were today but apparently that’s too boring of a topic since you seem to have other things on your mind.” A wink from Magnus after that sent Alec blushing furiously, but Magnus didn’t torture him for too long. 

“Very well…let’s talk paint then. Follow me,” as Magnus walked behind a semi-blocked off area and went inside a small closet that seemed to be home to an endless amount of art supplies. Alec leaned against the entryway and stared at the wall that was filled with small paint cans.

“What color have you decided on?” 

“Oh, um, this one right here. Carolina Blue.” He pointed to the color on the paint swatch booklet. “Do you have this in stock?”

As Magnus looked down at the color he mentioned, a soft smile crept onto his face as he avoided eye contact with Alec for a moment. He breathed in deeply before responding, “Yes, I definitely have that one around. It’s an old favorite of mine..you may recognize it as the color this very building is painted with.” 

With that realization, Alec’s eyes widened as he froze. That was it. He knew he remembered that color somehow but could not place it. But of course, it was that stunning, calming blue he had seen on the first day in Southport, leading him to the discovery of this beautiful man before him. Just as he thought he could feel gravity pulling them together, he stopped himself right there and berated himself for forgetting the reason he was here in the first place. He needed to get a grip. He wasn’t here to flirt and have fun, he was meant to keep a low profile. 

Magnus bagged the paint he needed, as well as rollers and primer, along with a few instructions. “You know..if you need any help with the painting, I know this local art teacher with impeccable style that could give some assistance. It might be more fun as a two man job,” Magnus winked at Alec but he jerked back slightly as Magnus’s hand tried to gently smooth itself down Alec’s arm. 

“I can handle it. Thanks for your help,” he stated rather coldly as he walked back through the doorway to the general store, where he could see Max chatting outside with Catarina, who looked to be on her way to the restaurant as well. He looked back at Magnus for a second who was waving hello to Catarina before gazing back at him. Those eyes regarded him with curiosity and Alec said goodbye quickly to save himself any further embarrassment.

—————-

_New York_

Kevin sat at his desk at the precinct, luckily with his computer faced away from everyone so they couldn’t see what he was doing. He hadn’t slept in two days and was becoming more desperate to find Alec.

He knew that he had used some way of getting out of New York and he’d spent the past couple hours at work going through security footage of train stations, with no luck at all. He was now spending his lunch hour looking through footage from Port Authority Bus Station. It was initially his suspicion that he could find Alec in the footage easily, his height making him poke out of any crowd. However, the footage was grainy and he had nothing to go off of. 

As he clicked the file on his computer for cameras facing southern bound trains, he took a swig of his water bottle that carried a liquid that was certainly not allowed at work. The combination of more frequent drinking, lack of sleep, and sparse eating was greatly influencing his behavior and some of his coworkers were definitely starting to notice. 

The footage rolled on his screen when his eyes widened as he saw a tall hooded figure running towards one of the buses that was just about to head out. The hooded man had most of his face covered but as Kevin paused and restarted the tape, he stopped at a frame that gave a marginally clear glimpse of the face. It was him. Alec had gotten on a bus going down the Eastern coast. 

“Got you.”


	5. The Hard Feelings of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1 step forward, 2 steps back. 
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: mentions of character death, illness, abandonment)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends,
> 
> I just want to start by thanking everyone so much. The kudos, the hits, the comments have been amazing. I am so thrilled that everyone is enjoying this so much. It's become a great passion project for me. I find myself thinking about details of scenes throughout the day, and then I come home and write after I finish homework and studying. Thank you so much again. 
> 
> A decent amount of exposition is ahead because you need to see how much Magnus has overcome and is still the amazing person he is!!!! Magnus Bane is literally one of my favorite characters in existence, because he's someone who has felt so much pain but chooses to love. I can only hope to be so strong. I'm sorry if it's a bit of rambling but there's a lot of details to sort out. I also love Catarina like crazy, hence her heavy appearance in this, and interaction with Alec. I won't say too much more but to trust me, there is more of that interaction we want coming soon. I have great things planned. 
> 
> Lots of love to you all, hope you're having a great week.  
> Wasabi :*  
> (Chapter title from Hard Feelings/Loveless by Lorde, one of my favorite songs of the moment)

——————————

Once Alec arrived at the restaurant after visiting Magnus, it was still morning and a couple hours before the lunch crowd would arrive, so employees were doing miscellaneous tasks to get the place ready. After helping out in the kitchen for a while, he went to one of the tables near the back where Catarina was sitting to see if she needed anything.

“Yes, I would love an assistant,” she sighed with frustration but still had her ever-present relaxed demeanor. She laughed at her own comment, as if it was ridiculous. 

“Do you need help with something?”

“Urgh, it’s just these reservations for the next months got all screwed up because of my own flub, and now I have to reenter it all.” Alec glanced down at what she was doing and offered to help her out, which she quickly accepted. After fixing a good portion of the mistakes, they fell into a comfortable rhythm working next to each other, mostly silent until Catarina spoke up.

“So….I saw you were over at Magnus’s before you got here today. When’d you meet him?”

Alec blushed and stammered momentarily at the mention of Magnus, “I was, he was…he was just helping me get some paint for my apartment. That's all it was, really. He seems nice though.” 

As Alec said those words, he felt his mind flooded again and his nerve endings set ablaze at the memory of being in Magnus’s presence. No matter how hard he tried to not think about it, he was so drawn to him. He noticed Catarina’s expression, smiling warmly at first but then shifting to one of concern and sadness. Could it be about Magnus? 

“Yeah, definitely the nicest. I don't know how he manages to keep his smile sometimes.” 

Alec looked a bit bewildered at her statement. He stared at Catarina, as she internally debated if she wanted to tread into this personal territory. She breathed deeply as she focused back on him. 

“If you remember Alec, I told you I’ve seen similar pain to yours in a friend of mine. Magnus is that friend, he’s been my friend for years that I don't even bother with counting anymore. We met in Southport, years after he was a young, struggling artist from New York who traveled freely across the country, making his life from one commission to the next. He was with a woman named Camille, who was an artist too. I’ve seen Magnus care for men and women deeply, but no one tore him apart like Camille did.

“They had been in Southport for a few weeks when I met him and despite how animated and outlandish he could be, I adored him. Magnus found undeniable tranquility here and wanted to stay, but Camille was bored in a matter of minutes. He’d made a lot of sacrifices for her so he fought hard to stay. But leave it to Camille to not give a damn about anyone else, so she just left in the middle of the night one evening.” 

Alec listened to Catarina’s words and tried to imagine how painful that must have been for Magnus, to lose someone you cared for so deeply and have them break your heart carelessly. He’d felt pain for sure, but that seemed so ruthless to someone you loved. “She sounds terrible.” 

With that blunt statement, Catarina's mouth ticked up slightly in a smile. “She absolutely is, I'm happy she’s out of his life.”

“Not just to abandon Magnus but to leave their kids behind too, that is unbe—,” he stopped mid-word as he looked at Catarina’s confused face.

“Those kids aren’t Camille’s, Alec. They’re technically not even Magnus’s, though he’d probably chastise me for making such a ludicrous statement,” smirky slightly as she made that last comment. 

She continued, “I wish Camille had been the only pain Magnus suffered that year. He was in such a mess after she left, his oldest friend Ragnor from London moved here to be with him and we became his support system. After a few months, he was back in his rhythm a bit and the three of us were enjoying the tranquility of living here. But even in a place like this, things creep on you, and they crept up on Ragnor.”

Alec felt his heart clench tightly at what she could possibly say next, but he knew it wouldn’t be good. 

Catarina brushed back a few runaway tears from her cheeks. “He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in its very late stages and there was not much that could be done. He at least got to spend his last months in a beautiful place with his best friend. In that time period, I saw Magnus be stronger than I’ve ever seen, but I also saw him at his most shattered.” 

She kept her hands busy with the reservations but Alec saw the tears flowing steadily down her cheeks, so he rested his hand on her shoulder in a small show of comfort. It seemed to do the trick to bring her out of this trance of painful memories, causing her to smile back. 

Alec waited a moment before he responded, “I’m…I’m still not sure where Max and Rafael came from.” This caused her to chuckle lightly, making him glad that he hadn’t said the wrong thing in that moment.

“Their entrance was more like a stroke of fate about a month after all this tragedy. Magnus is now good friends with Luke, who’s the town sheriff. Luke got a call one night about two abandoned kids at a bus stop, just outside of Southport. They weren't hurt but they were terrified at being left, so Luke took them to the station and stayed with them for days while they tried looking for family members. Magnus and I were horrified for these poor kids so we spent a lot of time keeping them company and assuaging any fears. I love children myself, but I could see something so special with how Magnus interacted with them. 

“He understood them, and cared for them without inhibition. Whether it was the careful, thoughtful way Rafael spoke or the infectious smile of baby Max, Magnus grew attached very quickly. So, when the search for family turned up empty and Luke was to turn them over to child services, Magnus acted. Maybe it was driven by heartache or needing to fill a gap in his life, but it didn’t matter. He took them in and it gave him a purpose that saved him.”

She wiped her eyes of the last tears, indicating that the sad parts of the story were done. She took a deep breath and continued, “That man has been through every version of hell, and yet he has more love in his heart than anyone I’ve ever known." She sighed again, “May we all have the strength to rise up like that when the time comes.” 

She said those last words with an unguarded smile as she continued writing the last of the reservations down in her organizer. As she fell into her own silence, it allowed Alec to bask in his own, thinking about all the incredible information he just found out about Magnus. 

Though he didn’t truly know him, he is undoubtedly one of the incredible people Alec had ever met. To think of all the heartache that life has thrown at him, all the pain that could have been utterly debilitating and here he was, standing tall on the other side of it. His awe didn’t fade as he continued to think about him all afternoon, how incredible it would be to love someone like that. He wasn’t sure he’d ever know for sure.

——————————

Alec made the trek back to his house just as the sun was setting over Southport, casting an orange glaze over the trees and the water. Alec walked a little bit slower than necessary so he could embrace all the splendor and beauty around him. It was incredible how lost he felt, yet also found him discovering senses he never knew he had.

He started to pass by the art school and general store and across the street, he saw Max and the older boy he now knew as Rafael in the front lawn of one of the colorful houses in the row. Enjoying the sheen of dusk and the summer night air, they were outside playing with a frisbee. On the porch of the house, he saw a small gray tabby cat on the wooden railing, cleaning itself with his paws. 

As he walked by, Max waved excitedly and yelled hello as Alec continued walking down the road. Rafael seemed to be the less exuberant of the two, but that was really a one-sided perspective he knew could be false. He glanced back at the house once he was further away and his breath caught at the sight of Magnus leaning against the porch railing next to the small tabby. Alec could tell he was looking in his direction, despite him being far away. Magnus gave a small wave and Alec waved back, but thankful for the distance between them so he couldn’t see the blush rising on his cheeks. As he got closer to the house, he’d seen Thomas walking the other direction and had a quick, pleasant conversation before heading home.

——————————

A couple nights later, midnight crept around and Alec laid awake in his bed. The moonlight gleamed through the window of his house that night, pairing peacefully with the soft breeze that cooled his room through the window. Alec had trouble sleeping that night, but surprisingly not from nightmares about Kevin. Those feelings had gradually started to fade into the recesses of his mind, which Alec was beyond thankful for.

His nighttime thoughts had become more abstract but felt so new, while a feeling of languid comfort flowed through him. He sighed deeply and saw green and gold when he closed his eyes to go to sleep. 

The sound of a car approaching his house cut through the silence and he felt his body freeze. Perplexed as to who could be coming by at this hour, Alec’s mind immediately went to the worst suspicion of who it could be. 

He found him. Kevin had found him. 

He knew his serenity here couldn’t last. His steps would be traced eventually, he just didn’t realize how quickly it would happen. Alec stayed huddled under his sheets and he heard the car stop with the engine still running, but was perplexed at hearing some shifting noises, culminating with the clear sound of the car driving off. 

Once the still sounds of the forest had returned, he finally released the breath he’d been holding in his lungs, a wave of relief showering over him. He didn’t even know if he should be relieved but it seemed that whatever was going on outside his window had subsided. With the decision to investigate in the morning, he forced his eyes shut and himself into a fitful slumber. 

It wasn’t until Alec stepped out of the house the next morning, ready to walk to the restaurant, that he saw something sticking out against the dull wood of his house. Leaning up again the bottom of the porch stairs was a brilliantly painted, colorful bike with a large basket behind the seat in the back. It didn’t look entirely new but someone clearly put effort into its refurbishment. When he noticed the card stuck to it, it revealed who was the strange visitor who came in the middle of the night yesterday. 

_Alexander,_  
_Just in case those long legs ever get tired of walking everywhere_  
_I hope this will make things a bit easier._  
_-Magnus_

His initial reaction at the very mention of Magnus sent a delighted shiver through his body but it was overtaken quickly by anger over the fear it placed in him last night. He knew it was probably a little bit irrational but his tension lately made him gripe about this intrusion of his personal space. He was trying so hard to keep his head down around here, and the idea of someone coming into his space really bothered him for some reason. 

His anger rose in a clouded haze, unsure of the true origin but ready to take it out against the first person in his path. In a huff, he grabbed the bike and walked it to the general store, instead of giving the satisfaction of actually riding it. As he approached the row of stores, he could see Magnus out front and was oddly relieved that his kids wouldn’t experience this wave of anger. He was signing something for a man who went to unload stock after, but when Magnus saw Alec approaching him, his mouth twitched up into a delighted smile as he said hi.

“Good morning, Alexander. That’s quite a fabulous bike you have there.”

“Did you leave this at my house last night?” Alec asked with an icy edge to his voice that genuinely surprised Magnus, the confused emotion displayed all over his face. 

“It appears I wasn’t as coy as I hoped but yes I did. I thought it would be an easier way for you to get around.” He took a tentative step towards Alec, clearly seeing the rage in him but unsure of how to address it. Alec scoffed at his admittance, shaking his head as frustration grew inside of him.

Magnus continued, “I’ve had that spare sitting around for a while, it really was no trouble for me to give it to you. I just added a little pizzazz to it because well…that’s what I always do.” A small but nervous smirk spread across his face, “I have to admit, this was not the reaction I was expecting at all. Most people would just say thank you.” 

Without responding to that immediately, Alec walked the bike behind Magnus and leaned it against the wooden railing of the storefront, turning back around to face Magnus. 

His bitterness still at the tip of his tongue, fueled by the fears deeply embedded in his mind, Alec stated, “I didn’t ask for this and I don’t want it. And, and…I don’t appreciate you coming to my house, in the middle of the night to leave this there. So I won’t say thank you for something I didn't want, okay?” 

“I never meant t-"

“I don’t want it Magnus! Okay? What do you want from me?” 

He raised his voice a little too much with those last words and he had an inkling of regret immediately as he saw the glassiness in Magnus’s eyes from the harshness. Magnus took a deep breath, looked down at the ground, and back into Alec’s hazel depths before replying. 

“At the moment? Nothing. Goodbye Alec.” 

With that, he turned on his heel and veered right to walk towards the art school, leaving Alec to fully comprehend the anger he spewed in a moment of volatility. He was shocked at himself for reacting like that though it felt necessary at the time. But after he saw the hurt in Magnus’s eyes, the hurt he had caused with his fury, he was second-guessing nearly every word. 

Fuck, what did he just do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me! Things will get better very very soon.


	6. I've Been Waiting for You to Pull Me Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A drastic measure is taken and after a helpful conversation, Alec finds his way back into Magnus's orbit. 
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: small injury happens, but it's not graphic at all; someone abusing alcohol and acting erratically and dangerously. Please remember that Alec left an abusive relationship and ran away, so those things will come up in future chapters. I will take extra care to mark that at the beginning.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you lovely people, 
> 
> So remember when I thought that the last chapter was a baby monster? Well this chapter is that baby monster's slightly larger sibling. I have a feeling that as I get into more interaction scenes with Magnus and Alec, I'm going to get more generous with my writing and be unable to stop. You will see that evidence in this chapter. 
> 
> Thank you again for all the love with this fic. I am so excited to share with you all and it's just lovely to see how many people are reading it and supporting it. I'm having a blast writing it. The comments and kudos and everything really keep me motivated. Lots of love to you all. 
> 
> ENJOY! =)
> 
> (Chapter title is from Violin by Amos Lee, a song I discovered from the Safe Haven movie and it's beautiful)

——————————

Alec was completely lost in thought that he wasn’t even processing his walk home from work. He kept alternating between anger and regret over his confrontation with Magnus earlier. He couldn't understand why he cared so much about upsetting him. He was also mad at himself for getting hung up on someone in such a short amount of time. That is not what he came here to do. He was meant to lay low, to keep to himself, not to spend his nights imagining those perfect eyes and broad shoulders—

“Alec! Wait up!”

He heard a male British voice behind him as he glanced down the path he’d just covered. Not too far away, he could see Thomas making his way toward him. “Evening mate, I’m headed back home as well. I’ll walk with you.” 

Alec pulled himself a little out of his thoughts to talk casually with him, enjoying the fact that Thomas liked to do most of the talking in conversations. However, Alec’s emotions were clearly written all over his face once he remarked, “You look like you’re terribly overthinking something, Alec. What could possibly be bothering you on a sweltering hot, but still mildly enjoyable evening like this?”

As Thomas chuckled at his own comment, Alec smiled momentarily at the beauty around him before sighing, “It’s just…that man, Magnus, who works at the art school. I kind of…well not kind of, I seriously blew up at him about giving me a bike, but more for intruding on my personal space when I didn’t ask for it.”

“You’re ticked off about a bike?” Thomas tried to hold back a chuckle, as if Alec could possibly be joking but the seriousness of his expression showed the truth. 

“No, I’m ticked off by him feeling the need to give it to me, to do something nice for a stranger who is just trying to be neutral here and lay low, and then this man comes and I can’t ignore him and his actions and his face and—“

“My dear boy, you’re rambling incoherently. Take a breath.” 

With a deep inhale, Alec stared at the ground as his feet moved him forward. His nerve endings were making his mind go crazy, he couldn’t understand how someone had gotten under his skin so quickly.

Alec continued, “I…I guess I just don’t want to feel like I owe him, when he might not even like what I have to offer, from the person I am? Maybe, I don’t know.” He stammered around properly wording his feelings as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. 

“Alec, honestly, it’s only a bike, not your left kidney.” Despite his humor, Thomas was someone who didn’t like to dance around the truth, so he asked pointedly, “Why won’t you let him get close to you?”

“Because! Because the very thing I came here to get away from was a result of being too close to someone…and being that close to them hurt me in ways I didn’t think was possible. It’s too risky to do that again.” The words flew out of Alec’s mouth, surprising even himself. 

Thomas seemed to smile sadly in an understanding manner before he replied, “You know, whether or not it ends up being Magnus who does it, one day someone will show you that love is worth having again. And they’ll show you that it’s not meant to hurt you. Someone like Magnus could be a rather good place to start.” 

They’d reached the point in the road that Thomas diverged towards his own place, which Alec still hadn’t seen before but it was down a trail covered more thickly with willow trees. Saying his goodbye, Thomas walked away and Alec continued down his own path.

Later that evening, he sat at his small kitchen table with an empty plate in front of him, which had been there for over an hour now. He was completely lost in thought, Thomas’s words resonating and reverberating through him. It was completely clear to him now that he’d overreacted, and he lashed out in the most insensitive and rude way possible, especially to someone who’d shown nothing but compassion. 

If there’s anyone in the world who didn’t deserve the focus of his wrath, it was Magnus. Especially after hearing of all his heartache from Catarina, Alec did not want to be an additional cause of pain. 

He truly wanted nothing more than to get closer to him, to follow that pounding call of his heart, and the reeling in his mind anytime he thought of him.

But he was scared, truly terrified. That was the hardest feeling to get over, that ever-present fear of being hurt by someone again, the way Kevin had hurt him. It would take all his strength and determination to get past that. However, in the quiet of night and his small home in the woods, he shot up from the table and went straight to bed, as if to will the coming of tomorrow sooner. Tomorrow, he would fix things and get past his fears. Tomorrow, he would apologize to Magnus and take the chance his heart’s been asking him to take.

——————————

_New York_

After a fruitless encounter with the employees at the Port Authority Bus Station, Kevin trudged back to his desk at the precinct with anger and frustration. The results of his questions to the people at the bus station did nothing to narrow down the search for Alec, about where he could possibly be. Where he could have possibly gone.

He was starting to lose his mind, he felt like everything in his life was upending. He took a sip from his clear plastic water bottle, but anyone close to his proximity could easily tell that its contents definitely weren't water. On his computer, he reviewed the fact that Alec’s bus was probably headed to Atlanta, but once the bus would have gotten there, he could get anywhere in the country. Hell, he could already be halfway to Montana. He needed to find a way to stop him in his tracks before he could get any further, and get him back to him. Who the hell did Alec think he was, running off like this as if he's a child and not even considering his perspective on it? 

A dangerous idea crept over from the back of his mind to the forefront, becoming more reasonable as he hashed out details on with his own justifications. Before even considering the consequences in his personal and professional life, he went forward as he thought it was the only way to get Alec back to him as soon as possible. 

He opened a window on his computer, uploaded a saved photo of Alec into the program, and started typing his physical characteristics into the bulletin. When it came to filling in the crime portion of the APB, he delayed just for a moment but his frenzy to find Alec pushed him to write the words, “Wanted: Alexander Lightwood, Aggravated Assault, Highly Dangerous.” Without another second of hesitation, he frantically hit send and let the bulletin go to precincts all over the east coast. He was sure that this could work, that Alec could be hiding somewhere in plain sight, and he would not rest until he had Alec back.

He took another sip of the liquor in his water bottle, as the alcohol soothed some of his anxiety, but further fueled his rampage.

——————————

The next day, Alec made his way to town after breakfast, just as the sun started to beat down stronger on the earth, creating pockets of shade and light through the tree branches along the road. As he got to the familiar row of shops, he went to the storefront side that faced the boat-filled docks and water, passing by the general store with the suspicion that Magnus would probably be at the school. As he walked to the school’s entrance, he could see Rafael playing at the edge of the dock with his fishing pole, balancing one foot on a boat a bit shakily. Max was closer to the store, drawing again with crayons.

He approached the school and he realized he could already see Magnus very close to the window, but his figure was partially blocked by an easel and canvas that was in front of him. But Alec could still see him so clearly, a look of thoughtfulness painted on his face. Alec took a deep breath as he opened the door. 

“Hi, Magnus.”

“Alec.” The cold in his tone sent the worst kind of shivers down his spine, nothing like the pleasant ones that were usually the response to Magnus’s presence. He noticed how his brushstrokes on the canvas became slightly more forceful as Alec moved closer to him, little by little. 

“What are you working on?” 

“Nothing in particular, just blowing off some steam,” he replied in a way that did not hide the implication that Alec’s coldness was responsible for that steam. Alec continued his approach until he was standing a few feet from Magnus, allowing him a glimpse of the piece he was working on. His eyes widened as he saw a haunting scenery of a stormy ocean, a medley of blues, grays, and blacks that conveyed so much ferocity. 

“That…that’s incredible, Magnus.”

As Magnus stayed silent at the compliment, his hand on the canvas faltered a bit at his desire to fill the gap. Alec knew it was his turn to do so though, to make amends with a man who had done nothing but be kind and helpful. He took a deep breath to gather himself before he continued. 

“I think I owe you an apology.” Alec was facing his profile and his eyes followed the trail of Magnus’s strong jawline and Adam’s apple peaking out under smooth, tan skin. Being distracted by this beautiful man was threatening to rob him of his coherence. 

“You think?” Magnus scoffed lightly but tried to keep his face neutral of any hurt as he continued to paint. 

“No, I know that I do. I definitely do. I kinda…just acted out at you and you didn’t deserve that. I want to get this right because I feel rea—“

He was cut off quickly by Magnus pushing past him to the school door facing the pier, opening it quickly and sticking his head outside, “Raf, keep two feet on the dock or in the boat please! I won’t say it again.” Outside, Rafael had one foot on the wooden dock and one against a boat bobbing next to it. Once he’d heard the raised tone of Magnus’s voice, he jumped back into the boat with a small pout on his face.

Magnus walked back inside but stood cemented at the door, “You made yourself clear, Alec. I won’t be a nuisance to you anymore or give you things you don’t want, even if they're incredibly useful and well-decorated.” 

“Magnus, please let me…“

“It’s in the past. Don’t worry about it,” but his arms crossed across his waist, closing his body off from him, spoke volumes to what his harshness had done. Alec really felt like he blew it.

As Alec walked toward the door with his eyes facing the dock, he could see Rafael standing on the bow of the small boat, trying to catch his balance. At that moment, the boat rocked from a less gentle wave coming through the dock, causing Rafael to slip and hit his head on the boat before rolling off into the water. 

Alec and Magnus both saw it happen as Magnus screamed his son’s name and before he could think, Alec ran to the water and jumped in towards Rafael. As he swam towards him to keep him afloat, he could hear Magnus’s approaching voice yelling for Rafael, as well as the shouts of a couple people who’d seen what happened from the general store. 

In the rolling water, he was crying as Alec grabbed him from his waist and held him close as he swam back towards the dock. Rafael clung onto him tightly and reached for the wooden ledge but was pulled swiftly up onto the dock by Magnus, checking feverishly to see if he was okay. Alec pulled himself out to see a handful of people gathered nearby to make sure everything was okay but at a much lower eye level, he could see Max hidden by a few pairs of legs. The look on his face was one of complete terror and concern, on the verge of tears, so Alec rushed over and kneeled down beside him. He pulled the small boy into his arms and he told him that everything would be okay, Max clinging on tighter to him as if that was the only way he would believe it. 

They watched as Magnus checked Raf’s head and one of the locals standing by who was a nurse, said he’d be okay. Rafael looked somewhere between embarrassed and troubled but stayed silent after Magnus carried him away into the store, whispering small words to make him feel better. As he walked past him, Magnus regarded his closeness with Max, who hadn’t let go since he came to the boy’s side, and he could've sworn the smallest of smiles appeared on his lips.

——————————

“That one looks like a turtle!”

“Which one? All I see are elephants everywhere.”

Max pointed at the sky over the water to the oddly shaped cloud that he was referring to and it made Alec smile widely. He carefully readjusted the small boy’s body on his shoulders so he didn’t slide back, but Max seemed far too thrilled to even notice.

He’d brought Max to the dock area in front of the art school to look for animals as a subtle distraction, which turned into finding animals through the shapes they saw in the sky. He hadn’t thought twice about keeping Max by his side while Magnus spent some time with Rafael after his incident. It’d only been a little while since Rafael was pulled out of the water but Magnus probably wanted to be certain that the quieter boy was okay. He didn’t mind at all, really. Max was so sweet and seemed to be really comfortable with him, though Alec knew that he was eager to check on his brother too.

“Max, my dear, please give those perfectly sculpted shoulders a rest.” 

Smiling to himself slightly as he turned around, he saw Magnus striding towards them with some of the stress from earlier dissipated from his demeanor. It was a wonderful sight for Alec to see. As he approached, he grasped Max from his shoulders and lowered him down to the ground, despite his adamant protests. 

“Sweetheart, do me a favor and go keep your brother company for a bit in the store. I’ll get you both some ice cream later.” 

Jumping at that opportunity, he said bye to Alec and all but ran into the general store as Magnus walked closer to him to stand at the wooden railing of the dock, staring out in the water. Alec followed him and stood with his hands on the wood, mere inches away from Magnus’s. So much had happened in the last hour, and just before that, Magnus was proving that his previous harshness put a wall up between them. But now, they were here, so close to each other with a tingling electricity that was begging for someone to act. Or maybe that was just how Alec felt, but judging by the softness in Magnus’s eyes, he was more hopeful than he was this morning.

He watched carefully as Magnus thought about his words. Alec wanted to speak so badly but the look on Magnus’s face begged him to wait patiently while he gathered his emotions. 

“Thank you.” The two simple words made a smile blossom on Alec’s face.

“It was no problem at all, really. I’m glad I could help.”

“Really, thank you. You acted so quickly to help Raf, and then you spent all that time with Max so he wouldn’t be scared that his brother got hurt. I could not be more grateful, Alexander.” Relief and happiness flooded his mind as Magnus called him by his full name again. He watched as he turned slightly to face him. 

With a look of concern, Alec inquired, “Is Rafael going to be okay?”

The care that was evident in his voice clearly affected Magnus as he smiled softly at him, “He’s okay. Physically, his injury is not much cause for concern but it’s hard to make sure he doesn’t use this as an opportunity to hide from people. He has some darker memories from his childhood that Max doesn’t recall since he was a baby, so I like to take specific time with him to understand what’s going through his head.” 

“He adores you, that’s easy for anyone to see.”

Magnus cocked his head slightly at Alec’s compliment, “It’s almost crazy to think that an hour ago, I thought I'd have to stop seeing those hazel eyes for the sake of my pride.”

Alec blushed furiously at that comment but he didn’t even bother to hide it anymore, because his actions today spoke clearly to how he truly felt. It had really only been an hour since Alec had feebly attempted to apologize to a very angry Magnus, and now they were standing so close together, but not close enough to touch. Alec wanted to so badly. 

With a deep breath as he gazed back into Magnus’s green and gold orbs, he stated, “I still want to apologize for how I reacted.” Magnus tried to protest but Alec insisted, “No please, I need to get this out. I was so rude to you and you didn’t deserve it. I…I’ve been pretty spent emotionally before I came here and I've had to deal with some serious things, so when I came here, I planned to relax and not meet anyone interesting……and yet, there you are.”

Magnus eyes glowed with happiness, “And there you are.”

“So yeah, I’m really sorry. If I can ever make it up to you, I’ll do anything.” 

Those words caused a light chuckle from Magnus, “I’m quite positive you’ve made amends for everything with all you’ve done for me today. So, the only thing I could ask for is to let me take you out this weekend.”

Alec’s head ducked down as his face mixed with a blush and a smile that could not be hidden. He turned to face Magnus more fully as he watched the way sunlight glistened over the man’s striking features and touches of glitter around his eyes. To think he arrived in this foreign town in a pit of fear, but he was now standing in front of the most stunning man he’d ever known, both his kindness and presence a thing of beauty. Whatever this was in front of him, it was worth it. 

“I-Abs—Yes. Yes.” He chose the simplest, and truest answer to this. More time with Magnus was exactly what he needed. 

“Wonderful, let’s do Sunday afternoon,” he stated with the most brilliant smile Alec had seen yet that it made his knees week. Their opposite hands rested on the wooden rail of the dock with maybe an inch between them as they regarded each other carefully. 

Magnus apparently couldn't stand the tension anymore as he moved his hand slowly over Alec’s and held it softly, as if he was asking permission. With his own response, Alec flexed his fingers up so they could rest against Magnus’s as they laced their fingers together, feeling the warm skin of the other in their palms. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, as Alec felt feelings that had never been awakened before. They felt like they were just at the precipice too, as if this beautifully consuming feeling of care and passion and peace was just starting for him. He looked at Magnus and enjoyed the stillness of this, as if nothing could touch him.

After not nearly long enough, they let go as Magnus made his way back into the store and Alec headed to the main road to get his things for work. 

“Oh Alexander?” Magnus’s silky, slightly teasing voice caused him to look back quickly with a small grin. 

He continued, “I think you might be forgetting something,” as his eyes shifted slightly to the left to glance at the bike he fixed, leaning up against the side of the building. 

With a knowing smile, Alec blushed lightly as he remembered how that bike brought them to this point, and now, he couldn't be happier to accept something so wonderful from him. Alec looked back at Magnus to see how pleased he was as he walked towards the bike and hopped on. He waved goodbye as he biked off towards his house, feeling the breeze of summer whip across his smiling face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER: DATE TIME FINALLYYYYYYYY


	7. The Moon's Never Seen  Me Before but I'm Reflecting Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some alone time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends,
> 
> I don't know if I want to intro this chapter, I want to just let you jump in. So by all means, get on in, the water's fine. Also, this is the largest chapter yet, sorry I can't control myself. 
> 
> Thank you again for all the love and support. In the words of Matt Daddario, you are all so lovely. I hope you enjoy this one. 
> 
> Lots of love,  
> Wasabi
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: some alchohol abuse)  
> (The song mentioned at a certain moment and is also the chapter title, is Reflecting Light by Sam Philipps.)

—————————

“Winterson! In my office, right now!” Kevin’s captain at the precinct called out in a voice that boomed over the entire room.

“One second, I just ne—”

“I said NOW.” Kevin sighed in aggravation and annoyance as he closed all his windows of news bulletins for police precincts on the east coast. His APB hadn’t turned up any new information about Alec and his focus at work had completely shifted to this, which was his suspicion about why the captain was calling him into his office. 

Kevin got to the door and closed it behind him as he walk to the chair in front of the desk. Captain was already sitting down, a look of serious disapproval across his features. Without a single word, he picked up a single piece of paper and chucked it towards Kevin. As he looked down at it, he saw the picture he had sent out about Alec, and the description of him being highly dangerous. 

“Do you want to explain this to me?” The captain asked in a stern voice that indicated all feeble answers would not be tolerated. 

“That-that…That was nothing, I was just checking to see..” Kevin fumbled severely over his explanation. His mind had been clouded lately with a fervor of desperation and vodka, driven by his need to find Alec and bring him back to New York immediately. 

“I know you’ve been having to deal with some issues since Alec left, but THIS is not how you do these things. This is fucking insane. Alec is a good guy and putting out an APB like this is a major overreach of your authority.”

“I know, it was a mistake and I apol—“

“What’s in your water bottle, Kevin?” 

That comment made Kevin’s entire body freeze in place as his grasp tightened over the plastic of the bottle. He tried to brush it off, “It’s water.” When the captain asked to smell it, Kevin reluctantly handed it to him and once he got a whiff, his temper flared visibly and berated Kevin about the enormous number of violations he’d broken with his bulletin about Alec and his alcohol abuse. With a harsh tone, Captain announced that he was on unpaid leave and that he needed to turn in his gun and badge. This was a step he was trying to avoid, but his frenzy to find Alec had led him here. 

As he walked out of the precinct, instead of feeling any sense of relief, the alcohol that still lingered in his body caused him to rush back to his apartment, a place that Alec used to share with him. He began to tear the rooms apart, looking for something that he knew was there. In Alec’s stealth rush to leave the city, there’s no way he remembered to grab this. 

He checked all the drawers in ever room until he began to look in the kitchen. Once he opened one of the smallest drawers in the, he saw it: a single gold key attached to a silver key ring. The spare key to Isabelle’s apartment, meant to be used in cases of emergency. However, this was his own kind of emergency and he knew that Isabelle must have some clue in her apartment about where Alec was. 

He sat down in the living room, twirling the key in his fingers as he considered what time he should sneak in and get the information he needed. If he couldn’t use the resources at his job, he would try every possible way to find him.

—————————

Soft music drifted through the house as Alec made an easy, late dinner that Saturday evening. After a long day of working at the restaurant, he was happy to have a quiet night in and try to dispel the mixture of excitement and nervousness about tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Sunday… _’Wonderful, let’s do Sunday afternoon.’_ Those words were ingrained his mind as he felt the hours pass over the past couple days. Though he’d seen Magnus in passing and had quick, yet consistently memorable encounters with him, the idea of spending a day with just him was making him so antsy. But he was excited, despite any lingering doubts that threatened to rob him of all composure. 

After his dinner, he tried to tame his nervousness by reading more of the copy of Frankenstein he’d gotten at the general store. Despite having read it many times before, he was taking his time going through to embrace the story in a new way. This fresh perspective was aided by the large number of underlinings and handwritten notes he’d found throughout the book. From the first page, Alec had noticed that someone who'd clearly read this book before had made several markings about the plot and themes of the story.

He’d always been a fan of classic novels, but it was the curious mixture of mysterious creatures and human emotion in this book that had turned it into one of his favorites. The person who had marked it up clearly understood that too. When he saw familiar lines underlined, he would smile ever so slightly as he traced the pages with his fingers. He came across one of his favorite lines highlighted as he read it over and over again, like it was some kind of meditation: 

_“How mutable are our feelings, and how strange is that clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery!”_

He leaned his head back as he let those words ferment for a moment. He thought about how he muted himself for so long, his true feelings and his true self, and how Kevin was more than encouraging to keep him muted. Then, he thought of Magnus and the misery that life had so unluckily brought him, all the people he cared for and lost. Yet still, he looked upon him like he was some treasure of this earth, like someone he’d never seen before but still understood so deeply. He did everything with love and care, no matter how many times life has tried to beat him down, and it was the most beautiful thing Alec had ever seen. 

He let that line play repeatedly in his head as he closed the book and got ready for bed. As he tucked under the covers that night, he prayed that sleep would come and go quickly so he could see those majestic green and gold eyes even sooner.

—————————

The next day, after a mellow morning and a quick jog to shake off any anxiety, Alec went over to Magnus’s house so he could take them to their date, an undisclosed activity and location that Magnus insisted on keeping a surprise. He’d arrived at his house, across the street from the store and school, just as Magnus was closing the trunk of his SUV and he turned to see Alec coming down the road. Alec tried to dispel that fluttering in his stomach at Magnus’s delighted smile as he saw him approaching.

They got into his car and Magnus drove, fighting off all attempts from Alec to try and decipher where they were going, while Magnus insisted that he sit back and enjoy the beautiful drive there. He turned some soft rock music on the radio as he drove down a sunny road, lined by beautiful trees and the occasional cottage. Alec alternated between taking in the gorgeous landscape and the gorgeous man next to him, wearing black shorts that showed way too much leg muscle to ignore and a short sleeved button down shirt in a silky, deep green, a pair of necklaces framing the tanned skin of his chest. 

Looking for any distraction from his mind wandering, Alec asked, “What are Max and Raf up to today?” This inquiry made Magnus’s already-present smile grow even wider at Alec’s care for his kids, even when he only knew them for a short time. 

“Catarina had the day off today, and she’s been begging me to have some time to spoil them lately. So, I saw a perfect opportunity to make her happy and get my chance to spend alone time with a certain someone,” he replied with a small wink at Alec. 

That familiar warmth rose on Alec’s cheeks and he smiled, “I’m glad that everything could work out so well…..Now, tell me where we’re going.”

Magnus laughed, “Oh Alexander, I’ll need to make note of the fact that surprises are NOT for you. However, I can guarantee you will love it. It’s one of my favorite places in the whole state, possibly even the world.” 

After another 20 minutes minutes of driving, Magnus parked the car in a more wooded area off the road with a small trail leading to somewhere behind thick-branched willow trees. He took a large basket out of the trunk and told Alec to follow him, Alec sticking close behind. They walked for just a few minutes until Magnus pulled back a large branch of a tree to reveal a majestic sight. 

Before them was a large, glistening lake with its shores framed with flowering trees that he’d never seen before, all swaying peacefully in the afternoon breeze as the sun gleamed down to make everything shine. They were standing at the top of a grassy knoll that Magnus led him down until they were sitting just along the patch of grass in front of the lake. There, he set up a large blanket and a delicious picnic spread as Alec just looked upon him in awe, unable to comprehend the beauty he was surrounded by.

“Where are we? This place is amazing.”

That comment from Alec made Magnus smile brightly as he sat down on the blanket, with Alec quickly following. “I’m glad you like it, I wasn’t really sure where to take you but a place with stunning scenery seemed appropriate for a stunning man like yourself. Welcome to Fontana Lake, Alexander.” 

They talked casually for a while as they admired their pristine surroundings and ate the snacks that Magnus had packed, ranging from fig crackers to a tray of cheeses and meats to sandwiches and fruit to a bottle of sparkling wine. There was an itch that he could feel for the conversation to go deeper, driven wild by the endless humming of his body and mind when Magnus was around. However, Magnus’s eyes and body language proved that he was ready to dive in. 

“So, where did you live before you magically wound up in Southport?”

Alec paused for a moment, “Umm…I actually lived in New York, I lived there my whole life. Being here is a massive change of pace.”

“A pleasant one, I hope,” Magnus stated as he smiled, “You know, I used to live in Brooklyn for a while. I went to art school there and worked in art galleries for a while after. There’s no place like it.”  


“Yeah…but I bet you could make the same comment about a place like this.” At that, Magnus smiled softly as he looked closely at him, as if he was trying to decipher what could have made Alec end up here in Southport, as well as right in front of him. He knew the question was coming and he didn't know if he was ready to burst this bubble with Magnus.

“So what happened that you decided to leave?” The question already had so much understanding laced into, something he shouldn’t be surprised by coming from Magnus. He probably never would have left New York if it hadn’t been for Kevin. His family was there and being apart from his siblings is harder than he ever thought. But whatever twist and turn of fate that landed him along this lake next to Magnus, in that moment, he was willing to believe that it was where he needed to be.

“I just needed a clean slate, I-I ended things with an old boyfriend and I just was desperate for new surroundings after that. I lived in the same place my whole life and I thought that was where my home was always supposed to be but now…I'm not so sure. It’s been good to bring myself outside of that old perspective to see what else was out there, what else was—”

“—Waiting for you.” Magnus finishing his words bloomed another blush on Alec’s cheeks as he stared him, seeing the emotion across his face as he took a sip of his wine. He heard Magnus speak again in a much softer tone, perhaps more to himself than to Alec, “…how strange is that clinging love we have of life, even in the excess of misery…” 

Those words struck him like lightning, the words he let swim through his mind fondly the night before, with the exact man in front of him on his mind. An idea sprung into his head and a half-smirk appeared on his face as he announced another line from the book he knew by heart, “Even broken in spirit as he is, no one can feel more deeply than he does the beauties of nature.” Magnus’s head whipped towards him with eyes widened in shock, a beautiful look of delighted surprise across his features.

Magnus smiled and responded, “I knew that was the book you took that day! I tried to find it in the basket a few days after and I realized it wasn’t there. I’m happy to see we have such well-aligned reading tastes. You should grab a new one soon. ” He was beaming with joy as he used the opportunity to scoot closer to Alec, an action that he showed no issue with it.

Alec smiled over at him, “I’ll definitely need to do that,” as he put a grape in his mouth and offered one in his hand to Magnus. As Magnus saw the offering, he smirked devilishly as he leant forward instead of taking it with his hand. Alec swallowed down some nervousness as lifted his fingers to Magnus’s lips as he took a red grape into his mouth, his teeth nipping Alec’s fingers for a small moment. Luckily, Magnus only took one and allowed Alec to recover from that image that would be permanently burned in his brain. 

Their conversation continued with a natural ease as they chatted about the kids, Catarina, Alec’s siblings, art school, Alec’s favorite books, and why Magnus had named his cat Chairman Meow. The sun was less bright now, the number of clouds increasing and blocking the rays. The clouds looked a little darker than usual but Magnus and Alec were so enamored with each other and their perfect setting that neither of them noticed the gray color of the clouds and how the light slowly disappeared until Alec felt the first drop of rain on his face. 

When they both looked up, they saw the sky look completely different from when they got there and they felt the spattering drops of water fall from the sky, definitely at an increasing pace. As the rain began, they packed up their things with a lighthearted urgency and ran back to the car, the water falling in a hurried, heavy fashion once they were safely inside. Magnus’s laughter was so carefree and excited that all Alec could do was smile and stare as he drove back onto the main road.

The rain was coming down in a thick shower so after a few minutes of driving, Magnus pulled up to a roadside diner to wait out the worst of the storm. They got inside quickly and soon realized that they were the only customers there. Magnus said hello to the waitress behind the counter and introduced Alec to Maia, a beautiful young woman with dark skin and tight dark curls framing her smiling face. They sat in a booth and ordered coffee and dessert, still mostly full from their picnic lunch. Their voices were quiet as they spoke, even though there was no one around to hear their lilting words to each other. 

Conversation picked up between them again easily, both eager to discover more about the man sitting across from them. The change of environment and the quiet of their surroundings seemed to ask for more of what they were sharing back and forth. 

Magnus tilted is head slightly to the left, “So, do you think you’ll ever go back to New York?” 

Alec considered his answer carefully for a moment, “No…at least, not anytime soon. I left for the right reasons and I think it’s worth it to take my time.” Alec smirked lightly but his eyes were lined with affection, “I’m pretty happy with where I am at the moment,” as he looked directly at Magnus. 

“I like where you are at the moment, too.” Magnus beamed at him, seemingly thrilled to see that Alec was enjoying himself so much in his presence.

“What about you,” Alec inquired, “do you miss it all? Any chance of going back?”

Magnus looked down at the table for the quickest moment before looking back up, “No, not anymore. This is home now for me. And even more so, it’s not just mine either, I could never uproot the boys like that. After everything they’ve been through, they deserve stability.”

“You’ve done so much for them and it’s absolutely incredible, Magnus. They are lucky to have you.” That comment caused a pensive look to come over Magnus’s face. 

“Interesting…I feel like I would normally say how much they’ve done for me,” he had murmured so quietly that Alec was almost unsure if he’d heard it. He didn’t get to think much further about that as he saw Magnus standing up and walking towards the small radio on the counter. He turned the volume dial up as a soft acoustic guitar strummed through the walls of the diner, followed by a comforting female voice and gentle violins. It cast a spell over the space they were in, one that kept him entranced as he watched Magnus make his way over and hold out his hand. 

“Dance with me, Alexander.” 

Alec froze. “Here? In the diner?” 

“It’s as good of a time as any, and there’s not a soul around besides Maia, who is probably studying for her college courses in the back. It’s just us.” Magnus took a step closer as his eyes bore into Alec’s. No matter how much of his usual instincts tried to tell him to say no, his heart answered far ahead of him by grabbing Magnus’s hand and let himself be led to the floor between the counters and booths. Their hands stayed interlocked on one side while Magnus gently held Alec’s shoulder and Alec’s hand carefully held Magnus’s waist as he let Magnus guide their bodies in an easy motion. 

The diner wasn't brightly lit and the minimal light from outside helped to produce an evening glow throughout the space they were in, enraptured in a tiny world that only belonged to them. They let the song flow through them, the gentle melody swayed their steps while their eyes hadn’t left each other once. Alec took this moment of comfort as a reminder, a reminder of why he left someone who treated him so horribly. He truly knew that there could be more out there for him, and Magnus was helping him believe it more and more. He still wasn’t sure if he really deserved this, but he was trying to do so.

Breaking him from his thoughts, he felt Magnus’s soft hand brushed along his cheek and against the stubble around his jaw, causing Alec to freeze instantly and stop swaying. He nearly felt his heart stop as he saw Magnus’s gaze on him, those careful fingers stroking his face until he saw Alec’s expression. He mistook the look for some kind of regret or uncertainty, so Magnus immediately withdrew his touch and apologized, even though Alec was more than willing to continue. He was now aware that his actions had told him otherwise, how the flinch he could barely control was not the reaction he meant. Being touched so tenderly like that, by a man who set his heart ablaze, was nothing like he’d ever felt. 

Magnus left his side for a moment to settle the bill with Maia, leaving Alec standing in the same place and paralyzed by the emotion coursing through him, all caused by a single touch from Magnus. How could he prove to him that he was sorry that he froze, that stroke of his cheek was everything he could ever want and ever need? Their date would end soon and he was running out of time to make sure Magnus knew.

—————————

By the time they stepped outside, the rain had reduced itself to a light drizzle and Magnus drove them back toward Southport and Alec’s home to drop him off. He was much quieter on the ride back but still made the occasional comment to break the silence. Alec was far more pensive than he had been on the ride earlier, thinking relentlessly about what he could do that would take that apologetic look off Magnus’s face and get that moment from the diner back.

Magnus drove carefully down the quiet road towards Alec’s house until the small wooden structure appeared in the headlights and Magnus pulled up. Just as Alec was about to say something, he noticed a look of astonishment across Magnus’s face as he got out of the car and continued to stare at the house. Alec got out and came by his side as he watched him be entranced by his current location. 

In a quieter voice, he asked, “This…this is where you live?”

Slightly confused by this sudden inquiry, he confirmed yes and that Catarina made a deal with him for the spot as long as he apparently ‘breathed new life into the old place.’ That answer made Magnus chuckle lightly, followed by a small smile as he touched the wood of the porch railing. He looked like he was remembering something and Alec was all ready to ask him until Magnus turned back towards him and his caring expression across stunning features threatened to steal his breath again. 

But with apologetic eyes, his shoulder swayed as he dropped his head momentarily, “I’m sorry again, Alexander, if I made you uncomfortable at the diner. I shouldn't push everyone into dancing when I’m usually the only one who enjoys it.”

“I enjoyed it,” he replied with certainty, trying to convey his emotions to help him understand. 

However, much to Alec’s dismay, Magnus apologized again, because he was surely the most respectful man Alec had ever known. Just as he turned toward his car and passed by Alec, some imaginary force guided by his heart moved his hand forward. Alec grabbed his forearm with his large hand and pulled him back towards him, he lets that hand slide down his arm to link with Magnus’s, while his other hand gently comes up to cup Magnus’s face with those enchanting eyes that he couldn't stop getting lost in. Magnus turned back toward him with a look of surprise across his features, but his demeanor showed that he was open to whatever would happen next. The gravity of every small touch and look between them lately seemed to be pulling towards this moment in time as Alec embraced every second of this closeness. 

It’s a feeling, a connection, a peace that he never wanted to forget. 

His thumb lightly grazed Magnus’s cheekbone and followed the path of his jawline towards his soft lips, their edges speckled with stubble that provided a striking contrast. As he stroked his face and moved slightly closer, he felt Magnus take a deep breath that culminated in a look filled with softness and excitement, as if he knew exactly what would happen next, but he still waits. 

Of course he does, Alec thought, because this incredible man had been nothing but extraordinary to him. Now, it was up to Alec to make the final decision. However, to convey further that this is what he’d been hoping for all day, Magnus wrapped his free arm around Alec’s waist. He let his hand lightly trace his spine as he held him closer, until there was no space left between their bodies despite the minuscule distance between their faces. 

With a growing determination in his darkened hazel eyes, his body pushed himself forward and Magnus stepped back with it. This continued until Alec’s hand softly hits the large tree just in front of his house, protecting the back of Magnus’s head just in time as he leaned back onto the trunk. He pressed his forehead closer, anything really, to breathe some of the air that Magnus breathes and to feel his ever-present light deep inside of his bones. Magnus took a shaky breathe that was followed with the gentlest smile, one that offered every bit of assurance Alec needed to press their lips together at last.

The electricity that’s ignited between them all day surged wildly, confirmed with the small gasp of pleasure he heard escaped from Magnus’s lips. It urged Alec forward, his lips moving more gently at first, then pushing firmer against Magnus as he opened his mouth to him. The hand holding Alec’s unlinked itself so Magnus could grab a bunch of Alec’s shirt as he dragged him even closer, his momentary smile breaking their kiss with a quick laugh. The sound of Magnus’s voice chuckling was ragged and breathless, a major depart from his usual velvet but it did not fail to send chills down Alec’s spine. He wasted no time to kiss him again and let himself become deeply consumed. 

Magnus’s other hand slid from Alec’s back to his front as he wrapped his muscular arm around Alec’s neck, as if to confirm that those lips weren’t leaving his anytime soon. Alec wanted to hold him even closer, to feel the certainty of his touch through every inch of him as the feel of his mouth surrounded him in a blissful haze. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’s waist, leaning him back against the tree so he can feel all of his body aligned with his own. 

With a sudden flash of confidence and pressing need for this man, Alec moved his hands down to his thighs as he hoisted him up and held all of him in his arms, as a delighted gasp escaped from Magnus’s lips. Despite his height and incredibly toned body, Alec lifted him with ease as Magnus wrapped his strong legs around his waist. Alec then pushed him back against the tree trunk as he deepened the kiss, his breath erratic as their tongues explored each other. He heard the smallest moans and hums coming from Magnus and it only furthered his passion, aided by the miraculous feeling that he was making someone as incredible as Magnus feel so good. He could be happy doing that for a very long time. 

Magnus ran his hands through Alec’s hair, causing the nerve endings by his brain to go manic. Magnus bit hit bottom lip gently before letting his lips trail down Alec’s jaw and neck. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he felt Magnus’s lips on his tender skin, but Magnus had not wasted much time before returning to Alec’s kiss-bruised lips with a small smile.

After an eternity, one that they would have been happy to stay in, their lips began to slow and their touches became more languid and lazy as Alec slowly lowered Magnus from his hold and back onto the ground. He stepped back just slightly, but let his hands relish in the feel of his arms before they made their way down to interlock their fingers. Magnus looked directly at him, his expression a melding mix of astonishment and bliss, as he whispered over the nighttime sounds of the forest, “You never cease to amaze me, Alexander.” 

“You’re one to talk,” Alec replied with a half-smirk as his eyes shone with affection at the man in front of him. “I, uh, I sort of want to ask you to stay…”

Magnus stepped forward until he was directly in front of him, with one hand softly placed over his heart, “Let’s hold off for tonight. I have to go home to the boys anyways. Also, I’m quite enjoying the idea of not rushing with you, you’re well worth the wait.” 

Alec was unsure if he’d ever get used to Magnus’s compliments, given with a generosity and honesty that made him blush furiously, yet believe every word he said. He let his other hand trail up Alec’s chest as they both grabbed fistfuls of his t-shirt as he gently tugged him forward, kissing him one last time but with all the affection he could. Alec gave in happily as he wrapped his arms around his waist again, memorizing every detail of the closeness between them. All too soon, Magnus pulled away. 

“Come by the school and see me tomorrow?”

Alec smirked back, “How does before AND after I go to work sound?” 

"Perfect." This eagerness to not be apart from Magnus made him smile wickedly as he kissed Alec’s lips one more time before separating their bodies. 

“Good night, Alexander.” 

“Good night, Magnus.” Alec watched him get in his car and drive off with a final wave as he then walked back into his home.

—————————

Alec crawled under the covers in a blissful state, letting the soft cotton brush over his body as his head swam with replaying memories of the day. Soon enough, they lulled him into a peaceful sleep, with no nightmare daring to tread into his mind all night long. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♥


	8. Dare to Move, Dare to Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin gets closer to finding Alec, while Alec and Magnus share a special evening together.
> 
> \---  
> (CW: Kevin being a bit crazy; some mature intimacy; small mentions of alcohol abuse, physical abuse, past death, forced closeting)
> 
> Chapter Title is from Where Do We Go From Here? by Ruelle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE! ♥
> 
> Friends....I'm so sorry. I have gone so far overboard with this chapter. 7k words, at least double any previous chapter. I'm sorry but when I have Magnus and Alec together in a scene, I can't stop writing. There's also a particular scene that got so far out of hand (can you guess what it could be?)
> 
> That leads into my second thing....this is my first time writing anything intimate like that and it was a real challenge but I think I did a decent job. I tried to make sure it was passionate and respectful and well-represented (practicing safe sex, no top/bottom discourse). I apologize if it's hard to follow but I tried ahhhh. 
> 
> This chapter is a monster but a beautiful one. Also, the intensity and angst is going to increase the next couple chapters. I also finally decided on 12 chapters total so 4 more to go. Thank you so much for sticking with me and all the love, I appreciate it so much. Love this lovely fandom so much.

———————————

That Monday morning when Alec went to work, Catarina gave him a knowing smirk when he saw the smile plastered all over his face. He’d been in an incredible mood since he kissed Magnus, consistently replaying the memory in his mind until he’d memorized every detail. Catarina teased him and said he was glowing, apparently almost as much as Magnus since she saw him that morning. Alec blushed furiously at that, underlaid by the immense happiness that Magnus was thinking about him too.

The week following their date, Magnus and Alec seamlessly found ways to see each other and fit into each other’s lives. They mostly spent their time with Rafael and Max, which Alec was more than happy to do. Max was already quite smitten with him, but he was happy to spend more time with Raf and understand him more. He was definitely quieter than his brother but he was also thoughtful, caring, and incredibly smart. Though they were adopted, he could see reflections of Magnus in both children and it never ceased to make him smile. 

One night, they all made pizzas at Magnus’s house for dinner. Another afternoon, Magnus came by the restaurant to spend Alec’s lunch break with him, showing no shame in kissing him passionately in front of his coworkers. Another night, they took the kids to the county fair where the boys were beside themselves when Alec won prizes for them. 

Despite being around his kids, Magnus wasn’t shy about showing his affection, holding him close and kissing him every chance he got. It’s something that came so naturally to him and Alec could feel all apprehension fade quickly. Magnus cared for people so fiercely and it made Alec want to show his affection just as passionately. 

He felt completely new, but also entirely like himself. He felt more at home, inside and out, than he’d ever been. He knew that his problems weren't solved, but at this moment in time, he felt free.

———————————

_New York_

Cars honked and city sounds surrounded Kevin as he stood across the street from Isabelle’s apartment building, watching carefully for her daily departure. He stood slightly behind a newsstand to be certain that he wouldn’t be seen on accident as he waited with faltering patience for her to leave.

He’d been observing her movements for the past couple days to determine the best time to get inside her apartment. He considered confronting her with more hostility but he decided that a better plan to find Alec would be to look for clues at her place. If that failed, he would likely return to the hostility idea. He’d watched her husband Simon leave about an hour ago and he shifted his feet slightly as he got exasperated at waiting. He wanted to make his move.

At that moment, he watched Isabelle emerge with a phone by her ear as she rushed out of the building and down into the subway at the end of the block. He waited an extra five minutes but once he deemed it was safe, he crossed the street and entered the building with a group of people that kept him hidden from the doorman. He sprinted up the stairs and down the hall until he finally ended up at her door, fishing the spare key from his pocket and opening the door.

The apartment was quiet, the only noise being the muffled sounds of the city in the background, as Kevin quickly started to look around for clues. He filed through Isabelle’s mail and looked through the bedroom for any clue about Alec’s whereabouts but he couldn't find anything. He even opened up her computer and looked if there were anything in particular in her email but there was nothing. 

He got increasingly frustrated as he ran his hands through his hair and reentered the living room. His eyes suddenly caught sight of the phone on the entry table and he went up to the voicemail machine. He clicked a few buttons to find the saved messages and listened closely.

The first was someone from her work asking a question, then another was from someone named Clary saying to meet her somewhere. He slammed his hand on the table in anguish as the beeping sound for the next message came on. Just as he felt like he would never find anything to help him, the voice he hadn’t heard in weeks came onto the machine. 

_“Hey, it’s me. I want you to know that I'm safe, I’m in a really good place. I miss you a lot and I’ll be in touch with you soon but for now, please know that I’m okay. More than okay, I promise. I'll contact you again soon once stuff has died down.”_

The beep that ended the message rang through the quiet apartment as a slow smile crept onto Kevin’s face. 

Finally. 

Finally, he got a real lead to where Alec was. Of course he would call Isabelle and tell him where he is. He should’ve checked in Isabelle’s place sooner.

But how could Alec be in a good place? That was insane. He needed to be here with him, and he would get him back here, no matter what it took. He listened to the message again and wrote down the number that popped up on the machine. It had a 910 area code and a quick search on his phone showed it belonged to North Carolina. 

It seemed like Alec hadn’t gone down to Atlanta but stopped somewhere along the way. Now, Kevin was determined to get down to North Carolina and find him. He left the building, went to his car, and started to drive, not even bothering to stop at home for anything before getting on the interstate. He probably could’ve gotten on a plane but the idea of driving provided him the illusion of more control. 

He wasn’t entirely sober but clear-minded enough to drive. With each mile that passed, his reasonable mindset faded further and further as the pressing need to get Alec back become more fierce. Soon enough, he’d find him.

———————————

A swift knock at Alec’s door caught his attention as he lowered the heat of the pans on the stove to get the door. A massive smile was on his face because he already knew who it was. He opened it and saw Magnus standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, with a grinning face and muscular arms carrying two large bags.

“Hey, you.” Alec leaned forward to give him a quick kiss, but it easily morphed into a lingering one as Magnus leaned forward before walking into the house. 

“Hello, darling. It smells delicious in here. What meal are you spoiling me with tonight?” 

Alec chuckled, “We’re having my favorite: lamb risotto. It’ll go great with that wine that I'm sure you brought with you.” 

Magnus set his bags on the table in the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of red wine, confirming Alec’s statement. “That sounds incredible, and also seems like a good meal to get us through the tireless painting we’re doing tonight.” 

The idea for tonight’s evening came mostly from Magnus, but it all started when Alec offered a night in so he could cook him dinner, eager to do something he loved for Magnus. They were at the art school at the time, while Alec looked over some of his sketches and found a few that he really liked. He watched as an idea popped into Magnus’s head as he suggested that he spice up the Carolina Blue walls of his house with some extra artwork, done by him. He looked so excited at the idea that Alec wouldn’t have begun to deny him. So he said yes, thrilled at how happy it made Magnus. That was why he was over now, carrying two bags filled with brushes and small paint cans in nearly every color possible.

“You still haven’t confirmed which drawing you want to put on the wall, or do you want to just let me go mad?” Magnus smirked at him, while holding out the three drawings he’d been looking at the day before. 

Alec glanced at them again and tried to decide, but his eyes landed on a drawing of an archer’s silhouette, with a medley of abstract shapes and swirls coming out of the tip of the arrow. It was the first one that caught his eye the day before so he made his decision. “This one. You can add whatever you want to it, I trust you.”

Magnus smiled at how decisive he was in picking what he liked, but also at the trust he instilled in him at letting him do something so personal. “Perfect. I’ll start tracing the outline onto the wall while you finish dinner. I can’t wait for this delectable meal.” 

Alec beamed back at him as he wrapped an arm around his waist and brought him closer, kissing him soundly on the mouth as Magnus gave in. They continued for another minute or so before Magnus ended the mini-makeout with a chaste kiss and patted his chest. “Let’s get this stuff done, then we can get to the painting…and more of that.” He winked at Alec as he headed over the empty wall in between the kitchen and living room. 

He couldn’t hide his smirk as he returned to the pans on the stove and finished preparing their dinner, the inviting smell wafting through the house. He occasionally glanced over at Magnus, who had put on some soft jazz music and proceeded to the wall to outline the drawing. Alec admired him from afar as he watched his focused expression as he worked. It was something he’d noticed when he got to watch him paint at his house the other night, perfectly capturing the sunset-colored sky before them. He could see the passion teeming from his eyes and guiding every stroke of his hand. What a wonder he was. 

“If you keep looking at me like that, Alec, we may never get to sprucing up this wall.”

“Would that really be so bad?”

Magnus laughed out loud, throwing his head back as Alec stared at his Adam’s apple. “Definitely not but I’d hate to put aside that lovely dinner you’re making.” After finishing the preliminary design, he made his way into the kitchen to open the wine bottle and pour them both glasses. Alec turned down the heat for the main pan to let it stay warm as he took the glass Magnus handed to him. The wine was slightly sweet and tasted delicious.

A few minutes later, their dinner was ready and Alec plated it up as they moved to the couch in the living room to eat, mainly so they could be close to each other. 

One mouthful of the meal caused Magnus to moan loudly in delight. “Alexander, this is incredible! Who knew you were such a master in the kitchen?” 

Seeing the happiness on his face made Alec smile with pride. “Thanks, I’m glad you like it. I was pretty nervous about cooking for you, to be honest. I did it for my siblings a lot, but it’s always an experience when you do it for someone new.” 

“I’m honored,” Magnus replied with a wink as he scooted closer to Alec, sipping from his wine glass after he did. They sat and ate while they talked with comfort and familiarity, one that seemed impossible for two people who have known each other for such a short amount of time. But Alec knew that meant nothing to them, the feeling between them was strong and constantly growing. Once they finished their meals, they put away their dishes and Magnus got the painting supplies ready as Alec refilled their wine glasses before making his way over. Magnus looked like he was bursting with excitement to get started. 

“I can almost guarantee you that I won’t be good at this, so I recommend giving me the simplest task possible. I’ll leave the creative flair up to you.” 

That compliment of his ability made Magnus radiate with affection at Alec. “Fair enough. I drew the outline for the archer so I’ll have you fill that in with this gray color and I’ll get started on the colorful bits by the arrow.” Magnus set down his wine glass near the speaker playing music so he could turn up, then rolled up the sleeves of his sheer light blue buttoned shirt, showing off his strong forearms to Alec. 

Alec took the brush handed to him as he started to paint the archer silhouette that Magnus had drawn, as Magnus took a different brush and began drawing abstract swirls in reds and oranges. That focus in his eyes returned and Alec had to remind himself not to stare. That was especially difficult when Magnus occasionally pressed his chest to his back while guiding his brush strokes, nuzzling his head into his neck as Alec felt the tingle of the red wine start to warm his body.

They fell into an enjoyable rhythm of painting, talking, Magnus singing along to the music playing, and Alec admiring the man next to him. As he watched how blissful he seemed doing the thing he loved most, Alec asked, “I—I don’t think I’ve asked this yet, but how did you end up being an artist?”

He watched Magnus pause momentarily in his movement as he looked over at Alec, taking a deep breath. Alec waited, realizing that there was some weight to the words about to be spoken.

“It’s not the easiest story, or the happiest, really. Art has always been my escape and my comfort. I was born in Indonesia, where my mom was an artist as well. I never met my real father but my stepfather was awful. He got drunk and gambled a lot, and always blamed my mom for not having a ‘real job,’ while he lazed around all day. His drinking got worse and he started to take it out on my mom and one day…he took it too far. He went to jail and I got sent to family in the States.” Magnus held back a sob at the memory while he kept painting. Alec came over to him and wrapped himself around him from behind. 

“I’m so sorry, Magnus.” 

He lowered his head slightly as he stopped painting and turned around in Alec’s arms. “Thank you. My mom taught me from the day I could hold a pencil in my hand. I remember watching her paint and being mesmerized by how she could bring images to life with her hand. It was like magic. Living my life as an artist is my way of keeping her memory alive forever.” Magnus breathed in deeply, then let all that breath escape his lips. “Her soul is in every single thing I create, I wouldn’t be the person I am without her love.” 

“Well, I guess I have her to thank for having such an amazing son.” Magnus smiled in response and pecked Alec on the lips before untangling them to get back to painting. Alec continued filling in the archer outline but snuck a glance at Magnus to see a thoughtful look over his features as he seemed to be lost as he painted. Wanting to take away any sadness from what he felt before, Alec smiled coyly as he took his paintbrush to swipe some paint onto Magnus’s forearm, rendering him with shock. 

“What do you think you’re doing, Alec?” Despite his response, his expression stated that he wasn’t the least bit bothered, a devilish smirk on his beautiful face. He reached out his own brush and swiped an orange brushstroke on Alec’s cheek, making him grin. Alec followed by dipping his brush in the red and drawing a line down Magnus’s neck, which Magnus met with a long stroke down his whole arm. This continued back and forth for a few minutes, both men laughing as they took in the increasing stripes of paint on the other. It was a moment between just them without a care in the world.

It was Alec who finally surrendered after about a dozen paint marks were placed on his arms, neck, face, and legs. Magnus relished in his victory, his body similarly marked up with different paint colors. They returned to the task at hand and kept painting together for another hour as they drank more wine and Magnus danced along to the music playing. 

When they had finally finished, both men stepped back to take in the work they’d accomplished together. Though it looked similar to the original drawing, Magnus’s improvisation with the abstract parts blew Alec away and the final product was poignant and colorful. Alec wrapped an arm around Magnus’s shoulders and kissed the side of his head. “It’s amazing. Thank you so much for doing this.” 

“Thank YOU for trusting me with the walls of your house. I can’t imagine many people agreeing to that.” Magnus leaned into Alec’s shoulder before looking back into his eyes with a peaceful smile. “I have to admit, the wall isn’t the only thing that looks great in a slew of colors.”

Alec laughed, “Yeah, we made a bit of a mess of ourselves. We should probably clean up.” But Magnus was already two steps ahead of him as he walked over to the kitchen sink to wet a small towel. He hastily wiped the marks on his face and arms before he walked back over to Alec and started to wipe the paint marks on his face first. After, he moved the towel down to clean his neck.

“You know…this would probably be a lot easier if this pesky shirt of yours wasn’t in the way.” Magnus tilted his head to the side as he winked at Alec, clearly joking but Alec knew that there was a layer of want in his statement. 

“Very well then,” Alec stated plainly as he pulled his t-shirt over his head in a swift motion, tossing it onto the couch. He tried not to blush or squirm under the intensity of Magnus’s gaze but the look he saw in his eyes made his knees weak. Alec knew he was treading into a territory that he’d dreamed of a lot lately. 

He trusted Magnus, so deeply that it scared him. But it was the type of fear that he didn't want to run away from but conquer because he knew how worthwhile it would be. To care for someone so fearlessly, especially a man like Magnus, was worth tearing down every wall in his mind. 

Magnus’s eyes had drifted below his face for quite a while so Alec cleared his throat mockingly to get his attention. Magnus perked back up and looked him in the eye, “Apologies. I was just shamelessly admiring the impeccable body in front of me.” 

“Hey…no compliments like that while I’m shirtless because you’ll see me blush in more places than my face.” 

“That sounds like a challenge that I graciously accept, Alexander.” He lifted the towel back up to his neck and cleaned the paint marks that were more easily exposed now. He continued until all of the marks had disappeared from Alec’s body and Magnus looked slightly sad that the task of touching Alec was over. 

Despite there being no more paint on Alec’s body, Magnus continued to stroke a cleaned spot on his chest with gentle touches. There was an undeniable heat between them in this moment, one that seemed to make Magnus look dazed and Alec’s mind to be fuzzy with desire. 

Every touch by Magnus was so soft that Alec couldn’t help to think of how another man in his life once touched him very differently, in a way meant to scar him. He claimed it was all a part of his love, that he did things out of aggression because he cared so much. But deep down, Alec knew it was wrong. 

Now, he thought maybe, he could have this tenderness, this languid heat that laced every touch and look between them. 

He was broken from his thoughts as he felt Magnus’s lips on his warm skin, at the place where his heart was. Magnus let his breath drift on his surface for a moment before continuing a trail of kisses across his collarbone and along his shoulders. Alec sucked in a breath at how good everything felt, better than he ever could’ve imagined it to be. He felt intoxicated as he stumbled from the weakness in his lower body, threatening his ability to stand. That small stumble caused Magnus to wrap his arms around his waist as he gently nudged Alec backwards, pushing him against the wall opposite of the one they just painted. Alec was grateful for the support from both the wall and now Magnus’s body pressed firmly against his own, as he brought his forehead against Alec’s with a shaky breath.

While he observed Magnus gain his composure before making another move, Alec watched him carefully and memorized every detail of his face. He used the closeness as an opportunity to hold his waist firmly, feeling the hard muscle underneath his sheer shirt and it suddenly seemed so unfair that he was the only one shirtless.

Magnus opened his eyes and Alec was taken back by the intensity he saw in them. It wasn’t one that was intimidating because it was an intensity of affection and desire that made his insides coil and he let out a gasp at the sheer beauty of it. Without another moment of hesitation, Magnus pushed forward and kissed Alec hard on the mouth, conveying every emotion he had just witnessed in those eyes. 

Alec let out a soft moan at the taste of Magnus mixing with red wine, with the smell of sandalwood lingering on his skin. He felt drunk from his kiss and he hoped this feeling would never end. The hands on Magnus’s waist slid to the front of his body and grazed the buttons of his shirt. Alec pulled back slightly from the kiss, just enough to ask permission with his eyes if this was what he wanted. The warm smile Magnus gave in return was all the answer he needed. Alec’s long fingers slowly opened up each button as Magnus watched him carefully, sliding the soft shirt off his shoulders so he could finally touch all of this beautiful, tanned skin. Despite his hands shaking slightly with excitement, Alec leaned back against the wall so he could take in the majestic sight before him. 

His hands stroked his perfectly sculpted torso before encircling the bulging muscles of his upper arms, touching every inch of skin he could uncover. As Alec continued his exploration, Magnus brought his face into his shoulder and placed lazy, open kisses on every ridge. Alec leaned his head to the side to kiss his temple, causing Magnus to look back at him with unwavering desire. 

Alec spoke but his voice trembled over every word, the heat of this moment robbing him of all coherence. “Please…Please, tell me you can stay tonight. I want you here so badl—”

Magnus pressed a finger to his lips, stopping the rest of the sentence in its tracks. “Yes, I can stay. The boys are with Catarina tonight, and this is the only place I want to be.” 

The tenderness in his voice was maddening and Alec felt his composure rip in half as his face lunged toward Magnus to capture his lips again. Magnus responded immediately and pushed his body firmly against the wall while slipping his hot tongue in Alec’s mouth to taste him even more. Alec moaned again but much louder than before, the tingling in his body turned to an electric current. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’s neck to pull his mouth as close as possible while Magnus grabbed his waist firmly and traced his stomach with his fingers, Alec’s muscles to contracting from the touch. 

Alec was so lost in tasting Magnus that he hadn't felt him slide his hands down to his ass but immediately groaned when he felt him grasp firmly. Magnus smiled against his lips at the reaction, delighting in every noise that Alec emitted. He leaned his head back against the wall, allowing Magnus the opportunity to kiss and nip at the delicate skin of his neck. Alec’s eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy when he suddenly felt his rear being grasped and himself being lifted up. He yelped out loud and tightened his grip around Magnus’s neck, as well as wrapped his legs around his waist. The noise made Magnus laugh out loud, Alec smiling at the look of joy on his face. 

He’d always been a bit of a giant and never saw himself as the kind of person who could be lifted up so easily. But as Magnus just did it to him, he decided he loved how this felt. Magnus held onto him with care and it was the most steady feeling he’d ever felt. 

“I hope you didn’t think you were the only one who could lift a man up, Alexander.” He smirked as he started to walk slowly towards Alec’s bedroom, his strong arms grasping his legs and waist. 

“Maybe…but I should've known better, especially with these,” as Alec brought his hands down to his biceps, feeling the hardness there and getting more excited by the second. Magnus walked them through the doorway of his bedroom and he sat on the side of the bed, putting Alec in his lap facing him. Alec loosened his hold around his neck so he could cradle Magnus’s face in his hands, kissing him senseless. Magnus rubbed his thighs tenderly as his mouth moved slowly but with purpose, relishing the taste of Alec. Alec let his hands drift down over his shoulders and down his back, feeling every peak and valley of hard muscle. 

Gravity took over as he pushed Magnus back onto the bed and laid his body on top, letting his mouth create a trail across as he moved lower down his chest to his stomach. As the breath from Magnus became more erratic and shallow, Alec smirked to himself. How did he get so lucky, to be intimate with this man and make him feel this way?

He kept kissing until he felt Magnus nudge at him to get up off the bed, so he pulled back and stood, facing a now-seated Magnus. His hair was wild and his eyes emanated with excitement, as he grew harder in anticipation. He smoothed his hands over Alec’s torso and then rested them at the top of his pants, hesitating for just a moment. 

“You’re sure, right? You truly want this?” 

Alec almost laughed, wondering how could he think that he wouldn’t. But as he gazed down at Magnus, he saw traces of vulnerability in his gaze that he wanted to admonish, now and forever. He brought a hand up to hold his face, feeling his stubble graze his skin. 

“More than anything.” 

The smile on his face crept back slowly as Alec leaned down to kiss him softly, conveying as much reassurance as he possibly could. After a few seconds of that, he felt Magnus’s hands undo his belt buckle and the fastening of his pants until they loosened and fell to the ground. He stepped out of them and watched as Magnus bit his lower lip while he gazed upon the noticeable bulge in his boxers. He wrapped his arms around the lower part of his waist and pulled him closer, pressing wet, hungry kisses to the skin at his stomach, making Alec groan loudly at the sensation. 

Wanting to be as comfortable as possible, he pushed Magnus back slightly so he could make work of his pants. He quickly undid the buckle and zipper while Magnus leaned on his elbows, looking up at him. His pants took a couple extra tugs to get off due to how tight they were, a hearty laugh coming from Magnus as he fumbled with them. He got them to his ankles and pulled them all the way off but before crawling back to Magnus, he latched his fingers onto the waistband of his tight red briefs and pull them down slowly. He tossed them to the side then took in the glorious sight before him: Magnus, with all of his dark, smooth skin in front of him, his thick penis jutting out with hardness from his hips, and his eyes intense as they gazed back at him. 

Alec breathed in deeply as he memorized every detail of this moment, reveling in how lucky he felt and how happy he was. But there were nerves present too, tinged with vulnerability that badgered his mind to not mess this up.

Magnus sat up straight and reached a hand to touch his front, his green and gold orbs looking at him with all the affection in the world. “Alexander, are you okay?” His voice was delicate and comforting, taking all the pressure out of his body. “Remember, there’s no rush. I’m not going anywhere.” 

The statement made Alec smile as he put his hands on his broad shoulders and kissed him soundly. He felt Magnus’s hands fiddle with the waistband of his boxers before slowly pulling them down and freeing them of all remaining garments. This realization that they were both bare to each other in the quiet of the night surged Alec forward as he climbed onto the bed and on top of Magnus. The ridges of his body slotted against those of Magnus; they fit together so perfectly. 

They kissed wildly as their hands explored each other, memorizing the places that the other’s breath caught or they’d hear a moan emitted. Both were maddeningly hard as their arousal for each other increased their passion. Magnus grabbed hold of Alec’s hips as he flipped them over, straddling his body and leaning his head back down to place another kiss on his heart before mouthing a path down his body. Alec whimpered as his lips reached the top of thighs, followed by a small nip of the tender skin there. The noises coming from Alec made Magnus chuckle in a low, husky tone as he continued his trail towards his inner thigh, dangerously close to the destination Alec was desperately craving. 

His lips against his body were wet and slow, proving to Alec that there was truly no rush and Alec felt the world stand still. Magnus brought his lips closer to his length as he gently licked his way up to the top before engulfing him with the warmth of his mouth, making all coherence in Alec’s mind disappear as he moaned loudly. 

Magnus continued as he locked his eyes with Alec, licking and sucking with a passionate fervor while Alec felt his hips jut upwards. Just when Alec felt so close to the edge, he gently tugged at Magnus’s hair to pull him back upwards, connecting their lips with a bruising kiss as he held his hard body close to his. He could taste drops off himself on Magnus’s tongue and it only made him hungrier to have more of this beautiful man.

He trailed his hand down to Magnus’s length and grasped him firmly. He began to pump his hand as Magnus buried his head in his shoulder while groaning loudly. “Oh god, Alexander.”

Hearing him moan his name in that completely wrecked voice drove him mad and he knew it was a voice that could make him do anything he wanted. He continued his motion as he used the drops of liquid to moisten his cock, creating more slickness with his hand. He could hear Magnus’s breath become more frenzied as he sloppily kissed the skin around his clavicle. 

In an effort to save their stamina for what he hoped was next, he slowed his hand’s motion as he angled his head back to kiss him slowly. He felt the moist softness of his lips and it drove Alec mad. He separated their mouths for a moment as he looked back in his eyes. 

“Do you have anything?” Magnus inquired. 

Alec looked sheepish as he responded. “I don’t, sorry. I wasn’t really anticipating this when I moved here. I’m so sorry, we don’t have t—” 

Magnus smirked and stopped his rambling with a chaste kiss before proceeding to get off the bed, “Don’t worry, I do.” He rose from the bed and escaped to the living room for a moment before returning with a small bottle and a condom. 

“Were you that sure you would get lucky?”

“My dear Alexander, I could never have imagined I would get this lucky.” He crawled back onto the bed and over Alec’s body as he gave him a languid kiss, heat rising to Alec’s cheeks from the honesty he delivered that statement with. He kissed him back with all the passion he could. 

“Tell me what you want, Magnus.” He used his nose nudge lightly at his face as he asked, kissing his features beyond his lips. He watched as Magnus regarded him closely, his eyes twitched across his face as he smiled a brilliant smile. His hands travelled to Alec’s back as they grabbed the flesh at his ass and squeezed firmly. 

“I want you…all of you.”

“You have me.”

After another soft kiss, Magnus grabbed the bottle of lube as Alec laid on his back. He slicked up his fingers and spread Alec’s thighs on the bed, teasing his wet finger at the tip of his entrance. The slightest touch of his finger caused a loud moan to spill out of Alec, causing Magnus to smile wildly before he slipped the whole finger inside him. 

He went slowly as he prepared him, sliding in one after the next while curling them to touch Alec in his most sensitive place. Alec’s spine arched at the feeling, the biting of his lip doing little to mask the noises he made. Once he was ready, Magnus kissed his hip gently before proceeding to put on the condom and position himself at Alec’s entrance. 

“Wait.” Alec sat up and nudged Magnus slightly so he was in a sitting position, his legs slightly bent and facing Alec. He moved until he was straddling his lap and prepared to let Magnus inch inside of him. He looked him in the eye, hoping that he could see how affected he was in this moment. “I want to be as close to you as I can for this.”

That simple statement, said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, cued a softness that spread through his features as he held Alec’s hips and pushed into him slowly. He kept going until he was deep inside and Alec felt utterly complete. They froze in that instance as Alec adjusted to the feeling, one that he wanted to relish in forever. His face was mere centimeters from Magnus as he gazed into his eyes, inspecting their unbelievable hues in the night’s darkness. As his body relaxed more, he gave him a firm kiss on the lips, connecting their minds and bodies in every possible way.

They began to move together as their hips joined and rose up in a fluid rhythm, their arms wrapped tightly around each other as every bit of skin touched. Alec chanted Magnus’s name like it was a prayer as his body felt like fire, completely consumed by the warmth running through him. The moans and mutterings of Alec’s name grew louder as Magnus pressed their foreheads together. They gradually quickened their pace, Magnus’s length hitting the bundle of nerves inside of him that made him see stars. 

“Yes, Magnus…please.” He gave a broken moan as he felt Magnus’s hand wrap around his cock tucked in between them, matching the pace of his motion with the rhythm of their bodies. They continued relentlessly until they were panting into each other’s lips. 

The slickness and speed of Magnus’s hand on him while buried deep inside of him drove him over the edge as his release hit him fiercely, spurting out onto Magnus’s hand. The sight along with a hard kiss from Alec caused Magnus to emit a final groan as he spilled into Alec, his arm encircling even tighter around his waist before it relaxed. 

They stayed wrapped in each other as their hearts returned to their normal pace, breaths regaining their steadiness. They kept their foreheads against each other as Alec slowly opened his eyes and smiled as he saw how blissfully exhausted Magnus looked, knowing that his appearance was probably the same. 

Magnus lifted a hand to brush some hair out of his eyes before speaking. “Wow.” 

His breath was still quite uneven as he spoke, “Wow…is right.” 

“That was incredible.” 

“You’re incredible.”

He titled his head fondly before he kissed Alec’s lips lightly and whispered, “As are you, Alexander.” 

They untangled their bodies as Alec got a towel to clean them up before he crawled back into bed, He laid on his side with Magnus opposite to him, their bodies perfectly aligned. They kept their faces close and their legs intertwined as arms wrapped gently around each other, neither of them wanting any significant distance between them. 

Alec’s body was tired but his mind was reeling, particularly when Magnus placed his hand on his chest and close to his heart. How long had it been since he’d been in this place? How did he end up somewhere so wonderful while escaping something so horrible? He felt so lucky but still had an inkling of uncertainty in his mind about his safety. 

Could he stay here with Magnus? How long would it take for his past to catch up with him? The safety he felt at this moment was the most sheer bliss he’d ever experienced and he wished he could stay in these sheets with him forever.

He felt Magnus’s fingers brush across his eyebrow, seemingly trying to rid the anguish that caused it to furrow. “What are you thinking about so intently?” 

Alec sighed deeply as he considered his response. Magnus had shared so much of his heart with him, the stories of his life that had caused him pain and how he overcame them. He hadn’t shared nearly as much with Magnus as he wanted to but it was driven by the consistent fear that nagged him. If he still was in danger, he couldn't live with himself if he put Magnus, or Max and Raf, in the position he was in. But he was at the precipice of something that he wanted so badly and he needed to share something, anything. He needed Magnus to know how much he’s changed him in such a short time. 

“I…I never knew I could have this. I was always confused about who I was growing up and then when I finally figured it out, I felt ashamed. I kept it hidden for so long and thought I would have to hide this part of me forever. It felt like I was living a lie. Then once I got comfortable with it and accepted who I was, ready to share with the people I loved…someone tried to push me back into the place of shame and it brought all that pain back. It seemed like the only way I could have any sort of love was if I hid myself again. It felt so wrong. I…I never knew I could deserve someone like you. Someone who makes me feel complete.” 

He cast his eyes down as his words finished, scared to show the vulnerability that he knew was exposed. He heard Magnus’s steady breathing as he kept his head down until he felt two soft fingers under his chin, gently pushing his head back up to meet Magnus’s eyes. 

When he stared into the green and gold, Alec was taken aback when he saw his eyes filled with tears, while some had escaped and rolled down his cheeks. All he saw was affection and care glistening from them. He smiled slightly as Magnus moved his hand towards his cheek, resting it between the pillow and his face. 

“Alexander,” his voice trembled as he spoke softly over the quiet of night, “It hurts me so much to hear that you’ve thought these things, so let me say this with utmost certainty. You came into my life and unlocked something in me that woke my heart up. I never thought I could feel like this again. It’s all so familiar, yet so new and special.” 

He breathed a shaky inhale before continuing. “I will work tirelessly until you understand something. You, Alexander, deserve this,” as he gestured at the closeness between them. “You deserve the most electrifying love and I intend to be the one who shows you.”

The stunning confession shook Alec to his core as he brought his lips to Magnus’s, surprising himself at the heat and intensity of it. They stayed connected for several moments as they moved just slightly away to gather some oxygen. He felt a few stray tears that escape his eyes.

“I’m falling for you, Magnus. I’m falling so hard.” 

The happiness on Magnus’s face was clear as he spoke those words. He kissed his lips lightly for a final time before he lost himself in the tangle of their bodies. Magnus nuzzled his head in the warmth of his neck, lips close to Alec’s ear as he whispered, “I’m falling for you, too. And I’m enjoying every second of it.” 

Those words rang through his mind as he felt Magnus’s breath become steady against his skin, apparently drifted off to sleep. Alec stayed awake for a few more moments and considered what Magnus told him, that he deserves this and Magnus would prove it so. 

A small fear crept back into his mind…will you still feel that way, Magnus, when you hear everything about why I’m here? When I tell you how I’ve been hurt by love and why I left New York for my own safety? He knew that Magnus was overwhelmingly understanding but that was a lot to handle and he hated the idea of putting any burden on him, a man who has been hurt by life so many times already. He didn’t want to be more pain for him.

He watched him sleep peacefully against him before his own eyelids drooped down. Maybe he did deserve this. He drifted away as his heart beat slowly, peacefulness lingering in the nighttime air around them.

———————————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for all this emotion, but some bad things are on their way.


	9. Got a Fear in My Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danger gets closer to Alec, while he and Magnus remember the pain of their pasts. 
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: mentions of physical and emotional abuse, happens in the italicized part if you want to skip it.)
> 
> Chapter title is from Where's My Love by SYML, that unforgettable song from our Malec songlist. Does anyone still watch 2x18 scenes all the time? *raises both hands eagerly*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves,
> 
> This chapter is an emotional rollercoaster so buckle up. I hope you love it. Also, I know that most of this story had been Alec and Kevins POV but this chapter required a little something more. I'm sorry if it's confusing but it helps with this part of the story. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the incredible support again, I get so happy anytime I see an email about anything related to this. You are all wonderful people, sending you lots of love. Happy reading. 
> 
> Wasabi ♥

——————————

The first traces of sunlight peered through the curtains, but not enough to light the bedroom fully. Small birds cheeped outside and leaves on the trees rustled, melding the sounds into a stream of morning noise.

Those sounds faded into the background however, as heavy breaths and small moans grew louder. In the bed of Alec’s room, Magnus lay beneath him with his hands tracing the lines of his back, nails digging in slightly and releasing a gasp from Alec. He kissed down his neck in response, pushing inside of Magnus deeper as they made love in the quiet of early morning. A blissful sleep was awoken by kisses and touches that quickly grew heated. Not before long, Alec was on top of him, burying himself inside his warmth and hearing him chant his name with passion and reverence. 

He was lost in this moment, letting his mind focus solely on the beautiful man beneath him who held him so tenderly. All the fear he’d ever had seemed so far away.

——————————

_“Hi there! You’ve reached Cat’s Seafood Shanty, home of the best oysters on the East Coast! We’re closed for the next two days but stop by our stand at the 4th of July Festival in beautiful Southport. If you have questions about reservations, please leave a message. Have a good one!”_

The voicemail noise beeped loudly in Kevin’s ear as he slammed his finger against the end call button, grunting in frustration as he did. He was about two hours outside of New York, where a stop to get gas turned into drinking a few beers. Now, he was waiting by his car until he gained enough composure to drive. 

His initial frenzy to get to Alec was paused when he stopped for gas, so he took the time to call the number he’d found on Isabelle’s answering machine. He now had a location of exactly where he was headed, as he typed in the name of the restaurant into his navigation and found directions easily. It was late morning, the day before 4th of July so he wouldn’t be able to get more info from that restaurant. 

Why was Alec calling from a seafood restaurant? Was he hiding out there? He cursed loudly as he got back in his car, frustrated by another bump in this search. He started the car and turned on the directions, furiously getting back on the road to start the journey down south. The roads were busy for the holiday weekend but he knew he’d get there soon, his knuckles tightly squeezed the wheel in anticipation as drove on.

——————————

“Magnus, pay attention!”

“Hmmm? Sorry, Lucian. I’m listening.” 

Luke got up from his desk at the station and smirked at him with a raised eyebrow. “That’s a flat-out lie and you know it. Now, listen. The firework people need to meet with you tomorrow morning so you can show them where to set up. Then, I need….”

Magnus half-listened as he trailed behind him while he walked around the station, explaining more details about the 4th of July festival he was co-organizer of. Magnus knew he should be paying more attention but all he could imagine was Alec’s sleeping head on his chest and those delicious moans of his name last night. He was in a state of bliss that couldn’t be broken. 

“It’s not my first year doing this you know, Luke. I think I can handle it.” He gazed distractedly at the bulletin board just outside of his main office as Luke went to answer the ringing phone. Despite having experienced this festival for several years, enjoying this beautiful day with Alec and his boys ignited a new excitement. 

As his eyes glazed over notices that were pinned atop each other, his heart stopped mid-beat as he saw the corner of a face that he’d been imagining all morning and immediately lifted the surrounding papers to uncover it more. He ripped the paper off the pushpin that held it up, his hand slowed as he brought it right in front of his face. In his hand was a piece of paper with Alec’s face on it. In large letters above, it said “ **Wanted** ** **: Alexander Lightwood, Aggravated Assault, Highly Dangerous.”****

Every silken emotion that lingered from the night before was torn in half as he read the words, completely in shock at what he saw. He was in disbelief that Alec was hiding something like this. How could this be? Is that why he was here in the first place? 

His gaze drifted over his face in the picture, thinking how he watched those eyes flutter open this morning and now they were emblazoned on a wanted poster, saying that he was dangerous and a threat. 

Before he really understood what he was doing, he told Luke that he needed to check on something and he’d be back. He all but ran to his car and drove in the direction towards Alec’s house. 

——————————

Alec was riding his bike into town, about halfway down the quiet, country road as the wind whipped past his face. He breathed in deeply, letting the fresh air fill his lungs and brush past the smile he wore. His morning had been perfect and he could hardly wait to see Magnus again, so he planned to make a quick stop to surprise him before going to help his coworkers set up for the festival. Helping out today meant he got tomorrow off and would spend the day enjoying himself with Magnus and his boys.

A roar of a car engine arose from the other end of the road and he was surprised to see Magnus’s SUV driving down towards him. He’d apparently caught sight of him as well because he saw the car start to slow down. Alec stopped his bike and propped up the stand as his smile grew wider at Magnus. He watched him get out of the car and saw an undeniable fury in his eyes, far more wild that the anger he saw when he rejected his bike. They walked towards the middle of the barren road, facing each other.

Confused, Alec asked, “I was just about to come see you. What are you doing here?” 

“What is this, Alec? Tell me what this is.”

He held his hand out and Alec’s eyes caught glimpse of the paper he was holding, eyes widening as he saw his face plastered on it. A closer look shows it to be a wanted poster. 

A wanted poster, with his face and name, right next to the words assault. Alec could hardly believe it and every fear that he’d repressed so well in the past weeks came back to hit him like a freight train. How could Kevin do this to him? It seemed like he would never escape him. 

“I said, what the fuck is this, Alec?! Because I’ll tell you what it looks like to me. It looks like a goddamn wanted poster with your face on it and the words ‘aggravated assault’. Who the hell did you assault, Alec?” The look in Magnus’s eyes tore his heart into pieces. They were clouded with so many emotions: hurt, confusion, disbelief, rage. 

“I have no clue, but that’s not real Magnus. None of that is true, I swear.” 

Magnus’s voice grew louder, “Of course it’s real, Alec! I am holding it in my hand. How can I believe you when I am looking at this, right in front of me?” He waved the paper around in clear frustration, keeping a distance between him and Alec.

His words trembled as he responded. “It’s not true, Magnus….please. You need to believe me. None of that is—”

“I let you into my life, my home, my…my heart. My kids, for fuck’s sake Alec. My kids trusted you and I trusted you. What on earth am I supposed to say to them about this?” 

Tears spilt down Alec’s face as he tried to find the words. He knew he should’ve told Magnus sooner. He should’ve been completely honest because now he watched this man slipping away from him. He knew it couldn’t last, he knew it but he did everything not to believe it. 

“You can tell them that I was a stupid boy who thought he was in love. And that I got into a relationship with a man who tried to control me, who tried make me hide who I was…who hurt me to do what he wanted.” 

He said those last words desperately, knowing they didn’t explain everything but hoped it would be an attempt at making Magnus listen. He needed to calm his fears, to know that the flyer wasn’t true and that he was running for his safety before he ended up here. 

“You should go. You should leave, especially before Luke takes a good look at this.” 

Magnus put the piece of paper in his hands as Alec braved a long look into his eyes. There was so much emotion teeming out of them that he could hardly comprehend it all. Under the many layers, he could see that this wasn’t what Magnus wanted but what he felt like he needed to do. Despite how much pain he felt, he didn’t want to hurt Magnus anymore. 

“I’m sorry,” Alec whispered but Magnus had already turned back towards his car before getting inside and driving off. The dusty road became quiet again and all he could hear now was his worst memories amplified through his mind as he got back on his bike and rode to the house. Everything inside of him felt like it was about to break.

———

———

_Alec closed the front door of Kevin’s apartment as he walked past the doorway, taking off his coat. He was so lost in thought about where he’d just been that it wasn’t until Kevin cleared his throat that he realized he wasn’t alone._

_“Hey. Where have you been?" His voice was slightly slurred as he sat leaned back on the couch, a glass tumbler with ice and a clear liquid in his hand._

_Alec proceeded slowly into the living room as he gazed at Kevin, who looked less and less like the man he thought he fell for months ago. “Seeing Max, I thought I told you. His flight leaves early tomorrow morning so it’s the last chance I had to see him…It would’ve been nice if you could’ve met him. I’m not really sure when you’ll get another chance.”_

_Max was his youngest brother by almost 10 years. Since he was a surprise baby to the family, his parents were never very hands-on with taking care of him (not as if they were with him, Izzy, or Jace either). He was being sent to a private boarding school in Belgium, an advanced institute for his impressive intelligence. His parents claimed it was the best decision, but he knew that Max would rather stay close to his family, his siblings…his home._

_The conversation he had with him not long ago was still rolling through his mind, the poignant words of his little brother sticking with him. He was trying to make Max feel less sad about leaving, speaking of the time and distance as if they were nonexistent. Then Max said the strangest thing to him; he asked if he was happy. The honesty of his statement surprised him but he knew his little brother was smart and perceptive like no one he knew._

_Before he knew it, he’d told him. He told his youngest brother that he was gay, that he realized it a couple years ago and hid it for so long. But he was so tired of hiding it anymore. He was the first person he’d ever told, and he went from feeling terrified to relieved when his brother leapt into his arms with a hug. All he said was how much he loved him and that the people who mattered would love him too, no matter what._

_“Oh yeah, of course. I’m sure I’ll see him someday, once things are more…out.”_

_Alec muttered under his breath as he crossed his arms, “You mean, once you’re out.”_

_“What was that?”_

_He froze momentarily as he reigned in his emotion the way he normally did, but a new force that was driven by Max’s words pushed his feelings in a new direction._

_“That was insensitive, but it’s mostly true, Kevin. You’re forcing me to be your little secret while you make me wait for you. It’s always about you being comfortable.”_

_“It’s not just me Alec, and you know that. You know that you're not ready and it’s not the right time for you either.”_

_“I told Max.” Those words rang loudly through the apartment as Kevin froze mid-sip. He slowly set his drink down and stood up, his eyes blinked into a growing fury. One that he had been too familiar with recently._

_Alec continued, “I told Max and I feel a lot better now that I have. He could tell I’ve been hiding something that made me unhappy and he took it well. He said it doesn’t change who I am to him.” He watched as Kevin’s hands twitched and he walked towards him, his expression becoming slowly unreadable._

_He’d already began with honesty so Alec saw no point in stopping now. If Kevin wanted to hide, that’s fine. But Alec didn’t want to be someone else anymore. He was finally taking control of his life again and that determination pushed more of his words out._

_“So Max knows now…and I’m going to tell Izzy and Jace soon. Izzy probably already knows, she's hinted a few times but I want them to hear it from me. They deserve that and I deserve that and I think it’s unfair—”_

_His sentence was cut short as he felt himself shoved violently against the wall, the back of his head banging the stucco with a force that made him dizzy. Disoriented for a moment, he tried to regain his footing as he braced himself against the wall but once he stood fully up, Kevin’s strong hand grasped his neck and held it tightly. He could feel oxygen rapidly escaping from his lungs, making black spots appear in his eyes as he saw the image of the man in front of him start to fade._

_Before he lost any more consciousness, the hand holding him tightly threw him onto the ground forcefully. He landed on his wrist, thinking he may have sprained something immediately. Despite how tall or in shape he was, Kevin’s strength and speed overpowered him completely in this moment. He pushed himself up on his elbows to look back at Kevin, the shock of what was happening made him freeze. In their arguments in the past months, Kevin occasionally grabbed him with a new harshness but he’d never gone this far and it terrified Alec. He was so overcome with shock that he didn’t know how to react._

_Kevin got on his knees next to him and grabbed the front of his shirt firmly. He spoke in a low voice, “Why are you making me do this, Alexander? Why are you making me hurt you? Everything was so perfect and now you’re making me do this.”_

_He spoke up but his voice was shaking slightly, “Everything was perfect?? All we do is hole up in your apartment and you keep thinking it’s okay to control what I do with my life. You pretend you’re dating women because you think your coworkers will care that you’re gay.” He sat up slightly with a bit more confidence, “It’s fine if you’re not ready but it’s not okay for you to instill fear in me to keep me here with you, to make me hide from my family and friends when I’m ready to be comfortable with myself. I just don’t think we should contin—”_

_A hard fist plowed through Alec’s cheek, knocking him back onto the ground as pain passed fiercely through his nerves. He grabbed the spot that Kevin had just hit, looking back up at him as he saw unfiltered fury in his gaze._

_“This is over when I say it is, Alec. You’re so confused right now but remember, you can’t live without me. Your family will disown you and you will lose everything. With me, everything will be fine. Now, I don’t want to hear about this again.” He got up, retrieved his drink from the living room to down at once before heading to the bedroom, leaving Alec unmoved on the floor._

_Alec could feel various parts of him aching from Kevin’s brutality. He knew he had a temper but this was the first time he acted out so roughly. He was terrified that it could get worse, seeing that his tone had been pretty steady the whole time. What would happen if he got angry again…what would he do to him?_

_Fear went manic in Alec’s head and his heart ached. He knew this was wrong. No matter how much he thought he loved him at the beginning, he shouldn't be with someone like this. He wanted to be the person inside of him, itching to get out. Max’s words rang in his head again: ‘The people who matter would love you no matter what.’_

_If this is how Kevin wanted to show his love, then he needed to get away from him. But he was dangerous, a cop, and now apparently, unafraid of getting violent with him. His body was shaking with fear for his immediate safety._

_The night continued on with tense silence as they had a quiet meal before Kevin left for a late shift. In the first hours of the next day, Alec sat in the living room and processed more of what happened before. He was scared, but also so exhausted. He was so tired of being told that this aggression was part of love, and that he was meant to just accept it. He was sick and tired of not being who he really was because Kevin wanted to stay concealed forever._

_But what could he do? They lived together and he was a cop. If he could just disappear for a while…_

_An idea formed quickly about who he could turn to, so he rushed into the bedroom and hastily packed a large backpack with miscellaneous items before leaving for Izzy’s. He knew it was late but it was time to come clean with her. He needed to leave and leave quickly, and Izzy deserved to know everything._

_In the quiet interval between midnight and morning, he left Kevin’s apartment and hopefully, a life that threatened his happiness forever._

———

———

The bike's wheel skidded over a rock on the road as Alec lost control and it fell on its side, tossing Alec swiftly off and onto the ground. He’d been so consumed with the past memory playing through his mind that he nearly forgot he was riding a bike. He sat up and ran his through his hair, shaking off the fearful thoughts that kept replaying.

He’d been so terrified that night, heightened even more as he arrived at Izzy’s, asking for her help to leave. His face and neck were bruised from the areas Kevin’s hands hurt him and Izzy noticed immediately, so she didn’t think twice about helping him. She saw the fear and regret, as well as the heft of responsibility as she knew he was blaming himself for what happened. After reassuring him that she loved him and this wasn’t his fault, she helped him leave. 

Then he arrived here, somewhere that seemed like a perfect place to lay low, as he was sure that Kevin would come looking for him soon. This seemed like the last place that he could find him. 

But then he’d met Magnus. Someone who gave him such burning bliss, someone who was strong and passionate with how much he cared for him. Alec hadn’t expected that, he hadn’t even begun to think he’d find something like that so quickly. Magnus was so beautifully unexpected that he wanted to believe that his past could be forgotten.

He stared down at the paper Magnus showed him, causing his bubble of safety burst open and he knew it was too good to be true. He lost his peace, his comfort, and he lost Magnus.

He got on his feet and ran the rest of the way towards his house. All too familiarly, he packed his bag hastily. He ran back and forth around his house, collecting items, when he heard a British voice call out his name and approach the front door. 

“Morning Alec! How…..What-What’s happening? Are you going somewhere?” 

“I’m leaving.”

“What do you mean, why would you be leaving?” 

He stopped his frantic movements momentarily as he took a deep breath and replied. “It’s everything I feared and ran from coming back for me. I need to leave, it’s not safe for me to stay here anymore.”

“What about Magnus? Does he know about this?”

“Who do you think told me to leave? Trust me, Thomas. Magnus wants nothing to do with me…I definitely don’t blame him too.” He kept his movements hurried, walking back and forth as he kept packing. 

“Hold on, hold on Alec. We can figure this out. If you just leave now, you’ll be taking the easy way out.” He followed Alec’s movements around, carefully keeping his distance. 

“Easy?! You think this is easy for me? I hate this but I have to do it.” 

“You should stay, Alec. You should stay and face whatever this is. You need to explain to Magnus everything—”

He snapped his head back to face Thomas, a building anger mixed with fear and sadness exploded out of him. “Like you’re one to talk? You’re stuck here, and for no good reason while you complain about nearly everything as if it’s a lighthearted joke. This is serious, I know when I need to go.” 

He watched as a heavy sadness came over Thomas’s features from those words. He knew they were harsh but his mood pushed him towards words he normally wouldn’t have said. 

“Maybe you’re right Alec, but sometimes, some people don’t have the luxury of leaving when they choose. I definitely didn’t.” Before Alec could process what he said, Thomas made his way towards the front door without looking back. “Best of luck, Alec.”

Alec watched him go for a few moments before finishing his packing. He left his house and the pieces still there were left strewn about. He tried to dispel all the beautiful memories he’d had there as he ran for the ferry dock.

——————————

Magnus drove hurriedly for a few miles until he realized that the tears in his eyes were impairing his vision. He roughly pulled his car to the side and put it into park, turning the key to the off position with might.

Immediately, the tears poured as his sadness overcame him so he let them flow. He couldn’t believe what just transpired in such a short amount of time. He’d been at the peak of passion and desire the night before, then it all came tumbling down into a confusing mess. How could this have happened? How had Alec not told him anything, about why he ended up here, before he could fall so deeply for him? 

A voice of reason in the back of his head spoke quietly, but noticeably, that Alec mentioned how he'd been hurt. Emotionally and physically. The thought of someone laying a hand on him filled him with anger, a fury that threatened to overpower how upset he currently was. He knew it was hard to talk about those kind of things, but he’d shared so much with Alec and cherished every moment they had together. He could have told him, he would understand. At least he would try his hardest to.

 _So why don’t you understand now? I know you’re angry but that anger will fade and you’ll be upset that you’ve lost him_ , the voice of reason spoke again. He knew exactly who’s voice it was.

The smooth, British accent of a grumpy old man…it was Ragnor talking, trying to make him see past his volatile emotions. 

Ragnor always had an expert ability to guide him when he needed it the most, when he was unable to see past his own pride and perspective. There were so many moments in the past few years that seemingly brought him back to his life in his mind. He was often reminded of his presence and what he would say in hard moments. He missed his dear friend so badly.

Leaning his head back on the seat in his car, he squeezed his hands tightly around the steering wheel as his mind staggered. He felt his heart breaking, but it’s nothing compared to how it’s been broken before. Magnus knew he fell too hard in love sometimes, and he’s paid the price of building himself back up when he lost it again and again. 

But this seemed so different. Being with Alec was effortless, it gave him happiness and steadiness that no one had ever given him. He was so taken with that beautiful, caring, surprising man. He had caught his eye immediately when they first met, but it was that moment he watched him run to rescue Rafael in the water. He felt like it was the precipice of seeing who he really was. Behind those hazel eyes and furrowed brows, there was a man who would do anything for the people he cared for. 

_Then don’t lose him, Magnus. Sometimes people do things when they’re scared but you shouldn’t hold it against him._

Ragnor wouldn’t leave him alone about this, apparently. He remember him coming here to live alongside him, post-Camille. Magnus was on the very edge of emotional breakdown and he brought him back. But it was one of the things he told him in those final weeks, when Ragnor decided he didn’t want to be stuck in hospitals but enjoy the beauty around him with every last minute. 

They were enjoying a drink on his front porch and Magnus was forlorn over the lack of love he had lately, and how Camille had broken him so harshly. 

_Don’t forget this, Magnus. One day, someone will come along who will tear down those walls you've built around your heart. And when that love comes back to you, you must do everything in your power to fight for it._

With his eyes closed, Magnus could feel those words and Ragnor’s presence surround him. Then, a symphony of alarms went off in his mind with realization. 

Losing Alec was the last thing he wanted. 

With a renewed determination, he immediately started his car and drove back towards his house. When he arrived, he saw the interior had gone through a whirlwind and the door was left ajar. Realizing that Alec had packed to leave, he got in his car and headed to the ferry dock. If he was already gone, Magnus didn’t know what he would do.

——————————

Seagulls called to each other over Alec’s head as the sloshing seawater hit the wooden pier. He let his senses get overloaded a final time with the beautiful sway of sand and sea. Beyond the people he met, Alec really loved living here. He never really believed how peaceful it could be by the ocean until he’d actually experienced it. He’d been so accustomed to a big city that he wasn’t sure how he could go back to one now. However, it was probably much safer for him if he didn’t want to be found. He could hide so much easier in plain sight instead of being pinpointed like he had here.

He was so tired of running, tired of hiding. It seemed like he might have to be moving around forever until he felt safe again. The gates opened to enter the ferry as the passengers lined up and began moving slowly, Alec’s feet drifting along with them towards the boat.

“Alec! Wait!” 

His head whipped around at the unmistakable sound of Magnus’s voice. His eyes scanned over the crowd until he saw the red streak in his black, styled hair, attached to the man who was pushing through people and racing toward him. His frenzied pace put him in front of Alec in a matter of moments. 

“What are you doing, Magnus? I’m leaving, just like you asked.” Alec’s heart kept shattering as he saw that unforgettably warm face in front of him. 

“Wait Alec, please…I’m sorry. I was terribly upset but I don’t want you to leave.” 

Alec’s lip quivered as he tried to keep himself together. He knew no matter how perfect Magnus spoke right now, he would still have to go. “I can’t do that. I can’t stay here anymore, it’s not safe for me.” 

Magnus looked so desperate as he raised his hand to reach out to Alec but stopped at the fear of overstepping. “Alec please, just tell me what’s wrong. If you’re in trouble, I can help you. I want to help you. We can talk to Luke and we can protect you—”

“He’s a cop, Magnus. That’s not going to solve it. He has power and he uses it for his advantage. That’s not going to change, I could never…never put you through that, or put Max and Raf through that. I won’t be safe if I stay here.” 

Alec shook his head to wish away the tears that were threatening to fall. His knees felt weak at how badly he wanted to stay, but it was impossible. With his eyes cast down, he was ready to turn away for the final time until two firm fingers titled his head back up to look him directly in the eye. All he saw in Magnus's eyes was care…and hope. 

The one thing he didn't see? A willingness to let him go. His determination was clear and unwavering. 

“Alexander, there is no safer place in the world for you than here…with me. I will never let anyone hurt you.” His other hand reached out to gently hold Alec’s upper arm, rubbing his fingers lightly against him in a soothing gesture. Alec gazed deeply into his eyes and saw so much conviction in them. His heart ached at how desperately he wanted what was right in front of him: a man who was promising to care for him and pleading with him to stay.

His next words spilled out as if they were the most natural thing in the world. “I love you, Magnus.” 

The smile on Magnus’s face grew slowly as his hand grazed Alec’s face before pulling his lips to his. The kiss wasn’t heated, but it emanated promises and staggering devotion. Magnus came after him because he refused to let him think he’d have to be hidden forever. This is what Alec always knew could be out there...and here he was. 

He pulled back just slightly as Magnus rested his forehead against Alec’s, with no indication of releasing him from his arms. 

“I love you. I love you, Alexander Lightwood.” There wasn’t an ounce of regret or lie in his tone. He spoke with certainty like Alec had never witnessed before. “Now please, don’t leave.” 

Alec shook his head in disbelief as his sad smile transformed slowly, hardly able to believe how lucky he just got. “I won’t. Away from you is the last place I want to be.” 

He dropped his bag on the wooden dock beneath them and lunged himself forward again. He cupped Magnus’s face with his large hands to kiss him fiercely, the feeling of his skin grounding him to Earth. Their lips connected and he felt a tidal wave of peace wash over him. The feeling had come in smaller waves as they’ve gotten to know each other but now, Alec was beautifully overwhelmed with how at home he felt. 

As Magnus wrapped his arms around him and softly kissed his lips, Alec felt some of his fears settle away and borne from it, an unbeatable feeling of being exactly where he belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things got bad but good again, but there's more bad coming followed by more good. Thanks for sticking around.


	10. I'm on Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec's worst fear comes to Southport.
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: some mentions of physical and emotional abuse, forced closeting for Alec. It's not too graphic but I'd rather be safe. Also, Kevin drinking too much)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY FRIENDS, HAPPY FRIDAY! ♥
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience with this chapter. This week became so hectic and I am so excited to post this part. Your support and comments and likes and kudos and bookmarks mean so much! You are all so lovely.
> 
> There's a bit of exposition in this chapter that is Alec-centric, but I thought it was necessary. Then some more bad things coming. Two more chapters after this, the next one being one where shit will hit the fan. Also, hopefully to your delight, I decided that when this is done, I want to do a deleted scene follow-up. This will allow me to do more romantic stuff and stuff from Magnus's perspective. Enjoy! 
> 
> -Wasabi 
> 
> (Chapter title is from the song I'm on Fire by Bruce Springsteen)

—————————————

The drive to Magnus’s house from the ferry dock was silent but the strength of Magnus’s hand in his own reminded him that words weren’t needed yet. The town floated by through the window as he felt his frantic heartbeat calm down little by little.

When they arrived at the house, Max and Rafael were both thrilled to see him, expressing their excitement in their individual ways. Magnus sensed that Alec might want some time to unwind so he offered to make something to eat and took Max with him to give him a little bit of solitude. He went out onto the porch where Raf was reading a book on the swinging chair, so Alec sat in the rocking chair next to it, maintaining the quiet environment he’d just entered. He occasionally glanced over at Raf but mostly stared ahead, watching the gentle changes of the late afternoon sky. 

“Are you sad?” 

The words cut through the quiet and Alec looked over at Raf, who had his book resting in his lap now. His eyes were inquisitive but seemed innocent in their question. Alec smiled softly back at him.

“No, not sad. My brain is just tired, I went through a lot of emotions today.”

“Which ones?”

He thought carefully of how to answer, not wanting to worry him in any way. “Just a couple of the not-so-great ones. Like sadness, worry,” he said the next more quietly, “…fear.”

“Is something scaring you?” There was zero wickedness to Rafael ever so Alec didn’t want to lie to him. 

“It’s more like someone, just someone I don’t want to see because he’s not a nice person and he’s not very nice to me. But I’m trying not to be scared of him.” Alec looked ahead of him for a second before looking at Raf, who was still giving him his undivided attention, trying to understand what Alec meant. “Rafael, I just want to know that you’re okay with me being here. This is your home so if you’re unhappy about it, I can lea—”

“You can stay here.” Alec’s words stopped in their track at the simple statement. He felt any walls ever between them come down and relief spread all through his body as Raf continued. “I like you. Max definitely does too, and I know that Papa likes you the most.”

He felt the tears of gratitude overwhelming his eyes and threatening to fall, but Alec just gave him a smile and thanked him. He spoke again but in a softer voice, letting the words dance across the air, “I like all of you, too.” 

Raf gave a small grin before returning to his book, allowing Alec some more time with his thoughts.

Later on that night, the house was quieter and Alec went into Magnus’s bathroom. After filling up the large tub, he sunk his body as he waited for Magnus to join. Once he entered, the room filled with a new sense of calm and Alec allowed that feeling to wash over him the way the warmth of the bathwater had moments ago.

Alec watched Magnus undress and lower himself in the tub with him, while the water sloshed back and forth. The room was dimly lit and the air around them was gently stirring. He was so grateful for the stream of events today that led him to this point, where he was now beside Magnus with a newfound openness.

He was also undeniably grateful as he watched Magnus climb into the large rectangular bathtub jutting from the wall. Every muscle swayed with grace when he moved and there were so many of them to take in. He took a deep breath in while he stared shamelessly. The happiness of accepting Magnus’s offer to take a boiling hot bath just increased exponentially at the sight of his glistening tan skin. 

“The boys asleep?” Alec inquired as he adjusted his leg so Magnus could settle down facing him, but still remaining close. Alec was leaning against the back side of the tub, resting his head on a soft towel. The exhaustion of today was taking its toll but he wanted to stay up longer so he could process more of how he felt, and to talk more with Magnus.

“Yes, much to both of their dismay but I’ve convinced them it’ll be worth it if they have more energy tomorrow.” He chuckled softly as he bended his legs slightly to sit across from Alec, tilting his head to gaze more deeply at him but filled to the brim with affection. 

Alec folded his legs in front of him in the giant tub so he could sit closer to him before sighing. “I have so much I need to tell you, Magnus…so much that you deserve to know.”

“Alexander, you don’t have to tell me everything now. There’s no rush, I prom—”

“I know. I know, but you’ve been so understanding and so damn perfect to me that I want to do this. I need to, okay?” Alec looked at him expectantly, hoping he got those words out right. All he saw was a beautiful smile emerge and he knew he could continue on.

Alec took another deep breath and let memories come forward in his mind, ready to share with the man he loved. “Growing up, my parents weren’t the most loving and they were so consumed with their own work that I spent a lot of time in my own head. I knew I was gay for a while growing up but didn’t really feel comfortable sharing with anyone, even with my siblings. 

“College was the first time that I really felt myself coming out into my own and learning how to be who I wanted. I loved writing so I got interested in English and World History, leaving the law dreams of my parents behind. I went out sometimes but nothing crazy. Then on the subway home late one night, I met Kevin. I was pretty lovestruck early and he was so interested in me, not just my looks but who I was. No one had ever given me that kind of attention before. I was really excited, I finally saw an opportunity to be with someone.” He could hear his voice getting shaky so he closed his eyes to steady himself before he continued.

“The first couple months, things seemed okay, but I was probably blinded by how much I liked having a boyfriend. He’d been a cop for a few years before becoming a detective so he was pretty confident in his work life and his image. I thought he’d want to take me out but we just went back and forth from his apartment to mine until he eventually decided that we should move in together. Once we did, we stayed at home all the time or go to really remote vacation spots that he planned. For our 6 month anniversary, I planned a week-long vacation in Canada for us. I was so excited to tell him but when I did, he told me no and that I shouldn’t have done that without telling him. I was so confused by his anger but he finally told me that he wasn’t technically out. So, he wasn’t comfortable being out in public with me and he didn’t want to feel rushed about it. I never thought I pushed him, especially since I know how hard it is, but I felt like I was walking on eggshells with that topic from then on.” He chanced a glance at Magnus to see how he was reacting and only understanding emanated from his beautiful eyes. He gave a small nod to encourage him to continue.

“He would take girls out to keep up appearances at work and went as far as making out with them with no shame. Any time I tried to bring up how it wasn’t fair to me, he would either get really upset or try to tell me how much he loves me and how he’s doing everything for me. He grabbed me roughly a few times but it never got much further. It was all so conflicting…I-I should have realized sooner but he just wanted me as his secret and it was making me miserable. The first night I flat-out told someone I was gay was when I told my brother Max, who was so supportive and made me believe that my family would still love me, if they didn’t already know. I told Kevin when I got home that night. I said I wanted to tell more people and how I was so sick of hiding.

“And then…he got really violent with me, in a way I’d never seen. I was so in shock at the time that I could barely process what was happening. I could have fought back but taking in the idea of the person who was meant to love me physically hurting me….it made me freeze. I-I’ve never talked about this, but I feel so stupid now.” A few tears fell down Alec’s cheeks at the pain of the memories replaying in his head.

“You are not stupid, Alexander. You are anything but stupid. That situation would be hard for the strongest person to go through.” He placed his hand over Alec’s to rub it softly and soothe any of the demons hounding his mind.

Alec smiled sadly but intertwined their hands to demonstrate that he’d understood those words and he was slowly learning how to believe them. The bathwater was still so magically warm and it comforted every bone in his body, almost as much as the gaze of the loving man across for him. At that same moment, Magnus must have realized that the distance between their bodies was too big. 

“Come here,” Magnus stated softly as he pulled on his arms and Alec twisted himself to lean against him, his back against his hard chest with his head leaning on his shoulder. Alec glanced slightly up to see green and gold eyes shining down at him, filled with endless love and care. His body melted against the warmth of this embrace and the truth of Magnus’s words on the ferry dock hit him with a sudden force… _There is no safer place in the world for you than here with me._

From that second onward, Alec believed it with everything inside of him. 

He heard Magnus speak, his voice more unsteady than he’d ever heard it. “Alexander,” he sighed deeply before continuing, “you’ve been through a hell that I could never imagine and you didn’t deserve that pain from someone who was supposed to love you. You should never have been forced to believe that being neglected was okay, that staying hidden was who you had to be. That is not love. That was someone trying to disguise their anger and aggression with something that’s meant to be beautiful. I’m so sorry you were hurt like that and it makes me just want to love you harder…and show you what you deserve, you extraordinary man.” He put on a gentle kiss at the side of Alec’s wet-haired head before tightening his hold around him.

Alec smiled at the words that spilled out of Magnus without hesitation. How in the universe did he get so lucky? But without fail, the fears began to creep up his neck and send a worry down his spine. His thoughts hounded him with the ever-present dread of what was coming, making his voice quiet and unsure as he spoke again. 

“What if I’m not strong enough to fight him?”

“Don’t fight him, fight for yourself. Then, you can be certain that you’ll have the strength. And don’t forget, you have me."

Alec twisted slightly in his lap so they could face each other more easily, their heads rested on the edge of the tub while their legs stayed intertwined. They could feel each other’s breath while the low lights in the bathroom bounced off the water and across their skin. Alec memorized every detail of the golden hues touching Magnus’s face and cherished the new understanding he had of love.

He was staring at his lips as he heard Magnus speak again, stroking his cheek gently. “I’m so glad that you’re here.” 

“I am too.” Alec kissed him with a languid tenderness, hoping it conveyed the gratitude for keeping him safe and loving him without fear.

That night, sleep came easily in Magnus’s silk sheets and inside of his warm embrace. He knew there was danger looming but he let himself embrace the security of strong arms wrapped around his chest and the hard body against him that promised that he would no longer be hurt.

—————————————

With a hard slam of the door, Kevin burst into the store in a post-drunk haze, mind clouded from a restless night and lingering trails of vodka. He walked immediately to the refrigerator section to get a bottle of water and then walked through the aisles towards the register.

He finally arrived in Southport on the morning of 4th of July but once within city limits, he spent several hours drinking to prepare himself for getting Alec back today. Despite the fact that he knew he could do what he needed to, his own insecurities pushed his need to supplement with some liquid courage. He had drove to the address of the seafood restaurant to see if anyone was lingering around there. When he found the place empty with a closed sign, he looked at the piece of paper that was taped next to it, saying Come find us at the 4th of July festival! 

Finding Alec and coaxing him back to his car to take him to New York might be easier if he could hide in a crowd. The festival seemed like the place he could find him as well. As the plan manifested in his mind, he came up to the counter to pay just as he saw a younger boy reading a book. He sat facing the window, his shaggy dark hair covering part of his eyes. As he saw him approach, he got up and went to the counter. 

“Can I help you?” 

The boy couldn’t be older than 10 or 11, possibly even 9. “Aren’t you a little young to be running a store?”

He seemed unaffected by the question as he looked neutrally back at Kevin. “My dad owns the store and the building next door. I’m just helping.” The boy stayed unmoved but kept looking at him. 

“Yeah, well where is he?”

“Out, he went to get something from home.”

Kevin gripped the counter at the frustration of having this conversation that was getting him nowhere and he let out a grunt. The boy seemed so unfazed by his sour attitude. “What’s your name, kid?”

He paused momentarily before he spoke, “Rafael.”

“Okay Rafael, I’m a policeman and I just drove a very, very long time to get to this town and I’m having some trouble. So, I would appreciate speaking with someone who’s a little taller, so can you ple—” 

“Where’s your uniform?”

The question caught Kevin off guard but then just heightened his frustration at being interrogated by a child. He didn’t even know if this kid knew anything about Alec so he could be wasting his time completely. Proceeding to laugh off the inquiry, he continued. 

“I’m a detective, Rafael. That’s a special, important kind of policeman. Detectives catch the bad guys, and they also help people. Like right now,” he pulled out a folded, worn piece of paper from his pocket; it was the wanted flyer with Alec’s face, “I am looking for this man and I think he may be around here. Have you seen him before?” 

He watched the boy take a few seconds to look at the picture before staring back into his eyes. He tried to see if any expression passed over his features but before he could really look, he spoke back.

“No.” 

Something in the back of Kevin’s mind told him to press further. This town seemed impossibly small so there was still some likelihood he could remember. “Are you sure, Rafael? You wouldn’t lie, right? You wouldn’t lie to a policeman, would you?”

He spoke without thinking that time, “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve never seen him.”

Though something felt not right in his head, he decided a child isn’t worth pressing further. A few dollars for the water are dropped on the table as Kevin slammed the door open and stormed back towards his car. 

There, he emptied out the water bottle 3/4 of the way and filled it up with the large vodka bottle he had in the car. A long swig of the alcohol pierced down his throat and fueled the growing anger in his head. He was becoming desperate and knew that he would need to find Alec soon or else the intensity of his rage would push him further. 

But he was here, Kevin was sure of it. He could feel it, as he walked away from his car and towards the town area where his face mingled in the crowds of people.

—————————————

Alec walked around with Max sitting on his shoulders, both equally delighted as they moved through the festivities and the smiling faces. Next to him, Magnus was walking with Raf and they were eating fried shrimp from the paper plate Magnus was holding. Everything in the air was carefree and joyful, and Alec allowed himself the liberty of relishing that feeling.

Though the town of Southport was pretty small, it seemed like more than just the residents were celebrating 4th of July here as Alec saw plenty of unfamiliar faces at the festival. They walked past rows of food stands and artisans selling items as they made their way to the stage in front of a dance floor area. There was a large band with all sorts of instruments being played by the members, a lighthearted folk-style tune floating over the crowd. Magnus needed no hesitation to pull all four of them onto the floor to dance. 

As Magnus pulled him by the hand to the center of the floor, his mind drifted to the memory of them dancing in the lowlight of the diner on their first date. It seemed like an eternity ago. Something was surely ignited that evening and as he twirled around next to Magnus, gazing fondly at his smiling face, he knew he could be content dancing with him forever.

—————————————

Eyes widened in shock at the sight before him, everyone else’s face in the crowd blurred away as his vision pinpointed on the fixation behind his madness these past weeks.

Kevin had walked by a parade before making his way through the festival, surrounded by a swarm of unfamiliar faces. He was certain that it would be easy to find Alec but he was getting overwhelmed as his drunkenness was not helping him with any clarity. But as he walked nearer to the dance floor in the front of a band playing, he undoubtedly saw the man he’d been focused on finding. There he was. 

He had a smile on his face as he danced with a young boy, who Kevin then recognized as the kid from the store earlier. His fury grew rapidly at the thought that the boy lied to him and was trying to protect Alec. He balled up his fists in anger as he moved towards the edge of the dance floor. Just then, he noticed his closeness with a man next to him, who was holding up another small boy in his arms as they swayed to the music. 

The man was dressed in such an over-the-top way, clearly not a fan of modesty. Just as Kevin became concerned about who this man could be, he watched as Alec leaned into his space and kissed him deeply as the man grabbed his shirt to pull him more forward for a moment. They parted with smiling faces as their bodies swirled around into the sea of people around them. 

Kevin swore he saw red for a moment as he led out a stream of silent profanity at the sight. How could Alec cheat on him like that? How could he just forget about him, and for someone like that? Someone so flamboyant and nauseating? 

His knuckles began to whiten at being held closed so tightly. He rocked back and forth on his feet. Just as he was about to barrel through the crowd to grab Alec by the arm and drag him into his car, a flash of sensibility went through him as he knew that wouldn’t be the best in this crowd. Alec clearly knew a lot of the smiling faces and he would be heavily outnumbered. 

Kevin retreated slowly, away from the dancing crowd and out of the thick of the festival as his mind crafted a shallow plan. He chugged from his water bottle and let the vodka wash over him as he hung back and watched over them until he could get Alec alone. He could feel his anger building to new heights inside of him and if Alec’s behavior made him act out roughly again, then so be it.

Once Alec was away from the others, he would do whatever he needed to take him away from here and back to New York where he belonged. 

By any means necessary.

—————————————

Evening began to fall over the small town as the festivities continued on. The area near the docks became lit with lanterns and people set up camp to watch the fireworks.

Kevin had went back near the store from earlier this morning to keep an eye out for Alec. If he’d been with that young boy, then he may be returning to that area. As he sat hidden in some shrubbery close to the dock, the waiting time allowed his fury to bubble up and remain just as intense. He waited and waited for Alec to turn up. 

When the last of the sun disappeared and the blue sky was getting dark much quicker, he saw Alec walking back towards a row of houses with the man and two children he was dancing with earlier. They seemed to be in great spirits as they laughed and walked into a house that was across the wide street from the general store, an area that was far emptier of people. They disappeared to the interior of the house and Kevin saw them emerge a few minutes later, sitting on the flat portion of the roof to await the fireworks.  
As the sky exploded with sparkling lights and the excitement of people could be heard clearly, Kevin was wondering if he would even get his chance tonight.

But as it appeared, luck was on his side. Minutes later, he witnessed Alex coming out of the house again. He made his way across the street to the general store, an easy smile across his face. He saw no trace of either kids or the man from before. He was completely alone.

As he watched Alec enter the store and turn on a light, Kevin emerged out of his hiding spot nearby and walked briskly towards the store. With every step that hit the ground and the final sip of his liquor-filled bottle, the anticipation mixed with rage fueled him towards Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me at @lasttraintowherever on Tumblr. TWO CHAPTERS LEFT!


	11. Heart of Steel, I Can't Let You Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plea from Kevin turns chaotic.
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: fighting, some violence, people being threatened. This is the big one, y'all. You've been warned)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends,
> 
> I'm sorry to leave you with that cliffhanger but it was preparation for this chapter. This one is another emotional rollercoaster so I hope you're ready. I appreciate your support so much and I love writing this for everyone. You are all the best ever. 
> 
> Also to anyone in the US like me, I woke up this morning to horrific news of a mass shooting by a domestic terrorist. 3 years ago, I was at a college where another shooting occurred and overtime I see this in the news, every memory flies back when I think of all the families torn apart. To all the people lost in Vegas last night, I'm sorry this world couldn't keep you safe. We deserve better leadership, better laws protecting us, and better empathy from those around us. 
> 
> Lots of love,  
> Wasabi
> 
> (Chapter Title is from Love Me Like I'm Not Made of Stone by Lykke Li)

———————————

Walking across the street towards the store, Alec’s heart was full as he replayed the moments of the day. He didn’t think that anyone had stopped smiling for a single second. He surely hadn’t. He was beyond grateful of Catarina too, who had taken the boys aside to dance with and he got a few minutes of dancing with Magnus alone. It caused every perfect feeling from their first date flood back to him. They went from fast-moving and cheerful to slower swaying with Magnus’s head on his shoulder and Alec’s hand tracing small circles over his strong shoulders as they moved.

The door to the store swung open as he walked inside and turned on the light. They’d been watching the fireworks for a while but Magnus had apparently left their desserts behind so Alec volunteered to get them. He didn’t want the boys to miss a moment of the bedazzling lights. He went over to the freezer section to grab the popsicles they wanted when he heard the bell above the store’s door ring through the quiet. He hurried to the entrance on the side of the building to make sure no one tried to come in. 

“Hi! Sorry, we’re not open. I was just grabbi—”

Hazel eyes locked in on dark blue ones that were filled with rage. 

Alec felt all the breath leave his body, replaced with dread as he saw Kevin standing next to the door. His hands rubbed together feverishly, while his eyes were bloodshot and filled with emotion. He looked like the most crazed version of himself that Alec had ever seen, such a distance from the man he met long ago on the subway. It was terrifying. That he looked like that and that he was here, standing right in front of Alec. 

“I found you.” Kevin spoke in a slightly playful voice with a desperate plea traced through his tone. The words cut through the tense silence in the room as Alec stood frozen, not daring to show any reaction. He didn’t want Kevin to see any fear that he could jump on and manipulate. 

He watched as Kevin gained some footing towards him and a twisted smile appeared on his lips. “I found you. I missed you so much, Alec.” There was confusion and rage stirring all through him and Alec saw it most ardently in his eyes. 

“What are you doing here?” Alec’s voice wavered slightly as he focused on his breathing. The fury spilling out of Kevin’s face made him feel so paralyzed. He watched as Kevin sauntered closer to him, standing just a few feet away. 

He reached out to touch Alec’s arm but Alec flinched away purely by instinct. He didn’t want to let Kevin touch him; he’d lost the right to do that ever again. 

“I—-I just want to talk Alec. Just talk. Talk the way that we used to.” He tried to take another step towards him but Alec cut out of his path and moved to the other side of him. He walked closer to the door but turned to him with as much resilience as he could muster.

“Fine, let’s talk. But outside.” He turned quickly towards the door as he burst through the opening, hearing Kevin follow behind him. He led them out of the store and to the side of the building, right at the edge of the dock’s beginning. As he turned back towards Kevin, he could see the area further down towards the school, where Rafael had fallen in the water. The events of that day flashed through his mind, reminding him of how they changed everything about his experience in this place. He took a deep breath and allowed it to build his strength, as he realized that what happened now would likely do the same.

Outside of the store, the crackling of fireworks and faint voices of people could be heard but it faded away as Alec prepared for what he needed to say. “What do you want to talk about?”

Kevin looked at him incredulously, his drunken state causing his body to rock slightly and his composure to falter as he responded. “I’m here to take you back to New York, Alec. This is crazy, I’m here to take you home.”

“I am home.” 

He said it with certainty and conviction. Kevin might be fueled by his anger, but Alec was fueled by every powerful moment he’d shared with Magnus since the day they met. It gave him all the strength he ever needed. 

Kevin chuckled and a chill ran down Alec’s spine at how sinister it sounded. It was the first time since he’d arrived that Alec felt the fear threaten to impair him. 

“What? Here? You’re going to stay in this tiny town?” He ran his hands through his hair with aggression, letting out a grunt at the same time. His eyes met Alec’s again and the anger pouring out made his knees shake slightly. Kevin gestured towards the house across the street as he continued ranting. “With him?”

Alec was tempted to respond but he stayed silent and held his ground. Kevin didn’t deserve to know anything about Magnus. That wasn’t what this was about, this was his battle to fight.

“You know I saw you today, I saw you with that guy. What are you doing, Alec? He doesn’t know you like I do, he doesn’t love you the way that I do.”

“That’s right, he doesn’t. He doesn’t hurt me or manipulate me.” Alec’s hands shook but he straightened his spine to build up some of his resolve. “You need to leave…now.”

He watched as Kevin took a step directly in front of him, trying to make him cower in fear. Alec was actually tempted for a moment, his painful memories of their last encounter ringing through his head but he knew he had something to really fight for this time. 

Not only himself, but Magnus and being with him. 

Just as he was about to tell him to leave again, he watched Kevin slide his hand inside his jacket and flash his knife at him. His fingers encircled the leather grip tightly, the sharp but thick blade becoming the only thing Alec could focus on. 

He remembered that knife, it was such a prized item for Kevin. A physical representation of what could boil inside of him. He was so attached to it and he loved the way that weapons bolstered his power, especially when manipulating people wasn’t enough. Alec’s fear overwhelmed his senses as he tried to think of why he would bring his knife here, and why he would hold it out to him now. 

Kevin’s words were more slurred than ever, as the intensity of the moment was clearly affecting him. “Now…you don’t get to say when I stay or go. I won’t leave until you come with me, Alec. You belong with me and I’m not leaving here without you.”

Alec felt small inklings of fear run through his body at the sight of his weapon, the light from the fireworks in the sky glinting slightly against the blade. He knew he couldn’t secede, he had so much here he was fighting for and he would not leave it behind. He made sure his next words were the strongest he had spoken so far. 

“You hurt me. You hurt me and you kept hurting me. You tried to hide me because you were ashamed and tried to make me cower in fear of you. I was stupid back then but I’m not anymore. Leave, Kevin.” 

The last two words came out the loudest and the most fiercely. They were like the last wall that Alec needed to build between them. He hoped it was strong enough to keep him out forever. 

As a dangerous fire ignited in his eyes, Kevin blinked and rage stormed through every feature in his face. He bolted towards Alec and grabbed his upper arm firmly, dragging his body right in front of him. Alec tried to pull out of it immediately but Kevin used his other hand to raise the knife to his throat, causing him to freeze in terror. Not wanting to provoke his actions in the wrong directions, he stayed unmoving as Kevin spoke. 

“I said, I’m not leaving until you’re in the car with me. I won’t hear another word of this bullshit. We’re leaving…NOW.” He tightened his hold around Alec’s arm as he jerked him towards away from the dock. Alec panicked but knew he had to do something, despite the sharp blade being held against his neck. 

Before he had a chance to consider if it was a reasonable idea, he elbowed Kevin in the stomach and pushed out of his space before turning back in the other direction quickly. Only getting to a few frenzied steps, he felt the hard handle of the knife slam into his back as he got knocked onto his stomach. 

As he began to push himself up with his hands, he felt the hard pressure of a boot kicking into his ribs as Kevin fought to keep him on the ground. He felt the kicks a few more times, each one hurting him even more as he slowly started to feel his mind freeze the way it had when Kevin hurt him before. The last one hit near his head and things began to get cloudy. His mind was blacking out as he felt pain take over his consciousness and time dissipated as he waited for the next blow to come. 

He felt nothing for a couple seconds until he heard a loud grunt as someone getting knocked to the ground. He turned to look quickly at what was going on and his eyes focused on the sight now in front of him. Kevin had been thrown onto the dirt but still gripped the knife in his hand, while Magnus was kneeling on top of him with his hands firmly against his chest. There was fierce determination in Magnus’s face as he fought off all advances to keep Kevin restrained. 

The closeness of the knife to Magnus’s body terrified him to him his core, so he ran over to snatch the knife out of his hand. Before he could get close enough, Magnus released one of his hands holding him down so he could blast a fist through Kevin’s face, causing him to grunt out in pain. He punched him a second time, followed by Kevin elbowing him in the face and making Magnus to lose his advantage over him. Still with the knife in the his hand, he tried to lower it down onto him but Magnus grabbed his forearm and threw him off. Magnus pushed himself off the ground to go after him once more. More fists were thrown as they wrestled for control, the knife skirting between both bodies as they fought.

“Papa?!” 

Alec’s eyes shot up as he saw that Max had crossed the street and was several paces away from where Magnus was fighting Kevin. He looked completely in horror at seeing his dad so close to being hurt. Alec bolted toward to shield him from the danger but just before he was in his reach, he felt two hands grab his shoulders and throw him onto his back roughly. 

He felt all the muscles in his back shoot with pain as his head banged against the ground. He saw black spots in his eyes from the hard contact. When he looked up with some renewed composure, he could see Kevin picking up the knife from the ground and slowly moving towards Max. His heart stopped completely as he tried to get up, but fell over from the lack of steadiness through his body from being hurt. He fell back onto the ground as his eyes landed on the sight before him. 

Max could barely move as he watched Kevin approach and yelled, “Leave my dads alone!” 

Kevin flashed a sinister smile while his eyes flashed with ire. “Alec is not your daddy, kid. He’s mine and he always will be and I’m taking him back to—”

He screamed out in pain as Magnus quickly came up behind him and tackled him into the ground. He grabbed the knife from Kevin’s hand and threw it far away before hitting him hard and repeatedly, determined to keep him down. Alec forced himself to come to consciousness as he crawled over to where Max was standing and hugged him close. The unwavering hold of his small body seemed to shield him from any lingering pain. 

Magnus had gained some advantage at overpowering Kevin as he watched him continue to hold him down, just as a cop car with a blaring siren came rushing towards where they were. The red and blue lights flashed across the dark road as the car stopped next to them. Luke ran out of the car to pull Magnus off of Kevin, keeping him at gunpoint as his partner cuffed him and pushed him into the car. 

For every second since Luke had arrived, Magnus seemed completely dazed once he was pulled off of Kevin. His eyes kept blinking and his body swayed slightly as he stood in the same place, coming down from the shock of what had happened. Alec watched as Luke went up to him and spoke quietly, seeming to pull him out of the trance he was in. His clothes were torn and dirty, while his eye makeup produced black smudges under his lower lashes. 

He turned to see Alec holding onto Max and he rushed over to kneel on the ground with them, enveloping them in his arms immediately. He held them so tightly that Alec was short of breath but he was so overwhelmed through his entire body that tears of relief poured down his cheeks. He felt Magnus kiss the side of his face and whisper, “You’re safe.” 

Only a few seconds after, Raf came running out the house and to them immediately. Magnus grabbed him and held him close. His face was overjoyed that the people he was terrified of being hurt were now safely in his arms. 

“I’m sorry that Max went out of the house, Papa.” Rafael spoke quietly as he looked apologetically at both Alec and Magnus. They were both confused until he continued. “I know I was supposed to keep him at my side but it was taking so long to get Luke here.” 

“You called Luke?” Magnus looked shocked at how he responded in this situation. 

“It was the scary guy that wanted to hurt Alec, I couldn’t just do nothing.” He spoke with such beautiful honesty that Alec could feel his emotions on fire. These incredible people brought him into their lives and protected him. He was so lucky to finally be safe.

———————————

A stirring air lingered around the house, despite the lack of sound as night grew darker outside. The town became sleepy after the festival and Magnus, Alec and the boys took their time to relax after the tumultuous events from earlier.

Despite trying to relax, Alec’s mind was going haywire. It was almost unwilling to believe that this nightmare was over. 

So many small pieces of the night came flooding back, striking the same feelings in his heart for a moment before they retreated: Magnus fighting relentlessly to protect him, Kevin daring to strike fear into Max’s heart, Kevin holding a knife against him and making him believe that he’d never see Magnus again, Luke arresting Kevin and taking him away in handcuffs.

He took a long, deep breath that expanded in his lungs before trailing slowly out of his body. It took him so long to get here, but he was finally here.

Finally safe, and he never had to be hurt by Kevin again. 

He was seated on the couch in Magnus’s living room while he spoke with the boys. Max had not left Magnus’s side since they were brought back together and he figured that it would take a serious amount of consolation to rid the fear from his heart. Alec didn’t want to intrude at all on these conversations, part because he knew that they were crucial to their well-being and part because he felt responsible for ever putting the boys in this situation. 

Alec had already spoken with Rafael, and he assured that he was okay. Raf seemed to really get the fear that Alec was living with and how serious of a threat he had been facing. He understood it and he seemed okay.

But Max. 

Poor Max. Poor, sweet Max. That little boy, who had all the beauty of life in his eyes, had to watch his father in a whirlwind of violence and danger. He also had to be the focus of Kevin’s fury in a terrifying moment when he got too close for comfort. He wasn’t sure how easy it would be to forgive himself for that. 

“Hey.”

Alec was shaken from his inner thoughts as he looked up at Magnus leaning again the doorway. He had a soft smile on his lips but his eyes look exhausted, probably emotionally spent from trying to relax everyone. He deserves so much of a break and Alec couldn’t wait to do whatever he could to bring his mind to ease again. 

“Ready to go to bed, darling?”

Alec stumbled on his words for a moment before blurting out, “I want to talk to Max first, if that’s okay. I won’t be able to sleep if I’m not sure he’s okay. Can I see him?” 

He was worried that Magnus might say no, that he’s been through a lot today and deserves rest. But, surprising him in the fluidity of his choice, he wordlessly comes to the couch and pulls Alec off, then walking to the door of Max’s room. He kissed Alec lightly on the lips and said he’ll be in the bedroom, allowing Alec the privacy to do what he needed to. 

Alec took a deep breath before knocking lightly on the wooden door, “Max, it’s Alec. Can I come in for a minute?” He heard Max say to come inside and he opened the door, turning on the lights to a dimmed hue that wouldn’t be too blinding. 

Max sat up in his bed as Alec came to perch on the side of it. He took another shaky breath as he considered what to say first to the young boy. The young boy who’s gone through so much today that he shouldn’t have. 

“Max, I am so…so sorry about what happened today, for scaring you. I’m sorry that you had to see your dad getting hurt and that man being mean to you. It’s my fault and I am so sorry.”

He knew he was stammering over his words but he felt like he had so much to apologize for. He watched Max’s face for a reaction but what he didn’t expect was a soft smile to appear. It was filled with understanding in a way that was so similar to what he always saw in Magnus. 

“He was scary, but we sent him to jail where the bad guys go. You don’t need to be scared anymore. Now, you can stay with us!” There was an lightness to his tone that seemed impossible after the horrific events of today. Alec was desperate to be certain that he was truly okay, that he wasn’t masking his emotions in any way. 

Alec continued, “Are you sure you’re okay, Max? Today was really scary and I want to make sure you’re okay. This is your family that was being hurt today, and I’m so sorry I put you all in this position.” 

The boy smiled with a gentleness that can only be worn by a beautifully innocent child. “It’s okay, but only if I get one thing.” 

Alec’s mouth ticked into a half-smirk, laughing at how he could already be in a bargaining mood. “Okay, what’s the thing?” 

“Will you please, please let me call you daddy now?” 

Alec felt his heart stop at that question. That was undoubtedly the last thing he’d expected Max to ask for. After everything that happened today, after all the danger they had faced…Max was stilling sitting here and saying that he wanted Alec around. 

Permanently. 

In the aftermath of the pain today had brought, for everything to culminate in this moment of acceptance made tears flood his eyes. He bit his lip to hold back a sob as he regarded Max’s hopeful eyes looking at him. He was waiting for an answer, and Alec really wanted to give the one he wanted. But he knew he had things to discuss with Magnus about that. 

But he was hopeful, more hopeful about his life than he’d ever been. So, he knew he wanted to give Max something. Some inkling of hope for the future they might share. 

He smiled with earnest at the boy, “As long as Papa wants it as much as I do, then yes you can.”

———————————

Alec walked into Magnus’s bedroom, moving slowly as he replayed his conversation with Max. He looked up to see Magnus reading a book in the candlelit room, leaning against the bed frame with a subtle rigidness that contradicted his usual grace. He was shirtless and in pajama bottoms, the fluffy blanket of the bed gathered around his hips. It seemed like he was trying to unwind but was still tense from what happened tonight.

“Everything okay, Alexander?” 

He stood still for a moment as he looked at him, hoping he could see the love pouring from his eyes. How fortunate he felt that he made it: he was here and he was safe. 

“Yeah. Everything’s okay. Better than okay, I think.” He moved toward the right side of the bed as he removed his clothes and crawled under the covers in his boxers. Magnus closed his book and blew out the candles, casting the room into more darkness with the gleam of moonlight shining over them. 

Magnus turned on his side to face Alec, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his head in the crook of his shoulder. Alec seemed more stoic, words bubbling at his lips but uncertain of where to start. 

“Magnus, I’m so sor—”

“Stop right there, Alec.” His head moved back to look right at him, an unwavering passion ablaze in his eyes. “I don’t want you to apologize. I told you I would fight with you, and I did. And I’m beyond glad that I did, because now you’re safe and in my arms. Tonight was terrifying, yes, but it’s over now and he will never hurt you again.” 

Alec felt short of breath as sobs threatened to break his composure. Magnus was right, he thought, tonight was a nightmare come to life but it was all over. They could put it all behind them and be together without fear. 

His heart felt so full that it might burst. 

Alec smiled gently at him when Magnus pressed a kiss on his forehead before returning his head into the warmth near his neck. Alec snaked his arms around his strong torso and felt reassured by the hardness of Magnus’s body against his own. His mind began to drift towards peacefulness as eyelids drooped slowly. 

He whispered in a hushed tone, the words dancing through the quiet air and the glow of moonlight in the room. “I love you, Magnus.”

“And I love you, Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to come chat on Tumblr @lasttraintowherever


	12. All of My Demons Have Withered Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last thing...
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: some of the sex stuff) 
> 
> (chapter title is from Demons by Fatboy Slim feat. Macy Gray)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves,
> 
> I can't believe I made it. I had no idea what I was getting into when I committed to this but to think that I actually made it to the end, and in great time, is amazing. I want to thank everyone who read it for all their support, comments, kudos, and just general loveliness. It really made me want to do a good job with every chapter and put a lot of heart in it. 
> 
> Since this was my first foray into fanfics, I don't know what'll be next but I'm not sure if I'll take on another long concept like this soon. HOWEVER, I do want to start doing a deleted scenes series of this, with all the stuff that I wanted to add and create more depth to the story. I will hope to do mostly Magnus's perspective, some more love and romance stuff. I'll get working on that sometime soon.
> 
> I'm in school so getting time to commit to this is intermittent, but I will be back. Thank you again for all the love, I hope you enjoy the last chapter.
> 
> LOTS OF HUGS XOXO WASABI

———————————

Alec used to think he never wanted to share a bed with someone. He loved to have the sheets to himself and not worry about crashing into another body in the night. He’d felt that way since he was a kid and it persisted, but when he dug deeper, he knew there were more poignant reasons behind that thought.

As a teenage boy discovering who he was, he realized that he hated sharing beds because he was scared. He was scared he’d never get to be with someone who he could sleep in a bed with. 

Someone to hold hands with. Someone to whisper to until the morning hours with. Someone to feel at peace with. He never thought he could have that, so he told himself that he liked sleeping alone. 

Now, as he lay awake in bed next to Magnus while the first traces of sunlight made their way across the mattress, he felt almost foolish that he would ever trick his own mind like that. The lock of his arms around Magnus’s waist spread warmth all through as his body pressed against his own back. With his chin tucked in the crook of his shoulder, Alec took enormous comfort in the steadiness of Magnus’s breath and the unmistakable smell of sandalwood that always wafted around him. He breathed in deeply so the scent would remain in his mind forever. 

He had slept quite peacefully but not for too long, his mind still awake and analyzing the events from the day before. He allowed himself some time to be pensive though, since it meant he could remain fully awake as he held Magnus close. Magnus would probably scold him for not getting some sleep but he still felt a little unsettled. He wondered how long it would take him to truly come down from all that lingering fear. 

But if there was one thing he was sure of, being in the presence of this beautiful man with his broad back against Alec’s chest at the moment, would surely make it easier. 

Alec moved his head back slightly to press light kisses across the muscular back and shoulders underneath smooth, tan skin. His simmering passion pushed him to keep kissing down Magnus’s back slowly, letting the silky wetness of his mouth trail across his hot skin. Every kiss pushed him further, unable to get enough. 

“Mmmmmmmm…” He heard him hum in pleasure at the feel of Alec’s hot lips on his body, now reaching the curve of his body just about the waistband. He pressed his teeth gently into the delicate skin and it made Magnus gasp in delight.

The reaction made Alec laugh lightly, the heat of his breath grazing the planes of Magnus’s skin. As his lips continued to make a new path, he used his hand to nudge him onto his back, skirting along the edge of the pajama bottoms before kissing a trail back up to his sleepy face. 

Magnus’s eyes were still closed but he wore a blissful smile, almost as beautiful as when he opened his eyes slowly. Green and gold orbs poked out as the growing light in the bedroom made the colors glimmer and he had to shake himself out of his trance. 

He heard Magnus’s voice ring through the room, husky and heavy with sleep. “Good morning to you, too.” 

He smirked at the cheekiness of his words, “Good morning, beautiful.” 

Alec kissed him on his lips: soft, warm, and filled with stirring want. As he pressed his body closer, he could feel the slight hardness of Magnus against his hip. Alec trailed his lips down the stubble of Magnus’s jaw to the soft spot behind his ear. Once his lips reached their destination, the moan that came from Magnus’s lips was far more audible and broken than he’d ever heard. That was a spot worth remembering, Alec thought. 

He returned his face to look back at Magnus, his eyes darkened with desire for this perfect man beneath him. He pressed their lips together, with much more ferocity than before as he made his way down his body again. Once he reached the fabric of his sleep bottoms, he grabbed the waistband with his teeth and pulled down until they came off his hips, pulling them the rest of the way off with his hand. Before Alec returned his face to Magnus’s hips, Magnus put a hand on his face, stroking gently.

“Are you sure, Alexander?” He whispered quietly with a bit of uncertainty, but his eyes conveyed how much he wanted this too. 

Alec flashed all the love in his eyes as he could to confirm that this was what he wanted, and especially what he needed. He crawled forward momentarily to answer with a hard kiss before returning his face to Magnus’s lower body. Alec pressed sloppy kisses along Magnus’s hipbone and down to his inner thigh, hearing his breath catch as soft moans spilled out of him. He felt the hardness of Magnus’s length against his face and the heat emanating from it. It made Alec’s own cock swell with desire.

When the sound of Magnus’s moans became too much to resist, he licked a long strip along his length until he reached the tip. After another long lick of the drops of liquid at the top, he enveloped his length with his mouth, sucking hard at an agonizingly slow pace. He coordinated his movements with his hand as he grasped his length more firmly. As he relaxed his mouth even more to let Magnus’s cock slide smoothly in and out, he heard a string of muffled moans and calls of his name come from Magnus. He thought about how much this unspeakably caring man had done for him, since they’ve met and just in the last 24 hours. Alec knew that he wanted to make him as happy as possible. 

Now and forever. 

He sucked harder as he bobbed his head at a faster pace, while Magnus’s hand slid through his hair, stroking and tugging gently. He could feel the heat of his him swell inside his mouth as he whimpered, “Al-Alexander…” and came inside his mouth with a long, slow moan. His breathing remained frantic and heavy as he fell back onto the bed, while Alec wiped his mouth with a look of satisfaction on his face. 

He crawled back up to eye-level with his lover, kissing his neck gently before returning to his lips. Magnus opened his heavy eyes to look at Alec with overflowing love as he dragged him to lie on his chest, Alec’s head resting where his heartbeat was returning to its normal pace. 

Magnus’s voice was still thick with desire when he spoke, “How the hell did I get so lucky?”

“Funny, I was just wondering the same thing,” Alec chuckled before placing a soft kiss on his tan skin. 

Magnus looked down at Alec with an enchanting smile as he stroked his back with his hand. “How are you feeling?”

Alec thought carefully for a few moments before choosing what to say. He knew that he still had a lot of emotion flowing through him but he felt at the cusp of something great. “Good. Better than good, I think. I feel…peaceful. I don’t think I’ve felt like this in a long time.” 

Magnus’s mouth turned up slightly at the thought, seemingly happy about the peace Alec had in that moment. He quirked up an eyebrow as he responded, “Anything at all to do with me?”

Almost chuckling at the thought, he let the reality of those words sink in. He breathed in deeply before looking deeper in his mesmerizing eyes, teeming with promise and hope like he’d always dreamed of. “Pretty much everything to do with you, Magnus.”

The honesty of those words made Magnus’s eyes widen slightly, realizing the weight they held, before they softened. He turned on his side, bringing their faces close so his lips could connect with Alec’s. The kiss was heated and slow, but filled with an affection that was never-ending. Both of Magnus’s hands went up to hold his face, making sure that Alec didn’t depart immediately. It seemed like their mouths were connected for centuries, neither of them wanting to let go of feeling the other one pressed against them. 

They both lost their breaths for a moment, like a couple of excited teenagers, and they chuckled softly together. Alec felt muscular arms hold him close and it sent shivers all throughout his body.

“I appreciate you taking the time to speak with the boys last night. I know you feel like it’s your fault, which you shouldn’t, but you really went above and beyond doing that. It’s beautiful how much you care about them.” 

The blush made its way to Alec’s cheeks without hesitation, just as Alec thought how he could possibly still blush because of this man. After everything they’ve conquered together, after how much he’s helped him, after all the intimacy they’ve shared. “I do care about them, a lot. This whole family…they’ve accepted me and loved me in a beautiful way.” Alec felt a little sad at the moment, remembering how much he missed his own family and how they needed to hear from him very soon. 

Magnus spoke again, breaking him from his thoughts. “I know they’d love to meet your family too. If that’s something you’d like.” 

Alec’s smile grew slowly, realizing how easily Magnus read his thoughts at that moment. Bringing the people from Alec’s family to meet his safe haven, the amazing people have loved and protected him when no one else could, was exactly what he wanted. 

“Can I tell you what Max asked me last night?” He was eager to tell him about the innocent moment, but would be lying to himself if he didn’t admit his nerves about this very serious topic. Magnus cocked his head in questioning, waiting to see what the lovely little boy said to him. 

Alec gazed back in Magnus’s eyes before replying. “He asked when he could start calling me daddy.” 

He felt Magnus’s body freeze slightly, understanding that the weight of that question was bigger than Max understood. He saw his face the most unreadable than it ever had been before Magnus closed his eyes, seemingly lost for his next words.

He waited. Alec already told Max that he wanted the same, and he was sure that Magnus had noticed how happy he was with all three of them. 

But this was bigger. This was Magnus’s family, his whole life. The life he built after it had been torn apart by heartbreak and losing loved ones. Did Alec fit there?

Magnus’s eyes were still closed, a small furrow in his brow revealed that he was contemplating something. When he opened them finally, they were filled with a medley of emotion that made Alec’s heart swell. 

“Alexander…I want you here. I know your life is in New York but you’ve opened my heart and soul up. I’d hate to have to go back to a life of living without you. Seeing those hazel eyes every morning and night is all I could ask for, if it’s what you want too.” 

Swallowing at the intensity of the confession, Alec felt all the nerves in his body get ignited. This is where he belonged. He did fit here.

“You’re wrong about one thing, Magnus.”

“And what’s that?” 

“My life is here, because the man I am unfathomably in love with is here.” Alec couldn’t hold himself back any longer before kissing him again, hoping it conveyed every ounce of love he had. It took him so long to understand how fulfilling this kind of love could be. But now he knew, and this kiss was a promise for both to cherish this thing forever.

Magnus kissed him again and again before climbing on top of him, sitting in his lap as Alec encircled his arms across his back. They whispered ‘I love you’s’ to each other between the presses of their lips when Magnus rolled his hips against Alec and felt the hardness that lingered from their earlier activities. 

“Hmmm, let’s do something about that Alexander,” Magnus hummed as he snaked his hand down their bodies to grasp him and push him towards the edge. Alec kept their lips connected, unwilling to stray too far from his enchanting lover. As he drove him to a state of euphoria, Alec rode the high of being loved and cared for like he’d never known.

———————————

_“Alec! How are you just telling me this now?! You should have called me immediately after last night!”_

“I know Iz, I’m sorry. I was really overwhelmed and it’d been a long night, in addition to a long time being worried.”

_“So no more feeling worried?”_

Alec inhaled steadily, thinking about all the emotions of fear and doubt that he’d experienced so frequently in recent months. He was so worried that he might be trapped like that forever. All of it had withered away.

“Not anymore. Maybe about the everyday things, but I don’t have the big worry anymore.” 

_“Speaking of which Alec, don’t think you can hide Magnus away forever. I am coming down to Southport ASAP to meet the man. And I’m bringing Jace too.”_

“Oh lord, poor Magnus.” That comment made Izzy chuckle across the phone line, but she still seemed delighted that she could play her protective little sister role to a worthy man in Alec’s life. He was really eager for them to meet Magnus. He knew the day would come though, and more days beyond that.

_“You sound so….calm. Peaceful, even. Everything in your voice is so light, Alec. Are you happy where you are?”_

Izzy was never one to beat around the bush, especially with her siblings. She always seemed to understand Alec, even when he wasn’t in the biggest sharing mood. So, she must have figured something here; maybe through the sound of his voice or the number of times he’d laughed mentioning Magnus. After all the fear she must have felt to see her brother have to hide away, he really hoped that she could understand how much he’s changed. 

“Yeah, I’m happy Iz. This is the happiest I’ve ever been. I finally have the thing I never knew I could have.” 

He heard a couple of sniffles from her end of the line, smiling at how emotional this confession made her. She spoke again, _“I can’t wait to meet him, big brother.”_

———————————

The ocean water swayed gently, hitting the dock in small waves as the breeze carried the scent of saltwater everywhere. Alec stood on the dock near the store, gazing out at the water as he allowed the atmosphere consume in a peaceful bliss.

He remembered feeling a similar way when he stood a bit further down the dock on the day he arrived. It was the same kind of feeling that washed over him that coaxed him into staying. He felt safe and enraptured, in a place that he didn’t even know. But there was something here that called to him that day, and he answered it. 

Thinking about where he stood now, he felt so lucky that he had made that decision. He closed his eyes and let the air circle all around him.

Soon, he felt himself be encircled by something else: a strong, muscular pair of arms that held him with both gentleness and support. He smiled to himself at how easily he relaxed into his embrace. 

“What’s on your mind, Alexander?” 

He turned his head to the right to glance at Magnus, the question simple enough to allow Alec to answer whatever way he wanted. 

“I’m just…thanking the universe for making me stay here that first day. I think seeing you in the school window was a special sign.” 

Magnus unwrapped his arms and moved slightly to the side to look at him. He kept one strong hand on the small of Alec’s back before reaching his other inside the pocket of his shorts. Inside was a small, weathered envelope with something written in ornate script on the front. He held it in his hand, fiddling for just a moment, before extending it to Alec. 

“Here. This is for you.” 

“For me? What is it?” 

The look on Magnus’s face was slightly confused but that was overtaken with thoughtfulness. “I’m not sure honestly, but I’ve been told that it’s for you to understand.” Alec still looked confused so Magnus restated his position on this. “Trust me. I’ll be at the house with the kids, come join when you’re ready.” 

He kissed Alec lightly on the cheek before making his way across the street from where they were on the dock, walking towards the house where the boys played in the front yard. 

With Magnus gone, Alec looked down at the envelope in his hand. The intricate cursive letters wrote something he almost couldn’t read, but at a closer glance, he read it:

 _To the One Who Heals His Heart_.

Thought the contents of the letter were still unknown, Alec was certain who the “him” was. He opened up the seal of the envelope and pulled out a paper folded into fourths. He opened the first two folds and began to read. 

_Hello there you,_

_My name is Ragnor and I am one of Magnus’s oldest friends. If Magnus gave you this letter, then he understood why I said it was so important to give it to the right person. And if he gave it to you, then he’s chosen you._

_When I moved to Southport, I saw my dear friend at rock bottom. Then when I had leave him, I saw him barely healed from that heartache. And bugger, I hated it. I hated thinking I would ever leave this world while my friend was in so much pain still. But if he’s given you this, then his heart is healing. You’ve changed him, you’ve taught him how live again._

_I only wish I could be there to meet you. But maybe in some ways, I am._

As he opened the other two flaps of the letter, he heard something fall out and looked down to see a photo, face down on the dock. He picked it up and glanced at the photo, then his eyes widened immediately at who was in the picture. He was gobsmacked at how he recognized everyone in the picture, including the one who he’d apparently had not met.

Magnus, Catarina…and Thomas? The picture was taken somewhere on the dock in town, with the three of them holding each other in a warm embrace with big smiles. The man in the middle looked slightly frail and looked like Thomas. Or was it Thomas? Alec’s confusion mounted as he thought this letter was from Ragnor, Magnus’s old friend who had passed.

Or could it be that Thomas…was Ragnor? He started to realize how much Thomas had helped him with advice about Magnus, and for himself. It was the kind of insight of a person who had seen the best and worst parts of life. He also realized he had never seen Thomas in town with other people. 

His heart beat rapidly at the realization as he returned to the letter. 

_I hope you don’t mind, but I’ll be keeping an eye on you. You have nothing to worry about though. If Magnus gave you this letter, then you’re that person._

_You’re the person he’s been waiting for. The one that makes him whole, who helps him breathe, and who makes his heart forever feel young. That’s really all he’s ever wanted. He gives his love without fear, and I’ve watched too many people take it for granted. If he’s given you this letter, he truly believes that you won’t. And I trust my dear friend, so I believe you won’t either._

_He can be stubborn at times, but I’ve never met someone with so much compassion and care for those he loves. I hope that you see in him what he sees in you. I hope he gives you what you need and what makes you happy. I hope this chance he’s taking with you is the best chance for you too. I hope you find your peace with him._

_Farewell,  
Ragnor Fell_

The words continued to run through his mind, as he focused his eyes on the picture again. Understanding dawned on him with a force that stormed through his mind. 

Ragnor was Thomas. 

Ragnor was his kind neighbor who made him laugh, who talked sense in him, and told him not to run from his battles. He had been watching over Magnus and watching him as well. He realized it didn’t scare him at all, but struck a chord deep inside of him.

Before he could ever realize it, this place came to his rescue. This beautiful town, tucked away on the coast, opened its arms to Alec from the day he arrived. He found tranquility and safety here. Every single person here showed a kindness and acceptance he’d rarely seen beyond his family. 

But most importantly, he found Magnus. And he found Max and Rafael. A beautiful family of three that wanted him to be part of it. He realized then that it was the one thing he wanted more than anything, and he could have it.

He turned towards Magnus’s house to see the boys rolling around the grass in the front yard, while Magnus leaned against the porch railing with a glass of wine in his hand. Alec felt gravity pull him towards the place his heart was. With each step he took, he felt more and more certain of where he belonged. 

He walked through the yard as the boys enjoyed the lingering heat of early evening, while the sky was lit in an array of colors that looked like one of Magnus’s paintings. His eyes fixated on the man that his body was rushing towards. He walked up to the porch to go up to Magnus, grabbing his face with both hands and kissing him with every bit of love and devotion he could muster. Magnus kissed him back, smiling slightly against his lips out of sheer happiness, while he held him closer by the waist. 

As they pulled away, they kept their foreheads close for a moment as Alec took a deep breath in. He let himself memorize every detail of this feeling. They sat on the swinging chair as they watched Max and Raf. Magnus’s arm around his shoulders was like an anchor that grounded him, keeping his heartbeat steady. 

This life was his. This life, lived without fear and with a man that loved him so deeply, was finally his. It was all he ever could have hoped for. 

He heard Magnus whisper to him, “Welcome home, Alexander.”

————The End————

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING!!!! ♥ and yes to clarify, Thomas was Ragnor's ghost, watching over Alec as he found his way towards Magnus. That's a storyline from the movie that I tweaked to fit Ragnors personality. 
> 
>  
> 
> Come be my friend on Tumblr @lasttraintowherever


	13. Deleted Scene #1 - Every Time You Fall, Fall on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deleted Scene #1 from Open Up, Everything's Waiting for You
> 
> -This scene is set the morning after Chapter 8 where Magnus and Alec spend the first night together, sharing a bit of Magnus's POV of how Alec came into his life. (I alluded to this scene in the first paragraph of Chapter 9, so this is basically a detailed extension of this scene)
> 
> -CW: sex stuff. Chapter title is from Mother Earth by Banks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY LOVES! 
> 
> I told you I had some deleted scenes in mind, and I'm so happy to post one for you today. The response from this has been incredible so I love to give a little more if I can. I don't know if I have any other Malec fic ideas for the future but my mind is open and thinking about it. The idea for this fic came through inspiration so I might wait around for that to happen again. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy! This deleted scene is quite honestly some gratuitous romance and love. Also, I did change the rating on this fic to E, for this particular chapter because some....stuff happens. I will definitely do some kind of epilogue deleted scene too that has Alec's family meeting Magnus but I want to think of some more too. If you have any suggestions of things you wanted to see, let me know. 
> 
> ♥

\-------------------

Magnus had never been a morning person. His whole life, from childhood to adulthood, he took great comfort in the oasis of his bed. Being a lone parent to two energetic boys could also take its toll, so sleep was a sanctity to him. He enjoyed late, lazy mornings with the sun shining brightly through his windows, while he constantly found new comfortable positions in his bed.

So why was he up now? Long before the sun was up or making any trace of light in the sky?

As his eyes remained half open but his head reeled with happiness, he looked down at the stunning man asleep on his chest to answer his own question. Alec’s head rested on Magnus’s hard chest, close to wear his heart beat steadily. He could feel all of Alec’s body aligned with his as they held each other close, their limbs tangled together in a heated web.

 _That’s why_ , Magnus thought to himself. His body still tingled with electricity from the night before and he felt like he was bursting from affection. Alec’s lust-filled voice chanting his name was forever ingrained in his mind and he wouldn’t have it another way. Magnus let that memory replay freely as he tightened the arm around Alec’s shoulders. He nuzzled his nose through Alec’s messy, dark hair, breathing in the earthy, intoxicating scent.

What a dream last night had been. What a dream just being with Alec had been, every single day. Magnus was amazed how someone so extraordinary had randomly appeared in his life, but also found a place in it so easily. The boys loved him and would bounce around his presence whenever he was around. 

Magnus was also quite smitten, in a way he’d never felt before. He had loved many people in his past, at varying degrees and for varying reasons. 

But as cliche it was to say it, this time was so different. 

Alexander was the most surprising, yet most constant person he’d ever met. Every time he looked into his eyes, Magnus felt confirmation of the affection they shared, and the beautiful thing that was growing between them. He felt his care pouring out of him and it set his heart on fire. 

As Magnus let his thoughts wander through the quiet morning, he took careful consideration at the poignant moments since he met Alec. 

The moments that took his breath away. The moments that changed him from the handsome stranger he saw through the window of the school to the beautiful man sleeping peacefully near his heartbeat. 

Those memories flew inside his mind in a delightful whirlwind. Alec’s shy smile and blush when they first met. Alec’s hazel eyes glowing back at him in the dim lights of the diner. Alec running without hesitation to save Rafael from the water. Alec holding Max close in the aftermath of that incident, assuaging his fears. Alec looking upon Magnus’s artwork with pride and adoration. Alec grabbing his arm and pulling him into his embrace when they kissed at the end of their first date.

A deep breath expanded through his body and filled him with peace. What a tremendous experience it has been to fall for this man. 

However, something still nagged in the back of his mind. A lot of what Alec has told him has been rather ambiguous. He had mentioned his family a few times and had also talked about the bad relationship he’d experienced but there weren’t a lot of specifics. He understood completely how hard these things could be to talk about and Magnus did feel like Alec was opening up, little by little. 

But that nagging in his head told him there was something more, something that he didn’t know yet and that he probably should. Magnus had no clue what it could be.

That sense of oblivion was not where he liked to be, but every minute with Alec brought them closer and more enamored with each other. He would wait to see what Alec would tell him, while continuing to show him that he was worthy of love.

Magnus heard a sleepy grumble that shook him from his thoughts, as Alec’s body shifted slightly against Magnus to pull him closer. He smiled when he felt Alec move his head further up Magnus’s shoulder, Alec’s hot breath cascading down his skin as he spoke. 

“Morning.” 

The sleepiness present in Alec’s voice made Magnus chuckle lightly before responding. “Good morning, my dear.” 

“Mmmmm…how long have you been up?” 

“Just a little bit. Not that I had any interest in moving when I had that gorgeous, naked body of yours on top of mine.” Magnus stated that compliment without shame as he pressed a soft kiss on Alec’s forehead. Magnus let his hand graze up the ridges of Alec’s spine, leaving a trail of warmth that only made Alec pull himself closer. As Magnus gazed upon his face, he could see a faint blush appear. 

Alec pushed his head further up so his eyes were level with Magnus’s, the tips of their noses just brushing while Alec whispered to him. “How do you do that?”

“Do what, Alexander?” 

“Just..say things like that and make me blush like crazy and…and my heart beat faster, so badly that I can’t control it and just—”

The stream of rambling words was cut off by Magnus surging forward and pressing his lips hard against Alec’s. All rational thought flew out of both their minds as they kissed each other fiercely in the quiet morning. Just as quickly as Magnus had kissed him, Alec wrapped one arm around Magnus’s back and the other hand clutched at his face as he flipped Magnus onto his back. Now pinned against the bed with Alec hovering over him, Magnus felt dizzy with lust as he held Alec’s neck tenderly and felt blood rush to the lower parts of his body. 

Their frenzied touches became more languid as Magnus saw the calm of morning wash over Alec’s face while his lips moved slowly across Magnus’s skin. He started at the base of Magnus’s neck and made his way across his eyelids, cheeks. and shoulders, with every third or fourth kiss returning back to Magnus’s lips. 

As he brought their bodies closer together, Magnus felt Alec’s hardness brush against him and it filled Magnus with desire. The same desire that he saw teeming through Alec’s hazel orbs. 

“You’re so….gorgeous,” Alec’s lazy voice murmured as he kissed him with wet, open lips. 

Magnus smirked when he responded, “And you’re unfathomably sexy,” as his nails grazed gently down Alec’s back. Magnus was rewarded with a moan that filled the silence of their isolated spot in the woods. The first few rays of sunlight made their way through the gap in the curtains, but the bedroom was still cast in a dark shade that added heat to their touches. 

The next kiss was filled with fire and longing, accompanied with hard body parts pressing into each other as Alec trailed his hands down Magnus’s body, clenching the firm skin of his ass. The tight grab made Magnus moan in a broken exhale, arching his body up to Alec’s chest. Alec kept kissing him fiercely as his fingers made their way between Magnus’s cheeks, grazing gently over his entrance as Magnus groaned deeply. 

The small tease made Magnus coil beneath him, causing Alec to laugh softly as he reach for the small bottle of lube they had discarded on the bedside table the night before. He slicked up his fingers generously before he rolled onto his side and pulled Magnus to his side, facing him. His hands flew down to his entrance again and let the wet slick of his lubed fingers elicit delicious moans from Magnus as Alec pushed one finger in. 

Magnus could feel his breath getting more ragged with every millimeter that Alec pushed his finger in. After pumping in and out, he added a second and hooked them to find his most sensitive spot. Alec was determined and moved with certainty, so focused on finding the place inside of Magnus that would make him fall apart in pleasure. His fingers found their location and Magnus pressed his forehead into the crook of Alec’s shoulder, his moans howling as he nipped at the skin around Alec’s neck. 

Once Alec had prepared him, he turned away quickly to grab a condom while Magnus took a moment to watch the muscles move in Alec’s back. He put on the condom and gently pushed Magnus onto his back, using his hands to guide his thighs open and position himself at Magnus’s entrance. Alec brought their lips together again as he pushed inside of Magnus slowly. 

Magnus could only emit shallow breaths and feathery moans as he felt the hardness of Alec overtake him. The feeling of being engulfed and the carefulness in Alec’s touch was overwhelming, yet so beautiful. Magnus couldn’t avoid the small pricks of tears that escaped his eyes. Alec’s body was still as he let Magnus adjust to the feel of him but his face became filled with worry as he saw the small drops come down Magnus’s cheeks. 

One of Alec’s hands came to cup Magnus’s face, brushing the stray tears away. “Magnus, what is it? Am I hurting you? I can stop.” Just as Alec began to move to pull out of him, Magnus locked his legs around Alec to prevent him from going any further. Magnus brushed the rest of his tears away and smiled up at Alec, trying to dispel any of the concern he saw in his face. 

“You’re not hurting me, Alexander. You could never hurt me. I’m just…so overwhelmed, in the very best way possible.” Magnus placed his hand on Alec’s bare chest, above where his heart beat rapidly the same way as the night before. Magnus leaned up to kiss any remaining worry off of Alec’s face, feeling the warmth surge through between their connected bodies. Alec’s lips moved tenderly and with care as he began to move inside of Magnus, pushing his hard length in and out. 

The languid pace they set flourished with the burning desire in the air and the surrounding silence of the woods around them. Alec kissed down Magnus’s jaw and neck with hungry lips as Magnus clutched at Alec’s muscular back. Broken moans spilled out of Magnus without inhibition, as the feeling of Alec deep inside of ignited every nerve in his body. As he looked into the hazel eyes above him, Magnus saw…love?

Alarms set off in Magnus’s mind and they rang loudly through his body.

It was love. Love was so clearly pouring out of Alec’s expression. It’s a look that has been building with every day they’ve shared together and was culminating into the heated, caring face staring back at him. 

Alec continued to move in and out faster, running a hand through Magnus’s hair as he kissed him deeply. Magnus let his arms encircle him tightly as he let his nails drag slowly down Alec’s back, the sound resulting from Alec a breathy groan that was devastatingly sexy. Alec kissed his neck again and buried his faced in the warmth near his ear. 

As Alec pumped faster and gripped Magnus’s hips, Magnus could hear him whisper in his ear through shaky breaths, “You are so..so fucking stunning, Magnus. You feel incredible.” Those words broke much of the coherence in his mind that was teetering him towards his release, but it all went haywire when Alec wrapped his hand around Magnus’s painfully hard cock. Magnus groaned loudly at how perfect everything felt, his hands trailed down to Alec’s ass to push him even deeper inside. 

That final grasp of sweaty skin brought their bodies closer than ever. Alec pressed one last, hard kiss against his lips and Magnus moaned loudly as he came in between their torsos. Moments after, Alec groaned between heaving breaths as his release spilled inside of Magnus. Every inch of heated skin was pressed against each other as they remained still, letting their breaths even out. Magnus relished the feeling of Alec’s weight on top of him and lightly stroked his back while kissing his temple. 

After what seemed like a blissful eternity, Alec rolled off to grab the small towel on the nightstand, wiping them both clean before turning back towards Magnus. Magnus went onto his side, the smile on his face unwilling to dissipate. In fact, it only grew once he saw the peaceful smile on Alec’s face as he stroked Magnus’s cheekbone with his hand. 

Alec chuckled as he spoke, his voice raspy with desire and exhaustion. “I could get used to my mornings being like that.” 

Despite the slight joking nature, his words and his expression rang with truth as he held Magnus tenderly, both of their bodies were still humming.

Magnus gazed into Alec’s eyes, letting himself get lost for a moment in the curious mix of green and brown. There was so much more he wanted to know about him, needed to know about him. Magnus wanted this so badly and he wanted to believe that he could have it, especially with what Alec had just said and the way he was looking at him now. Magnus had opened his heart to Alec and though Alec was doing it a bit more slowly, he was opening up too. 

The man behind those hazel eyes is the man that Magnus knew he could be happy with. Magnus leaned forward and kissed him softly but full of promise before he whispered against Alec’s lips.

“Me too, Alexander.” 

There was more about Alec to learn, but for now, he would enjoy their bliss.

\-------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk with me on tumblr @lasttraintowhatever  
> it's like 90% Malec stuff


	14. Deleted Scene #2 - Sleep on the Floor, Dream about Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deleted Scene #2 from Open Up, Everything's Waiting for You
> 
> -Set immediately after Ch 7, after Magnus and Alec's first date. Shows Magnus's perspective when he goes home after the date, some self-reflection, and talking to Max and Raf. 
> 
> Chapter Title is from Anthems for a 17-Year-Old Girl by Broken Social Scene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER DELETED SCENE FOR YOU, MY LOVES!! I am sorry this took a while to crank out but I hope you enjoy it. The next one is DEFINITELY going to have some Izzy and Jace. I wanted to do that sooner but I really wanted to come up with a good idea for Alec's family meeting Magnus and the kids. However, I was struck with inspiration the other day so I have an idea ready to go. I have a busy week of school ahead of me but once that's all done, I'll have plenty of downtime. I can't wait to share that one with you.
> 
> But in the meantime, please enjoy this! Lots of love and happy weekend to you all. Thanks for all the love for this fic. 
> 
> Wasabi xoxoxo

\-------------------

As the tires of Magnus’s SUV tumbled down the moonlit road towards his home, he barely registered the journey as his surroundings zoomed by. While he was fully alert, Magnus felt like a cloud had magically lifted him and guided him home. 

It was like he was dreaming, and yet, he’d never felt so awake. 

Or so alive. 

It was like every feeling and every nerve in his body was set ablaze, a furious yet delightful fire burning through him. His mind swam with the moments of the day as the wide smile on his face didn’t budge an inch. Magnus shook his head a little to gain some composure, surely before his date-driven high drove him into a tree.

He chuckled to himself, thinking how he felt like a swooning teenager every time he thought of Alec. Now, every rush of emotion from today would be emblazoned in his mind forever. Once he arrived home, he could see a light on through the porch window as he pulled the car into the driveway. When he turned the key to shut it off, Magnus took a few minutes to regain his steadiness.

When did it get like this? When had any person, man or woman, ever compromised his ease like this? He leaned his head back for a moment and closed his eyes, letting the electricity of the kiss with Alec pulse through him. 

And just like that, he could feel the warm silk of Alec’s lips on his. He could feel the hard muscles of Alec’s back and shoulders under his fingertips. When Magnus focused really hard, he could even recall the sweet, earthy taste of the skin on Alec’s neck, as well as the heady breaths Alec took while their mouths got lost in each other. 

Magnus almost moaned at the memory consuming him, nearly giving him the motivation to speed back to Alec’s house and keep their lips connected all through the night. Remembering why he came home in the first place however, he got out of his car and walked through the front door. 

As he descended on the living room, he could see Catarina on the couch watching TV with Max hugging her waist tightly, seemingly asleep. Raf was nowhere in the room, so Magnus thought he might be in bed already. Magnus entering the room caught Catarina’s sight and she glanced at his slow-moving body and the blissful smile on his face. 

Magnus spoke in a voice just above a whisper, hoping not to disturb Max. “My dearest Catarina. How’d it go?”

Catarina gave an easy smile as she watched Magnus perch at the other end of the couch. “Everything was a breeze, these boys are too easy. All it took was a movie and a yummy dinner. They had a great time.” 

“I’m sure they did, thank you for watching them again. I hope you were a little more restrained with dessert this time, yes?” Magnus said with a smirk, hinting at the last time she’d watched the boys and let them overdose on goodies from the candy store.

“Yes, much to their dismay and my own. Everyone had just one scoop of ice cream.” Catarina laughed quietly at the memory before regarding Magnus more seriously. With a quirked eyebrow, she pressed him, “You look like you’re walking on sunshine and heaven and cloud 9 and everything in between. I take it your date was good?”

Magnus ducked his head for a moment as he recalled more of the night. There was truly nothing to be bashful about. He felt so elated, affection and desire coursing through him. It was a feeling that sent his heart soaring in a way he hadn’t felt for so long, if ever. 

“I think good would, quite possibly, be the biggest understatement of the century.” The comment made Catarina’s eyes light up as she got ready to ask for more details just as Max’s small body began to stir.

Max spoke up in a sleepy voice, “Papa, is that you?” 

Magnus hurried to his side and turned him over slightly in Catarina’s lap. “Yes, pumpkin, it’s me. You should be in bed by now, mister.”

“Mmmmhh I know, but I didn’t want to sleep without saying good night.” The small pout on Max’s face made Magnus fill with warmth over this wonderful boy he loved so much. 

Magnus tousled his hair gently before responding. “How about Aunt Catarina helps you brush your teeth while I check on Raf, and then I’ll come tuck you in?”

Max jolted up immediately with a smile and all but ran to the bathroom, Catarina chuckling as she got up and followed him. 

Meanwhile, Magnus made his way towards Raf’s room where he could see darkness spilling out from the crack under the door. He opened it carefully in case Raf had already gone to sleep but was not at all surprised to see an upright lump in the bed, encased with a blanket and the glowing beam of a flashlight teeming out. 

Magnus chuckled to himself at the thought of seeing Rafael read like this many times before. He walked gently up to the bed, sat at the edge, and tapped lightly on the outside of the blanket. 

“Knock knock, Raf.”

Rafael pulled the blanket off to reveal his shaggy head of hair and dark eyes. “Hi Papa.” His tone was soft and seemingly in need of rest, but that never seemed to interfere with Raf’s penchant for reading. 

“You know you should be in bed by now. It’s summer and you need all the energy you can for the daytime.” Magnus stroked his hand through his hair gently as Rafael slid down into his bed. Magnus took the book from his hand, taking care that the bookmark was in the right place, before setting it on his nightstand. 

Rafael yawned before he spoke, “I know, I just really wanted to read a couple more chapters. I, uh, I kinda also wanted to see when you’d get home.” 

“I’m so sorry it’s so late. We got caught in a storm and I wanted to wait until it was safer to drive. It caused a bit of a delay.” Magnus tried to not let his mind drift to the memories of dancing in the diner during that delay. 

Rafael seemed to noticed the peacefulness in his dad’s expression while Magnus pulled the covers up around him. Rafael was never short of observations about the things and people around him. At this moment, he seemed to be figuring out what was going through his dad’s head. 

“Did you have a nice time, Papa?” The knowing smile on his lips made it appear that he already knew the answer. 

Magnus smiled widely at his son, seeing no need for pretense about his emotion. Magnus had always made a point of keeping the flow of communication open between his boys, assuring that they always knew they could trust him. As they grew up over the past years, it became clear to Magnus that the trust being built was also something that his boys promised back to him. 

“Yes, I had a marvelous time. Alexander is truly something else.” 

“I think he likes you a lot. He can never stop blushing when you talk to him.” Rafael giggled at that and Magnus joined him. Magnus loved to see that beautiful face of Alec’s when the heat rose to his cheeks.

Magnus leaned forward and kissed Rafael’s forehead lightly before whispering, “Let’s hope so. Goodnight, sweetheart.” 

“Goodnight, Papa. Love you.” 

Magnus smiled as he got up from the bed. “I love you, too.” He made his way quietly out of the room and headed to the next room to see Max. Just as he was arriving, he saw Catarina exiting. She kept the door open for him and said she’d be back in the living room. 

Walking into Max’s room, he turned off the main lights and flipped the switch that let the twinkling lights displayed in the likeness of Van Gogh’s _Starry Night_ glow in the darkness. In the bed, Magnus could see Max curled up under the covers and regarding his dad happily. The love on his sweet face filled Magnus to the brim with affection. 

Magnus spoke as he sat down beside Max, “Go straight to sleep, okay? No sneaking out of bed to go say hi to Raf.”

“I know, Papa. I’m sorry I stayed up but I really wanted to see you.”

The purity in his voice was undeniable. “I understand, pumpkin. No need to apologize.” 

“Did you have fun on your date?” 

Magnus gave a mock gasp at the statement, mostly filled with surprise. “I never said it was a date! Who told you that?” 

Max giggled as he replied, “Auntie Catarina. She said you were on a date because you both like each other and you think Alec is cute and nice so you went to spend time together.” 

Magnus let his hand stroke his son’s hair gently as he saw his eyelids begin to droop at a languid pace. “That’s pretty much it, and yes, we had a fun time together.” 

A yawn spilled out of Max’s mouth as he turned to his side to curl up more tightly. Magnus watched closely as sleep crept over him bit by bit. 

“I like Alec, and I can tell he likes you, Papa. Let’s see him more.” Those last words from Max were mumbled and culminated in a final yawn before Magnus saw sleep overtake his son’s expression. Soft snores soon followed and Magnus gazed fondly for a few more seconds before quietly padding out of the room, letting Max drift into his dreams.

As he walked down the hall towards the living room, his feet moved slowly as he let the warmth of his emotion wash over him. Max’s request to see more of Alec seemed like it would be coming true very quickly. He recalled Alec’s response when he said to come see him tomorrow… _How does before and after work sound?_

It seemed like Alec was eager to spend more time together as well. How could it only be one date and Magnus was already feeling renewed and in complete bliss? Magnus was ready to tell himself to slow down, to not make this like the other times when he’d fallen too fast. 

Just as he was prepared to say those words to himself, he stopped. 

This was different, and he knew that with utmost certainty. Everything was effortless with Alec. Even after their misunderstanding today when Magnus thought he’d pushed him too far, Alec did not hesitate to set his thoughts straight and share how he felt. 

Or rather, show how he felt. The sensation of being pressed up against that tree as Alexander cradled his face and kissed him deeply made him feel light-headed with desire. 

This feeling was new. This effortless familiarity and care towards each other was a foreign feeling, and it demanded to be embraced. So that was exactly what Magnus planned to do. 

He reentered the living room to see Catarina sprawled onto the couch holding red wine, another glass of wine set on the table for him. He slunk down into the armchair next to her and saw her eyes glistening with excitement. 

“Now, tell me everything.”

The opportunity to relive every moment of that day’s bliss was golden. Magnus picked up his glass, took a small sip, and let his lips flow with details about the date. He could only hope that delightful twist in his stomach was something Alexander was feeling too.

\-------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come spread some Tumblr love @lasttraintowherever


	15. Epilogue/Deleted Scene #3 -- How Rare and Beautiful it is to Even Exist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue/Deleted Scene #3: set about 3 months after Chapter 12 (the last chapter) and involved Alec's family and parents coming to meet everyone and having some important conversations with Magnus. With the three parts, the POVs go from Alec's, Magnus's, then ends with Alec's (right where we started!)
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter Title is from Saturn by Sleeping at Last, a song that I associate with Malec all the time and I cry over it all the time because I'm emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people,
> 
> I present to you the last deleted scene of this story, and the likely last thing I will write for this story. It has been an absolute joy to write this and have catharsis from a story like this. All the love and support and comments has been unbeatable and beautiful and I cherish it so much. 
> 
> I really hope you like this ending. I know a lot of people wanted an epilogue with Alec's family so I tried my hardest to deliver. I also love the idea of Maryse redemption so I hope you like what she does in this chapter. Please enjoy these 4.7k words of love with our favorite men as my gift to you for this Thanksgiving. 
> 
> I am about to head into finals and once I'm done, I will have lots of free time so I plan to take on another AU project. No clue what it will be yet, but I'll think about it. Feel free to send me some ideas on Tumblr @lasttraintowherever
> 
> Lots of love to everyone ♥ Wasabi

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Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

The silken feel of hot breath against his chest tickled Alec’s senses awake. He knew it was still early in the morning, judging by the sparse streams of light that came in from the window. 

Alec peered through the creases of his eyes at the solid weight resting on his chest. A smooth mass of hard muscle and bits of scratchy stubble brushed against the skin above his steady heart. Before he could even open his eyes fully, Alec’s smile rose like the lazy sun on the horizon. 

Would he ever get used to how good this felt? Waking up next to Magnus, their bodies tangled with ease all through the night, holding each other with both strength and gentleness? 

Probably not, Alec thought to himself. It was an inevitability he was more than okay with. The delight of that thought made Alec hold Magnus closer to his chest, his large hand splayed across Magnus’s toned back. Alec inhaled deeply as the morning air expanded in his lungs.

Before he could fall back into his dream state, full lips pressed against his skin in gentle kisses as Alec saw Magnus’s head move slightly, indicating that he wasn’t asleep. 

Magnus spoke with his morning voice, laced heavily with a roughness that sent chills down Alec’s spine. “Alexanderrr…why are you up?”

Alec smiled into his soft hair that was free of all product, not wasting a moment to place a kiss at the top of his head. 

“Just...thinking, about a few things. You can go back to sleep for a bit more.” 

Magnus lifted his head slowly and as he looked up, it was impossible for Alec to not stare at his green and gold depths glimmering softly at him. They were filled with care and love, even at the time of day when consciousness was overcome by laziness. 

“No, tell me. What are you thinking about?” Magnus wasn’t letting this slide; it was a big day today and he could tell that Alec was trying to bury his anxiety.

Alec smiled the tiniest bit before he continued, “I can’t help but be a little worried. It’s such a massive step. I…I just want them to see how important everything here is to me…how important you are.” 

Magnus harbored no hesitation as he pushed himself up against Alec’s chest, allowing him to press their lips together; his kiss was firm, steady, and an unwavering reminder that Magnus would be with him every step of the way. 

Magnus pulled back slightly so Alec could hear him whisper with conviction. “Alexander, everything will be wonderful. They’re coming all the way here at their own will. They’re making an effort and we should encourage that with open arms. Stay positive about what this weekend can bring. Remember how well our last visit went?”

Alec smiled back at Magnus, remembering the delightful weekend they shared when Izzy, Simon, and Jace, who all came down to visit a few weeks after Kevin had been arrested. 

Simon and Jace frolicked around with the boys easily, but it was Izzy who was most smitten with Magnus, Raf, and Max. The melding of Alec’s worlds went so smoothly, better than he ever could have imagined. It felt like a destiny he had never anticipated. 

But this time, his parents were coming too. After years of passive emotion and a lack of acceptance of who he was, he came clean to his parents about the abuse Kevin had put him through. Their reaction was a bit aloof at first, seemingly unsure of how to react. Then he saw his mother and father break down in a way he’d never seen, filled with pain and disbelief that they could have missed so much. 

Alec didn’t want to think it was the least expected reaction, but it still surprised him. A good surprise, though. The type of surprise that seemed to signal a turning point in their relationship. And now, the next step in that turning point involved his parents coming to Southport with Izzy and Simon, so they could meet Magnus and the boys. 

Was he scared? Yes. Uncertain? Yes. Excited? Meh. 

The anticipation of this visit had filled him with emotions all week. He wished he could convey the cool confidence of Magnus and the excitement of Max and Rafael. 

“Oh my, I can hear the wheels turning in your head, Alexander. Please try to relax. You won’t enjoy yourself at all if you’re so wound up.” Magnus reached for one of Alec’s hands to squeeze it before he spoke again. “I promise you, this will be a weekend to remember. For only good reasons.” 

Magnus halted any further dread by pressing a firm kiss against Alec’s lips, now threading his hand through his messy locks. The sensation of Magnus’s touch never failed to calm him. 

“You’re right. Like most of the time.”

“You mean, ALL of the time, my love.” That statement from Magnus made Alec smirk mischievously, but unwilling to argue with the man he loved so dearly. Alec let his hand trail towards Magnus’s lower back, skirting just along the border above his smooth, firm butt. He squeezed and bit his lip as he heard Magnus’s sudden intake of breath. 

Magnus crawled up Alec’s body to bring their faces level with each other, holding Alec’s neck as he kissed him deeply. His tongue demanded entrance in Alec’s mouth as his lips moved with a lazy passion. 

Alec couldn’t stop his quiet moans from escaping; Magnus could always pull them out of him. The heat caused Alec’s penis to swell with desire, the hardness poking Magnus in the hip. He felt Magnus pull back for a moment as he stared back at him, his desire overpowering any lingering tiredness. 

“Mmmm, I have an idea how to start this day, hopefully relieving any of your worries about this weekend.” Magnus purred as his kisses moved down Alec’s neck, before nipping at the skin along his collarbone. 

Before Alec could begin to guess what Magnus could mean, he watched his sly smile grow as Magnus slid down his body and swiftly pulled of Alec’s boxers. 

“Just lay back, my love, and let me take care of you.” With those words, Magnus squeezed Alec’s thighs as his mouth engulfed his hard penis. Alec let the warmth of Magnus’s mouth and tongue flood his senses as he fell into a state of bliss. 

The anxious feelings he had about the coming weekend drifted away in that moment. Clearly, Magnus was the master of giving Alec the strength to conquer anything.

\----------------------------------

The happy shrieks of Max and Raf were followed by playful shouts from Simon as they played a game of soccer in the front yard. Rafael was clearly the most skilled with the ball but he didn’t seem to mind, as large smiles were emblazoned on all their faces.

While Alec and his father cooked on the grill in front of the porch, Magnus was inside the kitchen to finish the vegetable skewers. The easy smile on his face refused to fade, because everything about the visit with Alec’s parents was going splendidly so far. They’d taken a boat ride in the harbor, thanks to the helpful arrangements of Luke, and everyone had been besides themselves with excitement. He snuck glances at his boys with Alec’s parents, sitting on their laps while they pointed out things they saw in the water. 

Based on the ways Alec had described his parents, he expected for them to be more stiff and unwilling to open up. What came as a surprise to him, and apparently Alec by the look on his face all day, was how ready they were to embrace everyone they met in Southport, and all the new members of Alec’s life. 

Alec seemed taken aback by their warmth but Magnus was thrilled by what he saw: two parents, trying their hardest, to reconnect with their son and see the new life he found. And whether Alec would admit or not, there was a handful of similar qualities that Magnus could see reflected in Alec, particularly his mother’s unrelenting demeanor. 

Robert was a kind and quiet man, but Maryse was a more curious character. She emanated ferocity and poise, similar to what he saw in Izzy, but there were many moments that he’d catch her eyes softening as she looked at Alec. The happiness on his face seemed to carry through to her, helping her seeing how his life was better than it ever was. 

“Can I help you with anything?” 

The voice entering the kitchen instantly brought him out of his thoughts, and when he turned around, he saw Maryse standing in the entry of the kitchen, leaning against the counter. She wore a calm smile as she glanced around. 

Magnus smiled back and tried to shake any lingering tension out of his shoulders. “Oh no, don’t worry. I’m almost done with these skewers and then I was going to take them outside.” Maryse was their guest and he didn’t want her to work, but she immediately came to his side to start assembling the last of the skewers with him.

“I don’t mind, I promise.” She pushed up her sleeves up and started helping Magnus, as they fell into a comfortable rhythm working next to each other. There wasn’t much more to do but it was nice to have someone help him. 

The air felt like it was pulsing, as Magnus could see that the pensive look on Maryse’s face, seemingly eager to say something. He made a few small comments but nothing really substantial that she responded to. Oh dear, Magnus thought to himself, he really didn’t want to mess things up with Maryse. He knew how pertinent this weeken—

“I wanted to thank you, Magnus.” 

Magnus’s head whipped to the side to look at Maryse with wide eyes. He didn’t know where these thanks were coming from. “Maryse, I’m not sure—“

She held her hand to stop Magnus’s words, indicating that she had more to get out. “Please, let me continue. I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a parent, particularly with Alec. I’ve put way too many harsh expectations on him and never let him flourish as who he was. And that neglect let things go too far, to the point where he got hurt.” Her head lowered at that, inhaling a deep breath before continuing. “I’m not sure how long it’ll be before I forgive myself for that, but I want to thank you. So much. Thank you for making sure he never gave up on love.” 

Her eyes were glassy with tears, but an affection and pride shone through. Magnus hadn’t expected such a heartfelt confession to come from Alec’s mother, but it filled him with a warm feeling of acceptance from an important part of Alec’s life. 

Magnus smiled back at her, tears brimming in his own eyes. “Thank you, Maryse. Loving Alec is the easiest decision I’ve ever made in my life.” 

Her face lit up in a way he had yet to see and just as she was about to respond, Alec poked his head inside through the front door and seemed surprised to see Magnus and his mother with in such a comfortable moment. “Hey, are you…you two, done with the veggies?” 

Maryse swiftly grabbed the plate filled with the skewers and headed outside. “Yes, I got them. I’ll bring them out to your dad.” She headed outside to where Robert was in front of the grill, as Magnus walked slowly behind her towards where Alec stood in the doorway. 

“What was going on in here?” Alec was inquisitive as he regarded Magnus’s expression, which seemed to convey a pleasant mood. 

Magnus winked at him before pecking his cheek. He whispered in a private tone, “I’ll tell you later. But I think you will be happily surprised, my dear.” They held each other closely before moving outside to join the others, Alec returning to the grill where his parents were, but not before handing a plastic cup of wine spritzer to Magnus.

Magnus moved to lean against the porch rail, overlooking the crowd of people accumulated across the yard. He took a sip of his drink and relished the slightly sweet taste of fruit and wine on his tongue. He wore an easy smile as he watched Izzy walking up the stairs of the porch, swaying over to where he was standing. 

“Well, Magnus, this weekend is turning into a real triumph.” She spoke with so much joy in her tone as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed him for a moment. 

The easy affection between them made him beam with happiness. Alec had been spot on when he said that Magnus and his sister would get along well. Isabelle was a strong, caring and intelligent woman that loved her brother endlessly. Meeting her on their last visit was a delight, and seeing her again this weekend was like reuniting with an old friend. 

“I couldn’t agree more, my dear Isabelle. Everyone seems like they’re having a wonderful time.” 

“Including my parents, which is the surprise of the century. It seems that no one is immune to the charms of Magnus Bane and his beautiful sons.” Her smile was wide and bright as she spoke, confirming the feelings he was having about the success of their families coming together. 

They both wordlessly clinked their cups together in celebration, causing Magnus to smile as they gazed at each other. It took him a moment to realize that Izzy had a similar look of pondering on her features that he had previously seen on Maryse. He knew that today had been quite momentous for everyone, and hearing so many people accept his life and his love for Alec made emotions rush fiercely through him.

“Isabelle, you look like you have something you’re dying to say.” 

She smiled a mischievous smirk as she looked back at him. Izzy gazed at everyone in their joyous moods before turning back to him. “Indeed I do, Magnus.” 

Magnus braced himself for whatever words followed, praying with earnest that he would like what he heard. 

Izzy breathed deeply before she started. “Magnus…I love my brother, with all my heart and I would do anything for him. That’s why you should know that I have never seen him so happy. It’s almost scary how much he’s changed for the better since he’s been with you. It’s like all the amazing things that have always been inside of him, the parts I’ve always seen, have been awakened. I always hoped he’d find someone who loved him like this, and he finally did.” She wiped at the tear the strayed from her eyes, laughing off the wave of devotion that was affecting her.

She continued, “I see him look at you, and I see his eyes shining brighter than they ever have. You’re it for him. He’s going to love you forever, I hope you realize that.” 

Magnus is initially taken aback, he almost felt like he was at a breaking point of emotion. He has been showered with affection and understanding by Alec’s family all day, and it had been overwhelming in the most beautiful way possible. His eyes were on the brink of pouring with tears and they stopped in their tracks as Izzy embraced him in a tight hug. He held her back just as tight, hoping the strength of it would keep him from becoming a blubbering mess in front of everyone. 

Despite this being the first time Izzy has said these words to him, Magnus knew all she had said already. He has known it with every look, every word, and every touch he has shared with Alec over the past months. He’s fallen in love with Alec and it had given him more strength than any relationship ever has. 

They released each other from their hug and Izzy patted him on his shoulder before running down to the front yard to play with the boys and Simon. Magnus inhaled deeply to gain some composure and as he turned his head, he could see Alec looking up at him with a question in his gorgeous, hazel eyes. Magnus flashed him a brilliant smile to admonish any concern, at least until he could fill him later. For now, he walked down the porch steps to join the smiling faces of two families becoming one.

As afternoon turned to evening, they shared their time together with laughter and good food. Everything seemed so perfect. Magnus’s heart remained full at the end of the evening as Alec’s parents went to their inn and the rest made their way to bed. Despite how delighted he felt, he had a lot to process about what had been discussed. After a couple restless hours in bed, he quietly padded out of the room and downstairs.

In the darkest moments of night, when the moon was surely at its highest point in the sky, Magnus stood stoically in the kitchen. The earthy steam from his mug of tea wafted in his face. 

Everyone in the house was surely fast asleep by now. Magnus had tried to do the same, but the words of both Maryse and especially Izzy swam feverishly through his mind. They didn’t cause any dread whatsoever, but they made it difficult for his mind to rest. 

In need of some air to clear his thinking, he walked out the door and sat on the steps of the front porch, grabbing a woolen blanket along the way to drape around his shoulders. The night sky was clear and glistening, the stars dancing with each other as they shone down on him. He allowed himself to take a mental image, hoping to replicate this sky and this feeling in a painting someday.

\----------------------------------

Alec wasn’t sure if it was a dream or just an inkling in his subconscious, but something started him awake in the night. He looked around in a fervor and reached out for Magnus as his anchor. What Alec didn’t expect was to be alone in their bed, the warm space to his right that Magnus usually occupied, empty.

He wondered about where Magnus was, quickly remembering the thoughtfulness he’d seen on his face throughout the day. Magnus enjoyed his late-night pondering but it never took too long for him to return to bed. So after a while of waiting for him, Alec slid out of bed to grab a sweater and find out where he was. 

The transition between summer and fall could be felt in the house with the slight chill that glided over the wood floors, but it was just a small chill rather than uncomfortably cold as Alec walked downstairs. After looking through the living room and kitchen, he saw the front door ajar and made his way outside. 

Confirming his suspicion, he saw Magnus with a large blanket wrapped around him, eyes wide as he gazed at the stars above. Alec smiled at the sight, allowing the beauty of what he was witnessing imprint in his memory before moving towards Magnus. Magnus remained still as Alec sat on the step next to him, but knew he was aware of his presence as Magnus extended the blanket to cover both of their shoulders. 

Softened wool brushed over his exposed skin as they became enclosed in a private warmth, just for the two of them. 

The contemplative look in Magnus’s eyes made Alec slightly hesitant but he always wanted to know what Magnus was feeling. “What are you doing up so late?”

Magnus took a moment before responding, clearly struck by the weight of whatever thoughts were in his head. He grasped for Alec’s hand beneath the blanket and held it to his chest before replying. “I’ve been thinking. Thinking about things that frighten me and excite me.” 

Alec squeezed Magnus’s hand in his, not responding with words just yet because it seemed like there was much more on the tip of Magnus’s tongue. He had seen Magnus talking privately with his mom and Izzy today. He didn’t pry because he knew that Magnus would share with him eventually, but to see him so affected was unfamiliar. 

But he didn’t look scared, or bothered, or upset. He seemed…enlightened. Peaceful. 

Alec waited longer while Magnus continued to collect his thoughts. Magnus shifted closer to Alec so every part on the side of their bodies could align, warmth touching warmth as the air around them buzzed with anticipation. Despite its softness, Magnus’s voice cut through the nighttime as he spoke again. 

“Al..Alexander. I’m usually never the one to be at a loss for words, but that’s just what you do to me. You leave me utterly speechless and completely breathless. Everything I feel with you is so wonderfully new. I never truly believed that I could feel like this again, but you always surprise me. Every day that I have known you, you’ve surprised me. It-it’s been the greatest thrill of my life to fall in love with you.” 

Alec knew that beautiful words would pour out of Magnus’s mouth in this moment, just like his words always were, but this confession robbed him of all steadiness. He felt heady with love and affection, ready to kiss Magnus senseless to share all those emotions right back.

Before he even got the chance, Magnus turned to him and cradled his face with an enduring tenderness. Not trusting the strength of his voice just yet, Alec marveled at how poignantly beautiful Magnus looked in the moonlight. He couldn’t decide when Magnus had been more beautiful: when he first saw him through the window of the art school and was completely struck by his grace and power for the first time? Or maybe now, where that grace and power were now combined with the knowledge of his affection and kindness, and his limitless beauty that was present in every moment?

Alec smiled without inhibition as he stared back. Definitely now, he thought.

As Magnus took his time to reason with his thoughts again, letting his fingers graze the skin on Alec’s cheeks, Alec placed a firm hand on Magnus’s leg as he fell deeper into his own emotions. 

How could he be so awakened so quickly, by one person? One extraordinary, indescribable person. He would be a fool if he didn’t take this as a sign from the universe. 

This one fit. This man was his and he would cherish this love for as long as he could. Unable to hold back, Alec leaned closer, just enough to place a soft kiss on Magnus’s lips and feel their silkiness on his. Magnus embraced the gentleness of the kiss before he moved back a millimeter, just enough to speak his next words in a private tone, reflecting the gentle strength of the promise he was making. 

“Marry me, Alexander. Please let me love you with every breath I take.” 

Suddenly, Alec felt like every nerve in his body was lit with an electricity that warmed his bones. It rushed through him with more love than he ever knew was possible to feel. He felt pure credence as Magnus gazed back at him, waiting for his answer. 

Alec was certain, more certain than he had ever been, that he was making the right decision. The very best choice for the very best life he could ever dream of. After being made to believe that he must be hurt to feel love for so long, the dream of a love like this felt so far away. 

But that dream was now a reality. Magnus was real and right in front of him, cradling his face with all the tenderness in the universe. 

He almost didn’t realize it from the close proximity of their faces but Alec now noticed the tears falling slowly from his green and gold eyes, affection shining through with reckless abandon. He could feel similar tears sliding down his cheeks as the pads of Magnus’s thumbs wiped them away. 

Lost in the haze of gazing at Magnus, Alec almost forgot to respond to what Magnus had just said to him. He took a long, deep breath before responding, letting the serenity of night wash over him as he took a step toward his forever. He pressed his forehead against Magnus’s, the whisper of his tone being the only thing Magnus was focused on. 

“Magnus Bane, you saved my life. You found me at a time where I was terrified…terrified if I would ever feel cherished. Coming here and finding you was never any plan of mine, but you’ve shown me that the best things can happen when you least expect it. You were the last thing I expected to find here, but you’re absolutely the best thing that’s happened to me.” Alec couldn’t stand the tension anymore and pressed his lips firmly against Magnus’s to stop his voice from shaking. The kiss was filled with passion and a hint of desperation, but it was pure. Filled with a promise they were both making to each other: they would never let the other one go. 

Alec changed from slow, long kisses to quicker pecks before pulling back a bit to look at Magnus, where tears were now flowing freely down his face. His beautiful face was glowing with happiness, easily the happiest Alec had ever seen. 

His life goal, Alec decided right there, would be to keep that look on Magnus’s face every single day, starting right now. 

“Yes. Yes, I will marry you and I will work my damn hardest to make you happy, and make Max and Raf happy too.” 

Alec didn’t think Magnus’s smile could become brighter but it did in that moment, steadfast as he soaked in Alec’s response. Magnus let his hands slide down his shoulders and move to Alec’s chest, resting just above where his heart was beating rapidly. His fingers brushed against his sweater gently as he replied, “I’m certain you will, Alexander. You’ve already been excelling at that.”

That comment made Alec chuckle softly, thinking how making them happy was the easiest thing he could ever do. He wrapped his arms tightly around Magnus’s broad shoulders to pull him into a tight hug, feeling Magnus’s body immediately relax against his own while Magnus locked his arms around his waist. 

This embrace sealed their commitment. Not only were they getting married, but they were devoting themselves to each other, this life, and the love they would cherish for the rest of their lives. 

As they loosened their hold, they each kept an arm wrapped around the other as Magnus encased them in their blanket even more tightly, letting the warmth hum through their bodies. Alec smiled to himself as he felt Magnus rest his head against his shoulder while they both gazed at the glistening stars above the moonlit dock in the distance. 

The stillness of night surrounded them as they held each other close, pressing the occasional kiss in each other’s hair or shoulder. Words weren’t needed at the moment, as the weight of their previous declarations still churned through Alec’s mind. If it was getting colder, Alec didn’t notice nor care, because the heat of Magnus’s skin against him set his body on fire. 

It felt like all the things Alec had ever hoped for: passion, devotion, care, trust. All the things he hoped that love could bring him one day. 

From being ashamed of who he was in his youth to the pain he suffered at the hands of a man trying to hurt him, he always seemed to doubt his worth. 

And all it took was an enchanting man, with kindness in his eyes, with a heart of gold that dazzled through his every word and action, with a kiss that balanced heat and affection in a way that made Alec feel like he could prevail anything. 

Magnus had saved him, from a life that was trying to harm him and from the version of himself that tried to make him believe that he wasn’t deserving of this. 

The constellations painted themselves across the sky and the image reminded Alec of the beautiful way Magnus painted the world. As he pressed another soft kiss against Magnus’s temple, smelling the unmistakable scent of sandalwood around him, all the strewn-about pieces of his mind came together, once and for all. 

He would never doubt that he could have something this beautiful ever again.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIND ME ON TUMBLR @lasttraintowherever  
> COME SHARE YOUR FEELINGS AND YELL AT ME IF YOU NEED TO ;)


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